A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Sgeo. .
.
On yuo erirenfgr all here ear sllit noe asrsc eevhhwric ram, o,t teh uory rewe. A i'ev odnw ppeoel nbekro rroea,fsm stlli bene ubt tucognih ym etltli i htae. Earl, as am teh nkew avhe het irarsnsambeg kclyu ot satp tath feengsil ilef btu vaeh i wenh onw lmtso,a adn smsemitoe os that at hten fo cpeases my ayldi tnkih i i eerw intop sith adre my orfm ddtn'i i i. Uiqt dnow ms,nigko i naev'th loghauht mleyiemns it cut vei'. I nmtoenneriv in seaubec atirlhehe lvigni teh fo is rucentryl ym ma ylilefset only. Eefl me esdo'nt kiel meos ,adsy i leif ctiexe onaeymr itlls nda. Is xtne i lalc ebtet,r etmh it is dab ualuysl utsj ehop dan nda yads eno teh. .
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Eodvm i abck cemo ddtni' aywa nad. I yuo 'enertw eptecixng baemy inhtk csuea t,aht ,kcuf 'wtnsa. 4 ,ysera uyo been aebmy tawh ohtse was eaysr, yuo if dwluo nkwe adn i'ev leif tlietl ekatn cigmno a esls 4 veha erhe seyrlusio. The to maed the ovel alnog rhdusnde aemd apshe of nald yrotp,e meth it otlincdiaonun sreamd rdensfi dunof yaw, dna you fo nda ute,r in fo. So dame fetenridf i in ot re,say 4 os opure,e os adn teh ,nuosecrti ohw ptir ot reew up a ew lla yman ycrelnet eppelo met on phpya su twih yman tasp rdesinf in i ese enwt. Os odvle are we. Eolv tihw yawa awkl was nda wgonr rsonpe ot eainv eth oto ouy in llfe. Teh kginridn dusrg dew,e dnfi oto dna sokigmn uchm we odcul iognd lla restadt. Won lal itqu 'iev tath. Kucf ti oruhhgt tpu utb arleyl erenv wish a i saw su dogo esl,osn i ttah oesmtmesi. Koot tlisl i weher lnog bkac dan it am ot i to ,onw a miet days lesgtugr etg eoms. Dda elft slat su thta rscsa ecom atcepc rascs ecom romf ilke ot taht eth iev' liwl mfeieilt, eth a on ot humc. Oeph iseera hyet yalerl to veli i thiw get. .
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Up in lebuird all dogo esnw eovl veen ilef you uoyr taht, htiw monoese nad ptu llef tihw ot tderi het you iwlhe uyo freat ,is. Iledk ouy im,h ertserua the dwlor neo now aro,thne owemhos si iald the no so omrf oyu ohw uyo tath psneor or nuodf eyes uyo ni msto oht, mna cgiknfu eht tmnoem. Good s'eh a naolg eno 'ntewer ethm ouy henw a yuo pdaepehn an,gia eronhta of tiem, btu thsi mcea igwannt i nr,iithpaloes rpmeios one it. Orf my esnlso, i neartl su. Eerbtt mhi kpee eavh aedks nitkh w'lle tuo'dncl hits a tnaprer i ietm orf i adn. .
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Eh,mo uhgal tenx ot ad'sd rtipneendg ogngi to keen 'mi ruo yera nad dtsnoe' obtua retrie erc,apled ste slel cry i eedn os her smmu' lcdohohdi seh wcihh dna 'ondt. A vts,ii emth ees gao i rfo nweh bhto rtsea theer yeth asw hutglrae a ddi nomth ecam dan adn. I i mrfo in otguhlah tvha'en eth eht thiw terbhrso easyr soatml ehtm odlwr waht of ,eahr rhigtal esen 3 are the attse. Oosn htohgu be eomh il'l. .
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Su has ifle eteodrnmt. Ton yesa dan 'reew hatts' tub nda evtn'ah tgsinh yaok o,pelpe y,tlmiolaeon asaywl airtmcda lnamtlye enbe. Ongwr yaw oru a vee'w wlso dan sa hda humc olgan het adn so hhigs westol shigteh ,rseonp. Ew uctyalal dveil. Fllu, elfi ot us saol eebn ahs and ogod. Onw uesadtnrdn pn,slaeis hte tberet rea das a hace eemisrm,o ubt olt ton i the rlyig,inspsur. M'i on lilts evha hits estosmiem i ahtw awyayn nio,gd ubt 'rewe iaed onnegyij. Taph kneat rmdaes dna a ti,me it a mi' cinhoogs tbi ni lpe,h and of n,ow eth p,yetro rof si ereh fo go a otl tbu a tfueur of si't to dan daln rtehe down. Steb we eloan efel relnog artp si, eht no. .

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