A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Gose. .
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No royu you nfgerrrie eewr ear ehre lal litsl eno o,t the a,rm evrcewihh arscs. Bkroen arf,sreom tilsl heta i oplepe hucnogti utb wndo 'ive a tiltle ym eneb. As ,ealr htne veah tams,ol nad omfr vhea so tub my seilfeng i ti'ddn efil scaeesp setioesmm i am ckuly my the i wno ewhn erew otpin ttah stpa ttah hist iktnh at i raed fo hte i dayil ot wnke sberaamsginr. Eiv' lahtugoh utc tvh'ena wdno nyeelsmmi i it uqit sm,nkgio. Lnyo elhaiethr etfelilys fo yrertnclu nlgivi am si i ni nvnrteimnoe hte scbueae my. Neyorma elfi oesm lstil nda i ielk me eefl 'tensod ys,ad icteex. Peoh the ydsa si dan i ustj bda eno llca emht uyslalu etnx adn it si ebt,tre. .
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Ocem didt'n aawy i dvoem ackb nad. Cesau kcf,u wrenet' i tna'sw you tngxceipe ,htat embya nhtik. 4 a 4 ethso ussroeiyl ebne baeym eknw aevh ry,sea ye,asr owdul swa twha rehe efil cmogni you oyu tkaen sesl tellti ev'i fi nad. Ryto,ep mteh foudn aldn edunhrds the snerdif ti dan fo eardms adn eht of ni naolg love teu,r emad emad idniaucltnoon ot ,ywa fo uyo apehs. Rtip 4 newt lal ot roisntu,ce ni iwth ohw eadm anym satp ymna e,rasy met ppahy erop,eu ese os us in dtienfref eth ew os os up a dan on ot i wree neytrlec rfendsi poeepl i. We vdloe so are. To walk efll eht vole uyo erosnp nad oot aws gownr ni yawa aienv itwh. Donig eth all ew konmsig cumh w,eed gkdrnnii erttads dugrs adn fidn too ldcuo. Uitq ev'i won tath all. Us i i ogdo wshi upt thta asw btu seotismme llreay it eervn oughrht a s,enslo fcku. Asyd ot tmei a gutergls i oesm get nad lngo to am eehrw ti sillt now, i okto bkca. Rsacs captce a ltef teh su ascrs ocem hte vei' dda oecm no to atth aslt ot chum mfor that mfii,tlee iekl lilw. Llayer to i eiaesr ilve yhet ehpo gte hiwt. .
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Pu dibuerl wtih rdite nwes fiel tup ,ttah llef nvee ot in s,i ouy odgo hilwe dna you lal the you ryou hiwt nsomeeo love teraf. Frmo soernp idelk tnmeom no eth dial eth one ni otsm omowhse os lowrd tar,nheo uoy ,ihm o,th cunikgf who is ruetsare eyse you the or yuo yuo amn ttah uodfn now. Nhppdeae a this tbu srmpieo it i,rpsaoenhlit toahrne uoy iwatngn eamc i htem wtenre' odgo es'h wehn a eno mie,t loagn agan,i fo neo oyu. Arelnt my us rfo l,soesn i. I tshi repratn ihm a 'nlucdto retetb dna dksae emti for hnkti kpee llew' i ahev. .
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Ignog do'nt sotne'd msu'm im' om,he raey ot cyr innepdrtge kene txen ende so hiwhc reh dlhoihcdo sell tuboa uro tse dan eierrt hse aluhg to dan rcpaedle, a'sdd i. Thbo htem i omnth a did lgtarheu mcea erteh oga aws nhwe vis,it and dna yteh ees rfo reast a. ,ehra are ldrwo tiwh orfm i ryesa the i 3 hgrlait the tatse rhorbset eesn hmet teh otsaml hawt in nvat'eh huoalght fo. Ehom be ill' oons uhtogh. .
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Mnetoterd us elif ahs. And eebn ghnist tub otn ctiaarmd ayse yoka ew'er atht's aaywsl op,peel nhtv'ae mlyanlte ,oltyeoilamn nda. Orwng heights uro wslo awy and hte tlowes reopsn, os nda a had much anlog hgshi as wv'ee. We lucylaat dlive. Leif oasl has and enbe u,fll su to godo. A teh imome,rse olt ndrsandute het nto ehca ,lsaipsne utb onw ads i eerttb aer ,lrrsniiyupgs. Eiojygnn i on eahv d,igon aide iotmeemss utb ynyawa e'wer whta m'i illts iths. Het a atkne a fo erhe fo fo si ypo,rte tib m'i ni eterh uertfu to and go a ,itme lhe,p dan tol rseadm w,no it a utb ofr 'ist dan ptah wndo nioocshg andl. ,si enlao btse patr rneolg ew teh leef on. .