A letter from August 11th, 2019

Peaceful right?

hey lex, it’s weird that I’ve already written 4 other letters but I feel the need to write more. This summer has been a roller coaster of emotions, we experienced some good, some bad, and some ugly. I’m trying to keep a positive attitude but it’s just been so hard lately, i spent my summer chasing after mark, i tried to hard to make us happen but he didn’t want me. He says he still likes me but he always makes mistakes and he doesn’t wanna put me through that or something ?? I haven’t texted him in almost a week but I called him yesterday to see if he could help me and isabel get our car unstuck but he said he couldn’t help and then hung up before I could say thanks anyway. I’m really hurt and I wish I didn’t feel this way. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do anymore, do I just wallow in self pity until my heart heals itself somehow ? I’m so lost and confused and I can only hope that we have our **** together by the time you get this letter. Oh also happy birthday ! make sure you get that tattoo over spring break unless you’ve decided not to then that’s fine! I hope that when I read this letter again I’ll be happier and that reading marks name won’t hurt. I’m praying for our happiness and I hope it finds us :) until we meet again, xoxo lex

Epilogue

about 2 months later

Hi lex :)

I remember that summer oh so clearly and i want to apologize for putting you through all of that hurt over a boy who doesn’t know what...

Esh’ dgion. Taht ti wedaolwl to leha hte (whti uoy erven aezdlire ydas) you pyti of dnoe in wsa eth oogd uevoy’ os bda itnlu far ieonpetcx ggoni r,htea fsle ryou. Gnkait to fo uatyclal lful m’i apg ruo abkre voicd rou hcloso elov reef elrgrau ’lil euacs ?od aebsuce ew os fo leif akoy uro oietentxnsn ’dton go took on sicne but eclsssa eb rou ebrak htimg rkeab a sthi e’wre ekew aawy si goelcel ew eohgttre tsereh’ lsilt spinrg ,lasescs em but rof yhet inogg iadp uor nad gintteg ,selssca ot omfr pu, nda ! ew vahe ubt ’its ehva eceollg anitgk for enwt. Im’ ot ihwt ints’ !!! is ont eb ptu m’s ton beauces we itnggte rewe htsi us ewdenek tub ndaigre hte cnfsgnoiu todinsgpp,iain evpexisne evnre ym e’hs gigon tooatt ’edtnso aphpy btu ti veeedsr and e’rwe gnegtit i’m hte nmyeaor how tasl sneo truh opesrn amne yhte icrdpee who eazledir eomenos dan ubt :) i same to yte. Os pyhpa ’hstat ti ucbease fg ithw shi own nda eh so yppah lsate at eh ogdo esesm ’she bbs,ea vsredese. Gientternis salo an ktanh sp,eisnaph ofr ekpe kgrniow was tyihbdra rou ti eno hsie,ws was het u orf ubt grtea ti ’its :) eenb iynarpg. Is idnka fadworr and ot ti 18 ruth i dan eb oyu nfu eyrall apni as os ocldu husgpin ’tis ghu to put all ew wish ycasr ,omre sa epek nda teh ietnggt geazoolpi and hwo ): lepeas gthohut trhhgou yre’uo okwn obtau i ttha t’nis wtohr.
Igynrap sllti ’im ofr uro nps,heiasp.
Xel <3 ,xoxo.

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