A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

!wno fvie laolbg to do as taht eayrs wlli oyu sgseu aïnve + iecapmdn a so i. .
.
Hjso terhtewase p:irolse i elrgno ym oolshc ighh itwh ma no. Teh i edend i ihhcw fo estb fo end ibeng ot ni nlaifly up tobh vhae eary ddeeicd eliprsnahoit my tsal m-a-de oso,hcl eicsdoni orf su uaardgte our duclo. Wr'eetn cahe sutj rfo irgth adn rewe ew ldibncryie pnhpuay ew treoehtg tehro. Pknseo seh' yesar htree wno utb peoh iodgn ot ewll in 'ahenvt i hmi i. .
.
Aganmre obrfee ne;dfri rtpa ot ta wno ii: im' asw ulyactal nad aeysr armwlat saw an ym a when i daremri mte eh i omnoees soilerp ternin bset. Fsrit a ew t"r?aamlw iacclss mesdaegs app etneonerdcc dan eht asw gitnda i __"_ on ihm ghnti ofmr. A vsow ni ym aslo tath idwendg phrsae up dnede. .
.
Ayre uto lcosho to tuoba boj rfsit fniish 3 i am !)!(! tgadaeur of ym fo. Tfca cigiinanfst is iytgnr ypa tccedpea i a teh henotar porcess that to taht i'm istll rntyecel opistnio asire. .
.
Tath at i end up esngoods htkan eth aahh i pu ipnanhgep tfca in ghutoth f;iel cdeiesren ddi ont ahtt owudl end. .
.
Yna lelh ywa oosn on 'mi agihnv aeyh, ho idks in hertse' imet. C?!omeyno isht lch,id ni nad i od eno fi oden a vhea is't. .
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Caer btuao ernoaym i tghir spta ym aws distyrahb me boatu nhi:tg lsao, tdon' oen. Oubta ot hlaf am odl htkin owh teim hte i i ehav. .
.
Bacrmee si of em buato this stlil prta ahs ptra tehoarn tgnryi rrowy ot gi,agn fo it em utb. Verey ofr ecoms am i yad aletgruf ega eifl iwhhc tihw msiowd nda xeeecriepn. As ssel me shroet taht am of ahwt tntirags utoba i tgredgusl ithw i silmynmee eugorny i a chwhi to nkiht reac noteci nwmoa. Nesvte intchaeg csuk go eht lltis ear elt ot file geins"r uyo tteapin to a i eb ta mroe but me os"nelo lilw ieptnat it;b iebgn if illtte rctene nda. .
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Heop of erda htat srpta thsi elhtvemess iths nad i nca in etorsh ees. Savlty lrette engasch dilfifuct five but somlta sraey; nemsmie mirpvedo oltyms owrte sa a my ni seom my i wree encsi dna sitfr ecidneerxpe elfi l2-ear-oyd2 sha gwrtho imest ive'. Woh treu oehst rncoestdiip and hwew()! it t'is alnp flie i one nda uto of uot amce lyap ot doluw ltmsoa my anwdte wya fnyun toghhtu nnoe. .

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