A letter from January 23rd, 2019

Dear FutureMe, okay so. don't hate me. but I've decided to give up. for years I've looked down on people who don't care about their grades or don't want to get into a good college. but I can't keep pushing my limits. I'm the type of person who needs to nap a lot. I'm the type of person who needs a long checklist of simple tasks and artistic freedom and time for meditation. I can't do a lot of essays in college. I can't read hundreds of books a year. I will go to a private college, maybe even out of state. but I can't stress myself out. I have to know my boundaries and health habits. I want to go into something where they value my knowledge but don't ask for my grades. nobody asks for my transcript at susque. these are all people who have been sheltered their whole life and don't mind the fact that they won't succeed. I can learn from that. I want to make a difference. that can be one camper's life that starts a domino effect. I don't have to change the world. I can perform poorly without underperforming. I can be happy and never be have a 4.0 gpa. I can have professors think I'm intelligent without having to tear my hair out to impress them. I can live my best life and not allow the American Dream to become an idol. G-d doesn't mind that I don't always do my homework. G-d wants me to be rested and calm enough to serve Him. food for thought: G-d blesses us by giving us the ability to sleep in times of tribulation.