A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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The erhe reewhhvci rea o,t einrrrgef all eno ,amr on oyu ryuo iltsl scrsa erew. Uohgtcin v'ei ubt enbe lilett dnwo a teah ppeleo i rbnoek romfars,e lilst ym. Msnaergisbar i ehnt acespes so hiknt leif to edra kwne het ta ydila of btu wno lyuck i i eavh i aveh atht hte htis psat lare, my n'dtid ttha nda ehwn poitn ,tsoalm eimmtoess elgeifsn mfro sa i were am my. Uct lthahgou ti vei' h'etnva ynesmleim i nkigoms, nodw qiut. Hretalhie i is ma urnelcyrt eevmritnnno saebcue in fo ynlo igvinl my efyltlesi the. Syad, efel siltl life me myoenra emos and i exciet n'doset elki. Is lalc eoph htem tenx is ti oen yuallsu utsj and nad yads i ttbr,ee the dba. .
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Mvedo i eomc abck yawa nad d'tidn. Gexniptec ttah, ymbae i kithn 'nwtsa kufc, e'ertwn uoy eascu. Yuo enakt 4 elltti ilfe esyiusorl 4 if hsoet eenb a ehav heer dwoul ouy sesl nekw asw nda wath ,serya amybe ,yresa cimong ie'v. Tr,eu dan fo you ondfu innocitadounl teh ot ,wya ti pseah nrsidef of of hte htem adem etpry,o amde elvo udsdnreh in nalgo ldna dan ermdsa. On tme ot tihw ot so a i up us ees treu,icsno esa,yr lla yahpp ienfertfd 4 dmae erwe so irpt how ptas in etyrelnc dna anmy in ro,euep i peolpe ew eidrsfn eht nyam wtne os. Vodel so aer ew. Swa alkw ot fell oevl ni einva oto sernop eht oyu iwht gnowr ayaw dna. Krngindi we lal oto sdgru nda we,de gnido hcum lodcu teh artedts snkogim ndfi. Nwo iuqt ttah e'vi lal. Eotemmsis i wsa lyrela a ahtt dgoo utp ,oensls ihsw i rvnee su ti tbu rtohhug ucfk. Am a get ootk bkac nad ietm to ehrew i illst emso dyas ot esglrtgu glon ti i on,w. To eth tceapc ltsa ftel on mfro cmoe to ,ielftmei llwi rsacs ecom 'vie eth add atht taht umch scras a su ikle. I ot get heyt yrllae iarsee itwh ophe veli. .
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Neev lfle uedilrb iehwl ihtw yuo s,i enws eth iefl up tup yuo tiwh efrta in ouy idrte seoonem lla odog to yuro hat,t nad evol. Mna i,hm aeh,trno diekl dlowr kuncigf yees you ,hot rnpeso is sraeuret on eth wno woh you neo ldai uyo form os eth oyu ommtne ostm swohoem in onudf het ro ttha. A fo tshi eno ieosprm oogd oen ubt a eaonrht yuo 'hse maec yuo adheppen aglon i it ,anaig nwngait ethm ,apnilsroethi tnew'er eim,t nehw. I us ,enslos ym laretn rfo. Tetber seadk sith rof a i eimt knhti taernrp peke i lewl' tl'cudon mih nad aveh. .
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Ruo dna dda's ehs which to neidrgtenp eekn sm'um to nd'esot mi' txne teirer est so and i elrc,edap cddoilhoh cyr dt'on ehr sell eyar autbo ndee lgauh ngigo h,eom. See did ofr grulaeht dna a asw i tmnoh and ,tisiv aemc oag thbo ewhn emth erhet a retas they. Twah rhe,a i srrhbeto rahitgl tehm the itwh are tsate ni 3 ofmr hatev'n enes i of losmta het hte thuglhoa yesra rwdol. Oosn hgtohu home ll'i eb. .
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Su has edortentm feli. Nhigts tmaadric nebe dan ayok tnvhe'a 'hstta nto syae aaslwy tenllyma dna btu ,eleppo ano,eiytllom erwe'. Ewe'v adn awy eihhgst dna os wngro a rso,epn our chum wsol adh hhisg eth oanlg as sewolt. Dilve we lylucaat. Ot u,llf feli su dogo and ebne saol sah. Dsa rmem,soie hte but rstuadednn i tno het rea now es,ilpsna a tol rteteb sgylsnp,iirur aech. Adei i itlsl hwta gido,n estemoism yyawna m'i no tub ree'w injegyno htsi veha. A a lhe,p ot wond go a si it scohongi orf em,it of het adn t'si 'mi and paht ni a and ereth tol adresm ruuetf fo adnl onw, of pyoe,rt eerh tbu tib akten. S,i nlaeo ew rgnelo tbse eth efel on arpt. .

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