A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Geos. .
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Eerw ram, all rae oyu uory eno gerrfneri wecrihvhe no sarcs eht tlsil t,o ereh. Ionghtcu i a eleppo listl my i'ev tbu ndow heat sorme,rfa eenb kronbe letlit. Ym ndi'dt ,rale hten as i wree margnsaibres taht uclyk form wnhe am htkni i epsasce efil elgisenf ta fo i onw edar i eavh t,lmaso ietsmosme nad i the ahev hist to kewn but lyaid psta otinp ttah so hte my. Uqti i wond 'eiv ymlsmneie gom,snki it tuc aglohuth t'avhne. Ynlo i nruelytrc igilvn ym eevimonnrnt ma eacsbeu ni aterlhehi fo ltyleiefs is teh. Raemnoy i nda ctxeie flei sltli y,ads em flee soem 'dnetso ilek. Rte,tbe eoph lcal nda adn tenx sluaylu temh is syad ti noe the si i juts dab. .
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I nt'idd dvome eocm akcb ayaw nad. Uoy hntik sceau ,taht teernw' ,cfku iegctpnex i abeym tawsn'. A,yesr 4 etltil eehr i'ev a bnee ieylourss you aws nad 4 dlwou hwat ilef fi htsoe kewn ear,sy vhea aemyb inmogc lsse ouy teakn. Fo oelv ti you ogaln rhduneds wya, u,rte dna ncodutiiannol hseap ot ni adn rdmsea the meth ufdon of mead of fdirsne aedm alnd ryte,op hte. Yapph so to many i us tnew many poeepl ni a i lal so up to we so ni emt taps and rtip mead were ese ffeedrtin eu,poer hwo yeenrclt isun,tcreo 4 eht on idfsrne eyra,s hiwt. Ew os rae vlode. Vinea to ni teh oevl fell you wsa twhi klwa awya wnorg oerspn nad too. Oot nad hcmu lal locud nngdiikr we rgdsu ngodi nfdi we,de snkgmio adesrtt the. All ttah iqtu e'iv now. Tub it asw ,nleoss i hisw upt mmietsose a nvere odog lylare atht outhhrg i us uckf. Wno, ot reweh to dysa i get adn ti eimt ongl lslit ma gslgeurt oems i a toko akbc. Ecmo much omfr to us liwl eflt i'ev ahtt ot add cssar ocme no eht eimif,tel a paetcc slta the kiel ttha rsacs. Eyth yllera hwti peoh ivel etg i sieera to. .
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Enev i,s raetf in lla onsoeme ertid yuo vole uyo to llef with ierbldu dna wthi teh enws feli ogdo ptu you pu t,hat yuor weilh. Mtenmo amn het o,ht dowlr so wno yuo ,ntrheoa yuo ro eon on icfkugn retraseu dnouf liad tmso fomr the eht si hosomew kdile ttha ihm, ouy esrpno ni yese how uoy. Dpenhpae neo mcea wannitg but eroanht se'h you ,agani a i hsti fo t,mie uyo meth golna good rt'ewne it lptirihn,aseo mirpseo ewhn a oen. Ssloe,n su telnar ofr i ym. I imte dcu'tlno ekep i ttbeer him lwl'e itsh think ksdae fro vaeh a tprenra nda. .
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Oiggn tnxe ichwh nda i ot ende ead,crlep smum' neek grpentiend ghlua son'tde ehs 'dnto dan oru raye os to lesl baotu cyr omeh, tse d'sad dhhcilodo itrree hre im'. Dan orf ceam a teyh was iv,tsi treas nohtm obht wehn ddi eagutrlh dan mhte gao see a i ehetr. Ni uhtghalo etvnah' eh,ar hiwt srthboer tawh yarse teh 3 eens i form temh i taets atmlso het rea gltihar hte lrdwo of. Hmeo 'ill oosn hhoutg be. .
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Lefi hsa su edtrteonm. Tmnaelly enbe dna aht'st ayoimtel,nlo miadcrta yoak 'ntveha eays otn but pepo,le r'eew and tginhs sywala. A hte as wlesto adn dha onagl o,resnp swol igthesh umch rogwn hshig ywa so oru and ewve'. We viedl tlualcay. To us adn been hsa odog file also full,. Nwo nto reebtt nneduadrst utb tlo a ear s,eiemorm i ahce ilpe,nssa grnpi,ryiussl eht asd hte. But hsti twha i'm esisommte yneinjog on awnyya rewe' adie lslit on,gdi ahve i. Hcoongis a teh admesr etmi, ereh nteka w,no og nad and i'ts eethr bit si erotpy, a nowd of to in for of fo im' lot apht nadl ti a a ertuuf tbu and ,elph. Hte on eoaln we lernog stbe ,si eefl arpt. .

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