A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geso. .
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Lstil oen egienrrfr het era no ot, ryuo mra, reew crssa all ouy heer eiehhrcvw. A eebn lsitl leppeo utihgcon ev'i eaht tub ,emasorfr i benokr donw lttlie ym. Ttha as htsi at am to onpit wnhe ntkih mstoseeim hent eewr astl,om gfeslien i i wno so meranabgriss evah i btu iaydl heva i dni'td ,earl of ym ecpsaes yulkc i reda nekw omrf past ym teh nda the ahtt ilfe. Oigsnkm, itqu wodn vei' oughlath uct enesmyiml at'hven i it. Fo rmonivneent si my trrenlucy ni i het lyon yfitleles nligiv sucbeea ma rtelaihhe. Nymerao ecxeit elif days, esom i nda sod'ent em fele sllit ikle. Is sulluya allc i bad emht oehp ti si adsy and ustj nxet hte adn eon btt,ree. .
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I awya d'dnti mdevo ceom nda bkca. Wter'ne taws'n xgnpictee escau oyu ,htta fc,uk mbaye tkhni i. Sels adn if ehva icngom oyu yssrluieo tlielt stheo eneb iev' 4 athw life oyu yrs,ae 4 tenka eher yra,es swa baemy kwen a lowud. Suerdndh voel dmea to dan ,tpoyre fo uyo udnof doionnlcaintu ldan ti ifnsdre of and eth damsre ,uert the hpesa emht ,ywa ni ngaol fo dame. Enrdfteif fiendsr so in os enwt poplee yamn i pu lal us hitw pphay emt ew to i a euoer,p turis,cneo edma in 4 eewr eht nad ,reysa see so on rpit ot hwo ynam nrteyecl pats. So ew aer odlve. Adn wsa rnwog fell uyo nsroep ni alwk to with awya iavne eht olve oot. Het sngmoki fndi adn ucmh gndoi gdrsu e,wde lla too duolc ew nrnidkig ertdsat. That own tuqi iev' lal. Ttah oughrth asw cfuk utp ssnloe, hsiw neerv tub ti a esiemsomt yllaer i oodg i su. Ma ltlsi ti ot bkca no,w a toko ot adys gte msoe i and wrhee mtei i treluggs long. Csras add l,femieti fmro come tcpace iwll su no tsal the lfte hte hmuc ot a ot racss ttah ocme htta 'vie keil. Gte pheo ot eliv whti yteh aeylrl eersai i. .
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Neve ,si ensw up the rdleubi dteri lwehi oyu esoemon ot dna wthi ellf uoy rtaef twhi eifl tth,a ogdo oyur oyu ni ptu lla elov. Thta you eyse ear,onth lorwd uyo woh opensr dial no one fkginuc hte smot mnoetm eth iekld oyu teh mfor amn sowoemh os nwo uoy ofund is ni hmi, ,toh resraute ro. Cmea prmeois eno hsti eno tbu ti ,eloipihrnats pehepnad oyu fo nagntiw i lnago oatrenh a a thme uoy hewn newre't gdoo seh' miet, ,agina. Eos,lns ealtnr su ym for i. Itsh asked ithnk a ihm i ew'll betetr adn imte evah eepk uco'dntl i repnatr for. .
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Eodtn's ekne i dt'on ot emh,o cihwh lghua dngpnreite lerpcdae, and rou msu'm ot dan need txne ggoin otaub adsd' hre so mi' doochlidh ryea llse ehs eirret est yrc. Ese did fro oag i amec tsvii, a ehyt rates swa etmh ehetr adn boht hwen a dan mnhot lheugrta. Sttea ar,eh esen of i meht thrigal hvnt'ae 3 ni eht agtoluhh berstroh hwit teh arsye htwa form i het amtsol wdlro era. Eb omhe oons 'ill uhgoht. .
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Ifel dmentoret su sha. Ykao lo,eepp otn v'hntea adn ,iyeltoanlmo eenb awsayl syea iaarmcdt ew're nda tts'ah mlltnaey tbu ihgtsn. Sighh owls uro grwon sa nda olgan a chum elowts hihsegt sro,epn ewe'v the hda so way nad. Evdil we altlyuca. Llf,u ilef us eben dogo and has osla to. I,gpnriulrssy rtbete onw btu snurdnetda ehca ip,lasens a tlo het hte i sad s,emreomi ton era. Oennigjy erw'e anywya slitl whta ahev idea i no ,doign itsh isstmmeeo utb 'im. In a rhee hte fuuert mi,et to a of 'mi fo w,on si nad sgoihonc but tib a 'its adn a ldna it rheet l,eph fo fro hpat yt,eopr olt og rsdmea nad nekta dnow. Neglro neaol i,s fele no eth tbes arpt we. .

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