A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sego. .
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Yuo reew ot, veehcwrih ,amr aer csasr oury all no isltl eerh teh ieernrrgf eno. Liltet a lltis eeplpo ym toungihc sa,merorf thea ondw nbee i tbu krebon i'ev. Enwh sa wno ahev ot esflinge weer ma the i teh as,toml ym epseasc i aevh fo onpit i 'tidnd ta daer btu nhte i tath la,er meaginrssbra my ulkyc ewkn so lefi tish mrof i kithn dan tesmisemo apts atth dialy. Tnve'ha wdon tuqi vei' i nmlieyesm okg,mnsi glhhuato tuc it. My invlig i eleytisfl ni is eht ryctlenru tvmneiornne hreeahtil ceeubsa loyn am of. Ceietx dan slitl s'endto leif i oyenrma leik mseo ,asdy me efle. Days tberte, adn i het dna ti them uaylslu one peoh bad si utsj texn si lcal. .
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N'didt ovmde moec i aawy cabk nad. Tw'sna bymae esuac you pcgetienx iktnh ernet'w h,att i c,ukf. Lrsosuiey oyu mcigno sles fi wnek dna asrye, 4 bnee aehv emyba ouy dluwo a vi'e ielf eerh ryae,s was ektan leitlt 4 whta thseo. Poer,ty aresdm andl eadm hsape ni eht edma of gaonl ncntouinoaidl shuerdnd wy,a uoy fnirdse of ti ehmt to het dna of dan elvo t,uer fnoud. Ifdreenft so ot a us thiw tenrlecy dsifren on dan who dema to namy i nyma emt see stpa 4 pu eht i lla erwe in loepep so rpit r,eyas wnte papyh ,peueor we os in einur,ctso. Os are we odvle. Itwh nda ngorw ni waya viena uyo akwl olev esoprn lfel oto het to saw. Eth too smkigno we all tsatred inogd drsug nfid cmuh and e,ewd rgidnink dlouc. Wno iev' all uitq ahtt. Us put thta hiws uckf hthgruo a ti llyrea dogo i itsmemose i en,osls eernv ubt wsa. I tmei teg ltils i whree dna n,wo ot a emso okot ysad ot am ckba ti lngo rlugsetg. Fmro omec teh casrs su hatt ateccp a iekl to eftl e'vi imetl,ief hmcu taht to tals dad illw ascsr on teh come. Evli i thiw epho yeht teg rlelay ot rseiea. .
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Rtfea you smnoeoe wthi dan llef tth,a si, tup ni uoy ensw lief eenv hiwel iudelbr ihwt ogdo lla ot rietd vloe ruoy pu eht yuo. Earth,on euraster uyo smto noe eyes nkucgif oheowsm on uyo is in anm rsnpeo ro won ldia htta dolrw os uyo ildke you mofr oh,t eht who undfo mntmoe teh ,imh eht. Fo a rwnet'e nawtnig eamc reospim uyo ti thme odgo aing,a eno mie,t oglan a henw i ouy h'es nohrate eno nisratplieh,o pnaeedhp ubt hits. Us s,senlo i rfo atlren my. Imh a isht adesk i epek itkhn to'dlncu nad for time le'wl tbreet etarprn i evha. .
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Uor ierter i ot ot deen s'tndeo ohlhddioc os rcy next erya tobau lhgau m'i grpdeneitn m'usm a'dsd lsel est hcwih hoem, ekne dprca,eel dna adn ogngi she hre 'ondt. Nmoht ees tmeh orf i goa ehert nhew btoh aws dna si,ivt hyet a maec gehltura adn a atsre ddi. Moatsl attes fo 3 i tebsrroh tehm aer the uohglaht mfro rdlow hwit the thaw he,ra i eth hane'tv ni tiraglh yasre ense. Eomh l'il onos tughho eb. .
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Has su lfie oreemtntd. Okya er'ew nad evta'hn aeys lneymlta epp,leo a'tsht isnhtg tno dctmaari wsaaly been yiontealmol, dan ubt. Dha rgnow a as ,roesnp so yaw dan mcuh aglon ee'wv eltwso our wlos hgeitsh dna eth hhgis. Caaltluy we edliv. And to aols lul,f su efli gdoo eenb has. Otn caeh lto nwo era slnyrsugrpii, tub a moesr,mei rbteet the ads ,ssenilap dnrestadun the i. Gidn,o mi' on utb ehav llsti tmoiesmes tsih ieda twha yejinngo wree' i ywyana. Pe,hl tkena a nad own, fro a uretfu oer,ytp wndo eim,t eht ibt it's og ni i'm desamr it taph fo aldn of is a a ognhoisc to and but erhe lto nad of htree. Lfee no the bste nlgore is, patr noeal ew. .

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