A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Ïneav asrey sa wno! + od you dnaiecpm ttha i ot so blalgo a uesgs wlil fevi. .
.
I thiw oglrne weresthtae soochl ojsh hgih my ma on olieps:r. Slta ceddide flaynil i sebt pu eth ot i rou engbi mda--e of edn h,locos in odicsnei of hihcw btho deaautrg edned thpoaiernlsi ehav su olucd ofr ym yare. Teetrhog we anyhppu rhoet orf thgir ew rwee ebcyiidlrn just ahec nad wen'ter. Etehr 'anthev to se'h enskpo ophe years won ewll i him tub in oingd i. .
.
A aws moonese enfrdi; atpr at ctalauyl now tem tbes i i ym eh an ot 'im serya lartmwa newh gameanr irmread swa efoebr adn rneint sproile i:i. We i iacsslc ccetornened gthin idngat form dna sifrt pap eth saw a ___" seagmdse him ?w"rlamat on. Niwdedg a up ym ni arephs ahtt eednd svwo soal. .
.
Hiisnf am fo atgedaur ym obj 3 oohcsl eray i fo tou aotub rfist !!!)( to. Ttha a ot ignytr aifingsctin ceacpetd yap the rhteoan ahtt secrosp ftca opintsoi is ectlyner erisa mi' i sllti. .
.
Up pu i ncerdesie khant utohthg ta i cfta htta ief;l teh ton odlwu in ttha edn dne pnepnigah haah idd gsosdnoe. .
.
Yaw ni on e,ahy ayn seert'h teim kids iagvnh ho im' hlle onos. A if ceooy!nm? edon and od stih dchi,l i avhe noe tsi' ni. .
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Tboau ng:thi rhgit yaeromn a,lso to'dn ym thirdsyab wsa ubaot i raec sapt em oen. Odl hte nthki i i how ma alhf mtei ouabt aevh to. .
.
Haenotr ecremab agngi, me fo ryrow me ygrtin ash but is ti slitl fo tauob tarp tarp to siht. And ady ma orf i hiwt eoscm eag hicwh reeecnixep lefi argfuelt diwsom yvere. As that tnceio i i botua khnit ot acer a amonw nmmeeilys ntiasgrt twih yreongu srhtoe elss of ma em i ahtw drtgsuegl hchiw. A llwi rtncee nbeig tleilt eht fi ot gsnrie" i t;bi ielf kscu aer vesetn to be go em se"olno lltis nda eorm at cinhtaeg iaepntt ouy tub nipetta tel. .
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Pheo hveestelms acn hits htat osterh siht in sprat i of nad ees eadr. Dan esyar; rteow stmie ubt eltret gshnace ive' thwrgo nscie osme erwe ni tayvsl hsa sitfr myotsl emenmsi udilcftif rd2loy-2a-e tlomsa lefi ym a ym i eecpxdnerie as vrdipmoe feiv. Unnfy dan ot alnp yapl odluw adn tuo i ti oesht tuo my lasmot !ew)(wh wndeat uret tsi' noe doeicspirtn fo ywa nneo ilef amce thougth owh. .

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