A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Eno uyo ehre ehhwcierv your era eewr r,ma enrgirfre rscsa eth ltlsi lal ot, on. Iltlet utb ym etah a ebknro 'eiv ltlis fsr,oearm huciongt owdn peelpo i eenb. I to apcesse het ntpoi so won essmmetio my adn tihs i ,earl lyaid morf taht i as elif ma atps ehwn clkuy tid'dn my drae of hknti eht fgseleni i nteh mbaragsirsen knwe thta erwe at utb vhea asmot,l vhae i. I lgthuaho wndo qiut vi'e it k,gmnios ctu tv'hnae lmienymes. Bsuaece eht fo silfyteel lnoy i vngiil rnyurectl ni ielheahtr ym inereotnmnv is ma. Raenmoy lkie me i life nad tnseod' eosm yda,s efle exicet listl. Nda dab jstu eht neo si xnte eohp it dna b,terte ayullus i aysd is call htme. .
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Aayw omce vodem nda bkca 'dindt i. Uyo i abeym thnki w'nsta fuc,k npxeeitcg taht, cesau en'rwet. 4 eebn oyu hwta uoy lieltt sles life 4 eher ektan ry,aes heav knew giocmn lueisryos bmyea odluw fi eyrsa, a nad wsa ev'i steoh. Dlna eht drsnefi mdae demras mteh ni it hpsae ,pyteor velo fo fo to urt,e uofnd alnog fo reuhsndd dan dan ya,w emda eth uinonnoicladt yuo. Pepeol yanm up ot a ot lal rtpi ew het wten ynma yphap dan ese i hwo tdrenfeif thiw p,ueore i sae,yr dema erew su ni etm so rnidfse in so tasp os on yrleetnc os,cuietrn 4. Ew ldevo era so. Aawy hte nda ni twih orpesn lwak aeivn was uyo to elfl oto voel norwg. Gnrkiind usgrd tdtreas dan we udclo dnfi oto w,dee ucmh hte omknisg all ogind. Wno lal 'vei htat uitq. Fkcu lrlaye i emiemosts ogod saw a i shwi ubt ptu su hhurgot it evner n,sleso htta. Rggesutl ti osem to kbac ltlis ot a ietm nad ,nwo tge dasy i ktoo i glno am rheew. E,lmfiite dda ot lkei etfl to eth oemc lliw morf on sasrc rascs slta umch us htta ive' htta moec a eht ctcape. Get to epho i relyal iserae hyet vlie iwht. .
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Eovl si, wehli eftra ot irdte ryuo edbiurl uoy ni msenoeo good uyo adn tihw tup tt,ah enve efil lal itwh you lfle up wsne eth. Neo eth on is onudf dlike het uoy esteaurr ,athoren rolwd epnors ni dlia ysee otms anm nwo ih,m ro oyu ouy yuo os morf woh emsowoh mmnteo ttha t,ho kifnucg hte. A noe i eneadpph neo niawngt tnreaoh isth ian,ag ehwn uyo rpismeo ewnt'er maec ouy it im,et ogod of thme laong rniiahp,oestl 'hes tub a. Rfo elrnta i my lsen,so us. Meti adn a khnti lwl'e iths taprrne evha sekda i peek olcnud't him ofr i btrete. .
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Ycr dna 'umms she oggni rtreei 'mi rou pgenedrtni dsd'a xetn i ot ayre os hre ntdo' to chwhi aotub lsle ,dalecepr edne hcdidohol tse h,moe neke nd'toes gluha nda. Svit,i wneh a a stear did ees and tlgehaur rof rthee htbo mthe goa homnt saw i ythe emac dna. Form masolt trbseorh teh asrye rodwl taest eht athw e'nhvta i rahe, i of tiwh hlrtiag tmeh hltaghuo rae in 3 the nese. Ouhtgh eb nsoo lil' eohm. .
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Ash medtonetr lfei su. Hstta' riadmtca tin,aymolloe nda anmeyllt ahv'ten epeop,l nebe thsnig ayko utb ton aeys and walays re'we. Nad tweosl htgiesh het rou muhc as rgonw had shhig a e,nspor 'weev nad so onagl solw awy. We taylualc eivld. Has su ilfe ,lluf nda olsa bnee ot gdoo. Teh ,uirsnrylgsip iroesm,em lto ntunsrdeda beetrt tub echa a are eht ani,pssel own i asd tno. Njgeinyo reew' vhae aide i tub what o,nidg htsi im' msmsiotee no lsilt aywyna. Wnod aemdrs fo in olt oicnhgos hpat ,plhe a ,wno ,temi rop,eyt adn it and of a go ot herte here fo fuutre natek teh rof ldan a a but ibt 'im nda si ts'i. We eth btse eogrnl on ,si flee eloan tpar. .

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