A letter from April 25th, 2019

Peaceful right?

Dear,, me? Hey. So I guess by the time this is getting delivered were gonna be graduating in 6 weeks, alex is in the same place you are right now, were going to her graduation soon, I'm pretty excited, I'm sure you're excited too huh? But pretty scared I'd imagine, I wonder what we decided to major in, right now I'm still thing political science or biomedical engineering, still havent ddecided what school though, we have so many options it seems, it's really something me and alex should sit down and talk about, alex and us just hit our 7 month, I love her so much, at the moment were still struggling with everything that happened with holly, still very much scared of a lot of things, but I'm really really trying to fix it, I hope it's all better where you are, I'm sure it is right? As im writing this im sitting on the cold, dirty band floor next to Kelsey, we had to leave guard, but it was probably for the best right? I love, we love almost everyone here,, just,, things dont always work out, even if you love them, it makes me sad but I hope next year will be fun even without them. Oh yeah!! We got our first job a couple weeks ago, we havent gotten our first paycheck but I'm excited, I still owe logan a $60 game (to get him out of the house so alex could come over ;)lmao) I think I'm going to spend the first one on fun stuff but then save my 100s, me and alex wanna get a place soon after I graduate, hypothetically i should make about 600 a month, i guess you know how well that actually worked out huh? I still wanna eventually work for starbucks, cause i can transfer to a store in any state with them, plus they have good benefits for when I'm an adult-adult, alex just got a promotion at her job, so hopefully we should make enough to move away, I hope far far away, but I'll be okay even if it's just to Austin or some other city away from, everyone and everything, our past lives. Hopefully we took that trip with her to California, got to visit Sara and Beth and nicole and grandma! Maybe we decided it was home, I hope we found home zaria. we have a little over a month until we get to go to Colorado with alex! I hope it was fun! I'm sure it was, I wish you could write me back and tell me all about it, I'm so excited. Jades being a bitch but what's new? Shes just a shitty person, and i know shes trying to get better but shes still a shitty person, keeps forcing me to drink and i dont wanna, among other things, today she told me I dont live in the moment, I think i do I just like to feel prepared for the future, I hope I did enough, maybe I'm not worrying enough, I'll fix everything, I'm sorry dont worry, I'll make sure everything is set up for you, for us, through and through (sorry that song just came on, by khai dreams!) I wish you could write me back zaria, I feel like you know so much more that i do, but knowing me,, probably not. I'm sure everything right now, for you, is scary and exciting, were really about to, start life for real for real, free trial is over, time to actually,, do things, I dont know what things, but i know you'll figure it out. You and alex? Come on, were an unstoppable team, you're going to figure everything out, we have it, I know were smart and resourceful enough to live wherever we decided to go, I know you're going to be amazing zaria, were going to do amazing things, even if you dont feel that right now, reading this, know you are, were going to be successful and happy in the long run. Give alex a kiss for me would you? I miss her♡ I love you zaria, be you soon -17 year old zaria, at the end of her junior year

Epilogue

over 2 years later

Hey little me!
We are so so happy!
we found home :)
Sorry I didn't get this letter till we were almost 21. You set us up so well!! you...

Idd wrgiyrno utb uchm uoy os tagre ot dene tdnid' obj, be a. Owyr,r ,fro esbt het efbroe obj ,ript nwok ouy eratf ouy adn n)wo oodclora eevla & ew ubt wtha eovm lowud frtae olas chwh(i taht lcalutya uoy ichwh( tsi i( si we meth tge erwe tnudigraag edn te!rhe! that up i uhmc, i eanpphs wto nto the smis hrtig hewlo smvoe ouy uoy ehpeicgpnxng/tio eht egeintpxc, apedimnc o!!en) too yarle konw 'otnd igrth o,f piasknge oyu ofr eeptnixcg ymalfi kwno ti nda wrnete' er'nat sriuvv)e rysae eht.
We not hwta at erve i nkow ew tcep,xeed ,81 uot mevo. Sa bda sigun rnate' as csik ewre hewn ew 21/11 egt yarell we tbu we ngaia, a tno ce,na ouy amrerbsdase trtsa. Hatt no won wolhe cear su uro trsfi xlae asetk arey of. Gntih ,rsnpoe es'hs het ppaehn us tmso ot vree het aizamgn tseb to. Si nhat no neev oyu ,hrad os anc nisittg of reya taht hte nbad rahdre fisrt drmae forlo. Ti dsay hugothr fo teh i rantmapte iltetl htta of ,tegerhot uyo will ohthrug maek trhsaed aexl tog nda ti ubt. .
Ymapriril hewn 91 onn did n,giaa we adb eew'r chcoie, eosth ew in !sady alaulytc trghohu ni vemo nad utb dmea attrs a we ta teh adrh teh one fo hwit ikmee etg ngileph radh a tsju 51 it ifptro emslehso, irkgown t,yic n!o!ah ot hchwi ilke we adn was at. Owrk hoyll smnooee ayonmer sya ot nw,o tiwh nad rahd teh mena otn we is naemd laultyca. M,egada semo adej uers, ubt idd uto ostp epaels aihgnng hoyll tihw. 'essh hginst htwa hreto endo rae i teh atth wkno. Realy uyo aadrgeut to ceaspe lilw.
Away on clsoe to ttesas oyu aer tnaotcc adn ibneg os. T'is but about adrh teg to. Eth is ardh dog it btu twohr. .
Now era we yeerv dya phpay. Kiel mngnoir kwro n,idagmei eryev most up keaw ew ottehrge evrdi nad evrey to texn nad kfabresta laxe srmoingn ot we aehv eta yad ew.
/lera/yl gdoo ti 17, arsey 'tsoedn dahr for rtnaeoh rysor now gte ta tiereh 3 file 'im ihrtg si. Heert but era htey ear twhro in rey,as gdoo 3 mnya shtoe ti dsya dab so. .
Uyo era ear na itsll alex ew nad tgrih, uyo rae ,meat eobltnpsupa. .
Cat a dna o,gd yuo aveh a egorteht. Fomr ingths of oearxani kcoo het ew neidrn ,wkee n'otd ursgtegl hraccts ynareom and 6 tiwh. Taipn ew ltsli. .
Teh saw oyu ryc for rugad s,teb bouta tbu ti aignvle liwl. Twih oantctc the ptke ethos screol oholsc ylteeemarn oreeveny in on slyotm ihws i uyo team, tbu mrof oru. Lyuslua slitl eht n'odt atme tihw tkal on wrroy, ,kwee esalatt x2 a you ot pleope teh uhhtog oure'y lscteso two 6x. .
Vbeeeli 'twon aevh tenx nda era to ncei tbu fft!su hte rou scloho baotu ew it, ew have donco bkca veern neev uoy ,nwo it rea!y uoy tfac ni thutohg iagrttns onw. Biegn aphcnial nnilngpa a 'reew no. Leoecgl aefrt iadinalttor osochl tno rtihg to outba we ongig oysrr eerw pninlang keli a. 4 !g!hohtu od aamngiz yuo. 06 on dan adn eorebf ssle asrtst s'atth tge algnninp ceapimdn dan is oelcegl udegarta 71, !tyidahr!b btauo sreu agp ghri!t ew mvongi ta as the yuo(r) ew tub fliyma sesl hte. Of for ow,nk mhte osyrr os sacrp oru lrtsete otg ew ercntineodmaom i( nyma oyu os i'm picaalntsoip. Deceid ta a nisec on agp l,wle 3 ddeeci dna esry,a y-rae- a pga 20 ) ew. Oludw euserras utpse tkinh iwchh oyu nda i. .
Esotudi ilfe fo su oildtaaniv ndif mhet fo etsduoi dacis,meca axel hepls uyo fdin spelh. Wkon eelf eb we viteac aer ni rof ilwl eadtes how dtn'o you epsur ta hocl,so uoy hs ndvvielo i tub. Ss?cla? i,rcho novelvdi nad eon ii,gddkn owh lal ,andb utb ileyuossr( are erth,aet you era ,lrgi ubcls pa 5 ouy. ).
Useebca a kbac ni lfe,i ufnod relac veol wteri ubt to olcosh fo to nda tahp hreet we we inlgcla ot useeacb tge alpvrapo sssyea giixn,cet nda we ubt ont ogngi leki vaeh the a ha,cseetr si. .
Aer a hlaacnip ew ot ecoebm ngogi. .
Igong dthea ofr ni salywa to wrko it wslaay was oot syriutnd you sniydutr to ,us aewdnt tub vahe the. Wno wlil eihtr ew eb lbea hepl getohrte to eht lfesiiam dyign nda. .
Edeptsi rty xnte oyu ryes,a het 3 iwll ysad ew guhthro yats mood loeupfh and hwree lfli.
Kmae era got eereyvon ot 5 kiel we with yuo yak,o on oastlm to definsr mthe lodh loyn o!!wn we new tbu th'ast gt,houh in ndiefrs ohw.
Orom aer lteriy,lal en,oemso em w,ith lehwi ahtt you triwgin htis ni ot the we eosl. Ot on eethr way prpaeer si. Stlil aer ,ngrvegii ti reaise ubt ew is.
Oot tinglka sotp lese seeomon we to. We lslti imss reh. Owh ouy is it nkhit.
So lrovlea so osthe ,hrtu hapyp we utb ear lislt. .
Nto onw eht eirberlt arerpde)p eb reuftu oabtu orf uor idyla d,oog it si't oto rwko on tisll ywrro but we ew pu(sl uchm ot.
User tnex fo ahtn mhuc osal eb btu os nxet lliw im' lulf mite atht wlil sith srue ihts lnel,cgshea we arye we ayer be era wo!n htrgi rae we beettr.
Uo!y wnya,ay velo i.

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