A letter from July 31st, 2018

Peaceful right?

Hello. This night a year ago you were violently kicked out from your only safe place in this world and your heart broke. It was around this time you made that really obvious cut on your arm that no one even asked you about. Has the scar faded at all? It was a time filled with so much sadness and crying in public places and late nights trapped in cigarette smoke. This night right now you are filled with overwhelming sadness. The career you fought so hard for just a year ago is now something you can't wait to throw away. You couldn't keep your promise to quit smoking and you haven't gotten any healthier. You are feeling so alone right now and you are so scared of the future. Something snapped within you and nothing excites you anymore. I pray that all this has changed. Hopefully you are still surrounded by the people who mean the most to you. Are you finally doing something good for the ones who need it more? Have you fallen in love and maybe had your heart broken again? Have you travelled to new places and collected stories you will never stop sharing? You recently came back from a trip to Taiwan. I want to remind you of your last night there, when we sped up the mountain on motorbikes and drank coffee to the sounds of our own laughter. I hope life has been kind enough to bless you with more good memories like these, too many to count. I hope your parents are finally getting the retirement they so deserve in a place they love. Is Mama finally back home with her favourite breakfast, the farms and the wet market? Are your brothers doing alright for themselves? My wish for you now is that life does not torment you. That the ruts you find yourself in are shallow and you grow immensely as a person. If you are reading this, hopefully you are laughing at how the years between us has made the sad memories almost painless. I have no idea what I'm doing in life but maybe you do. That's all I need right now to keep going.

Epilogue

3 months later

Hello!

It's us again. Reading this made me smile, then made me cry again. I'm finding it very difficult to find the words to reply to this, but here it...

Osge. .
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Rgenrrief ar,m uyor were vwcheeihr all one ssacr rae teh heer ,ot sllti no uyo. Erbkno a ielttl dwon vei' nebe tilsl utb htae a,fmesrro ym intcouhg i eplepo. Ecpsase vahe wno file ta ot i ewre nad os lsfgieen fo i tpion i d'tind i ra,el enht fmro my ewnh enkw eht i eard ma yluck eavh dyail ttha btu my t,asmol sa atth het omstmisee this tpas htnki rsnsabirgmae. Ntev'ha mknigos, it uitq cut aholuhtg ei'v enimyelsm dwno i. Ehaehlrit nnnoteremiv in lony ubaesce hte elltisefy fo ma urreytlnc si ym inlgvi i. Tisll maryeon semo dna me ,sayd cexiet dnso'et i feel iekl life. Entx abd is i poeh nda it the one si ebtet,r acll mhet dyas dna layulsu ustj. .
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Aawy vdmoe i akbc 'dntdi come nda. Ntikh ybame uf,kc uaces uyo ngcpextei i rne'wet att,h a'twns. 4 ayebm ve'i etohs kwen nda ttleli hwat ouy olrsiuesy inmogc udlow etkan reeh hvea asw s,eray esls fiel a if neeb 4 uoy s,eayr. Nad yertop, temh hte uter, in admesr eadm laogn you of nseidfr oelv to udnehsrd of aepsh iindaolnotnuc and emad hte land wy,a of ti fnduo. Teecrnly who us rsenfid see i myna ot ppyha i hwit dan a os to up r,yaes pelope we 4 eti,nrcosu emad teh os tpas all endeiftrf ni etm so on ,puoeer rpti rwee in nyma entw. We are so dlveo. Was grwon too ot anvie kalw rosnep het whit ni yuo fell evol dan waya. Oto teh umch rnignkdi e,dew ew udsrg duolc osngikm nifd ogndi adn all aderstt. Ive' lla quti now ahtt. Vneer i i senls,o siwh lyrale good kcuf imotessem hatt tup tub asw ti a otuhhgr su. I gsegltru toko dna ot eoms adys egt am miet a nwo, lstli ti ogln ehwre ot i bkca. Etlf a keli alst omfr mhcu htta ctpace eth us lilw ascsr no ot meiefl,ti dad v'ei to ttha moce ocem the scsar. Eyrall i irseae ot etg teyh ohpe ithw vlei. .
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Lla si, oogd flle enve ot velo irdet iwhle htiw ruoy and ouy hte tafer ithw in oyu ouy tha,t put wnes flei pu oemsnoe bedruil. Hte neo mhewoso ahtt os noeat,rh i,mh ufdno ni mmeton you or rfmo si ufigknc nma hte uyo ieldk owh rodwl eprons hto, syee ouy nwo lida euersrat oyu teh on smot. Hs'e meca yuo of hwne ig,ana glona a tbu tmhe one enterw' tshi oyu inantgw it rmspeoi ,temi ni,roaihtespl anephped dogo i onhrate a eno. I ym laentr fro su le,ossn. Lwel' eaptnrr sith a i hmi udn'tocl meit vaeh dna tkihn ekpe rfo i esakd retteb. .
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Dan 'ntodse erh slel tnenedrgpi etnx ot s'dda em,ho rtriee os cyr mi' su'mm ened gigon hchwi adrcl,eep eken i oubat chloddohi eary ot hse to'nd nad oru est glauh. I ersta aog siivt, hnwe a ofr ees etyh cmea a rthee ehtm nad idd swa mhnto lergauth nad tboh. Talsom sene hetbsorr sraey i eth whta i the in staet eht 'nvheat them aerh, rae gthuohal whti world mrfo fo 3 hiragtl. Hemo noso hguoht eb ll'i. .
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Hsa life dtmoeertn su. Rtdiamca histng asyawl oepel,p eays wre'e adn nehtv'a st'ath nad tmyalnle koya not utb bnee toyloel,naim. Much and os way ahd spnr,eo sa ghhis rou lwos a toeswl ewe'v hstiehg teh owrng and naogl. Eldvi aacuyllt we. Bene ull,f to oogd lief olas ash us dna. Tlo rea eht tunsandedr ache tub rtebet pesn,sail i sirunrslpygi, a sad won otn hte ,omrimees. Vhae im' ahwt ommtissee tbu iaed oejyignn eerw' do,gin aynwya ihst i no sitll. Fo sgihonco athp mi' imt,e a fo og eehr no,w to lot ni is ehert of i'st e,lph odwn btu rfo enakt tib nad ti het yp,orte etfuur a a adnl adn ardsem a dna. Ew eelf the gonerl enola s,i no trap steb. .