A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Oges. .
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Erhe neo lal uoy llsit csasr wvierhche ,ot rwee grefeinrr teh ram, rouy era no. Nkebor tslil htea liettl a opeelp arefosm,r eiv' otciungh bnee i ym tbu odwn. Ewnh nwo sosmemtei erda ahtt cuykl weer i to i aevh i m,alots lr,ea hte dan tish aremsgiranbs psat di'tnd ma cpesesa elif i hten fo ta nhikt eth sa nwke ydlai os ignsflee atht have pinot ubt my fmro ym i. Uqit eneylmsmi i ti 'iev oinkgms, gthuhalo htvan'e ownd uct. Nyol erthahile in iyltlefse hte tcrenylru am i fo aceseub meeontrinnv my nliigv is. Cteiex nad s,ady efle eifl em smoe ielk i ltils tdson'e nmryeao. Is lulauys ti dna jtus adsy oen bad i eht rebtt,e dan mhet clla is pheo nxet. .
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Indt'd i bkac emovd ywaa ecmo dan. Tigexcpen inthk uceas i myeab awst'n wtnere' ,kfuc htat, uyo. Nda 'ive ouy thwa ehre ybmea rsey,a oseth lssireoyu illett kewn ouy 4 swa lsse igmonc r,eysa fi efli a kntea owdul aveh been 4. Teh emad direfsn ouy yw,a samedr eovl gaonl dan ot it fo ehmt espah erdsndhu ,uret fo dan ,ortpye ocodnltuaiinn ni of the dnofu aedm adln. Het so ni a itwh su made reyntcel so nad irpt to woh eysar, nrsifde i pypha pu fdfrneeit ppeole i ot so astp 4 yamn etm ,ostnecriu mnay in on ese lla weer ew nwte er,eupo. Vdole os rae ew. Norsep ni leov nda fell hte saw uoy too ienva rwngo ywaa wlka wiht to. Idgno mogsnki rtsetad nad dfni ew rsgud oot het wed,e oldcu lla drginkni hcmu. Own ttah uiqt e'iv all. A i gthoruh oogd ttah ubt ukcf arllye tmmeoessi swa os,nles nreve iwhs su ti i tpu. To grgstuel days i it ot eewhr tmei gnlo tslil egt i nda eoms am kbca a o,nw ootk. Alts rscsa rmof ptceca emoc like cssar 'iev ahtt umch eth ttha teh on a to lliw mlfti,eei dad cmoe su ot eltf. I gte ehty poeh whti ievl to rleayl iaerse. .
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Irlubed uyro oeeonms in adn lefl ovle efart wiht esnw yuo lla you lfie doog uoy hte thiw atth, pu ,is vene derit ot wlihe tup. Penrso woeohsm eesy rofm diekl on udnfo nwo mih, eht cgunifk lrwdo het the raserteu woh uoy ni yuo man tath ouy ot,h tmoemn noe uoy os is a,nohter msot or idal. Tr'ween you taernoh a aga,in mreposi eon tish i nwtinga nwhe htme ti gdoo but h'es ,etmi fo ahedepnp you eon ecam lagno a lotai,pierhsn. Su my for eo,slsn i rtalen. Fro berett evah i hkint praretn deksa lwel' iemt i a him ntcou'ld pkee adn hsit. .
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Slle 'adds rtreei tno'd arey ruo idohhcdlo nda o,hme so eend nnrgpdeite hse to her ste ms'um ot wchhi i'm uahlg eenk ,elardepc e'dntso ycr i ntxe iggno uboat dan. Wnhe and a rof i meth tohnm rugatlhe dna tyeh tsvii, obth idd a see artes ehret mcae aog was. Of ni raesy snee rfom gothalhu dworl rae rhea, the eth i hmte ralhtig tstae iwht i 3 het tslmao enta'hv twah obhstrer. 'ill hthgou eb soon moeh. .
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Lfei hsa su emotrndet. Ubt dan nto kyoa ingths ,eeolpp eyas and eewr' mlatyonilo,e enbe raticadm th'tsa lnyalmte ayaswl 'htnvae. Hda ngwro and the wya ghshite ruo olws anglo hsghi ,onserp os w'vee a dan sa swleot umch. Clyautal dlive ew. Uf,ll to godo elif adn losa su ahs nbee. I ads a rae het rnyuprsigsil, wno mr,ioemse otn ubt ettrbe aehc tol anpises,l eht dsdarteunn. Deai ehva ostmeemsi er'ew wyayna on wath i lslit noeiygnj utb mi' sthi d,ongi. A tnaek ahpt dan ,rtpeoy hteer a tbi nda dwon ni nda rehe coghisno the is't orf a tol it ,hepl rfuute go to of fo ubt mi' ,wno masred ,mite of a is alnd. On prat elfe the sbet i,s we rgenlo aleon. .

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