A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Htat !own + as lwli do a enaïv fiev i uyo os seyar to sseug icapemnd lgobla. .
.
Rtehtweeas on rnlgoe ma i hsjo ym with rpoesil: hhig ooclsh. Eht i uadgeatr bhot to dm--ea dcdeedi my alst in hspnoletirai orf us hhiwc ahev locdu ,lohcso sbet oru sinicdeo of up neded bengi of edn yanillf aery i. Ew toreh ujst we retgthoe rcdenilbyi tirgh rfo nad n'trewe aphypnu heac weer. Vhe'ant gdion nwo i sekpon ehpo es'h ellw ot syrae ni him ubt eerth i. .
.
Rermiad i na rfe;din rpta i im' saw ym asw enwh eolsipr ersya bforee enmaarg a ii: tlaluyac rmltaaw won to tbes he adn ta intenr emt onoeems. Adn mesesagd het "___ we a on clcssia ngiadt i pap l"aawmtr? sirft rmfo hmi was odentneercc tihgn. Svwo htat dende ym aols ahesrp a giddewn pu in. .
.
Boj 3 ym tagrduea fo hiisfn uot )!!!( ot uotba i fo hcloso raey trsfi ma. Tcfa cetecapd i'm to rotanhe is ypa eneltrcy sillt a htat i aseir niinsitcfag itionpso grtnyi eth rcesops thta. .
.
Ni i oudwl teh up elif; nniheppga ta ogesdons up did i ned ttha hntka uhtthgo tacf nto edn hatt scdeenire aahh. .
.
Y,eha oh esret'h yan awy sikd soon in gahivn 'im meit lehl no. I od 'its nda eon in this a o?nymeco! if aevh edon dcihl,. .
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Wsa lo,as gtirh rdisathyb me toaub i atsp amyeorn my raec taubo gt:nhi t'nod neo. Ma ot ahve i i teh how obuat emit hlaf lod kthni. .
.
Ihts yrorw em atohenr ot of rtap g,nagi gntyri rpat ilstl has em tauob ti mrbecea btu is fo. Eag omsce isodwm tfeuglra dan ihtw which ady ifle ma epeecrexni ervey fro i. I tnratisg ntoice rgynuoe selmminye race iktnh fo ciwhh ot sa hestor i gtlduserg hiwt that ma me lses a wath utoba i manow. Skcu lilw fi igr"esn ltisl oemr iefl eigbn esvnte utb i lieltt eetncr antpiet rea uoy eb tle hte to bti; em oe"osnl ta eiatpnt ot a cgnhaeit og nda. .
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Sthi pohe stpra htat in see rdae stih anc fo nda sreoth hsmleeestv i. Rwteo otymls rsea;y eesmimn twhrgo moes eicsn dan iestm stamol lad-2-2yoer sa eetrlt my ym fitcdlifu mrpvdoei feiv eiv' erew eifl in rftis a utb hsacgen ysaltv eeereicnxdp i has. Oseth sti' ghhuott woh ciptdsnroei nlap i otu lsomat yfnun to ti caem w)w(!he tenadw and luwdo ym wya oen fo noen lypa tuo and feil teru. .

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