A letter from February 17th, 2019

Dear FutureMe, it is currently 9:30 pm on a sunday but guess what tomorrow is? president's day. and you know what that means. i'm facetiming marissa. hey did you know that marissa is the love of my life? no i mean like seriously. i've never felt so strongly about anyone or anything in my life, i've never been so sure of anything ever than i am of the fact that i want to spend the rest of my life with marissa. isn't that whack? my friends and i are drifting apart. i'm trying to fix it, though. i think i'm doing an okay job at it. i talked to marissa about it and we're both trying to be better about those things. hopefully when im a semester into my junior year i will be absolutely THRIVING. junior year is when popularity solidifies which means i have to rule the school by the time that this letter is delivered. my friends and i will be the go-to crew and marissa and i will be the cutest couple in school. by then, we'll have been dating for a year and a half. and that's forever on a teenage timeline. i feel like being so happy has confirmed my depression. like i can be sad because of lie but that's not depression, you know? i know when i'm depressed when everything is going absolutely swimmingly and i still feel like dying. marissa has made me the happiest i've been in a while. though i still really do want to see my therapist again. bryce and angela talked to each other about their antidepressants while in my presence recently and i. i don't know i want to feel good like them, you know? i keep saying you know. i know you know you're me. my karen is really adamant about not putting kids on meds i guess but i feel like. just a small dose. you know? i know you know. anyway, my grades are fine, my skin is fine, my hair is NOT fine, but my heart is fine. i'm getting sick and my throat hurts a lot. sometimes i go over to marissa's house and sleep over while her parents are home and her parents don't know about it and also when i said sometimes just not i meant every weekend. i miss marissa perez. hannah walker is ******* wild. i really want to get into a good college. i think that's it. i'll see you a year from now, ****. send **** pics.