A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

+ wno! ouy ot usesg seary a sa os do efvi ttha i lgaobl ïaenv ilwl iadecpnm. .
.
Am hjso reahweetst soohcl i gihh on geronl lepi:ors ym twih. Cddedei eednd fo hoso,lc oru wichh in ym loduc pu i of yrea i anfllyi stbe hte psehaorniilt fro hbot aurtagde -dea-m su csdenioi edn ltas to bgnei evha. Ewer ighrt for we dan ujts e'rentw hace yphapnu ohrte ew erhtetgo bneilrcyid. Mih ubt teehr s'eh i anhv'te i ehpo to opsenk aerys onw diogn lelw in. .
.
And eitnnr esyar eh ebfeor a gmeaanr onw i ridn;fe mi' hwne saw rdeiram etm mtarwla ii: na was ot ym estb seoomne lposeir at laaulcyt part i. Hntig hte accilss i ormf we tsfir a adn atw?lr"ma hmi saw dintga no app _"__ dgeessma cnternceoed. Htta ni up vows saol sahper ewddgni ndeed a ym. .
.
Of bjo lhcoos to am 3 risft fo i tgaardeu utboa arey )!(!! my tou sinhif. Tygirn htat isltl fact i pya ptoonisi hte ahtt haerotn a is 'mi dtceepac ycelrent iasre ot cgniafinits crspseo. .
.
Thank hhogttu ni tath ecnrieeds edn up sseodgon i ahah flei; i nto pu thta hnegnapip teh idd ta ned fatc luwod. .
.
Dski oh 'im onos aehy, ayw meti no se'erht vhgina nya in hell. Ts'i if sith vaeh deon ni i od a noe ecoo!my?n chdil, dan. .
.
Aws tbaou lsao, g:nith don't yhdtisbar i rcea ym atbuo em psta eon gthri meynaor. Nhkti tauob i lhaf teh hwo to i ldo tmei aevh am. .
.
Ecrmaeb fo but of ,giagn hist it rtpa prta hroeatn ot si em me sltli btuoa grinty ryorw sah. I wihhc eeexirpnec am life lgtrfeua aeg veyre ihtw ocsme adn yad osmdiw rof. I with aobtu hwat ygeuonr reac kinht htta ertosh i mawno chwhi tnoice rdsugeltg ssle fo ntasritg ot as ma a me i emmelnisy. Aniecthg og btu netrce ntvees and rome ta bi;t ot to ksuc ilslt i if a rea "ngiesr ouy tiletl peaintt gbine lonoe"s elt paintet eth eb illw em eifl. .
.
Hetrso of eessmvhetl sthi trspa ees ni dan i nac rdae peho hatt stih. Simemne icdenxepeer in l2-redoya-2 smtoal ftrsi ghtrow weer ahs tomsly btu csgehan cluitdfif sa feil ceisn mtsie i'ev a dan ym my ylatvs rmiopdve i trowe fvie es;rya emos rtleet. I unfny how cdeisiopntr tou wya mcea my nda aply it lfei pnla sit' e(h!ww) ohtes uot ot hhgtotu dan smtoal noen noe uetr udlwo of dnatwe. .

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