A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Htat uegss anïev a eysra as od miecdnap + uoy i fvei to os ilwl w!on glbola. .
.
Hiwt hhgi hslcoo eshreatwte am oplsir:e ohjs elnorg ym i on. ,loosch tliinseporha us eidoscin egibn i den to tboh in up rof of yrea tebs ndede doclu fyanlil our my of iwhhc i tgaerdua ae-md- teh hvae alts eicdedd. Dna nyppuha etrgetoh ew ofr rghti 'erentw ew ehca lydibicner weer torhe tusj. Own he's rehte snekop him in v'tahen syrea utb lwle ot i i dgion ehpo. .
.
Onmesoe ;fnrdei oelisrp esbt reyas at adn a won :ii met ntiren wsa ym i i ratp aamltwr feoebr eamgarn tauclaly to an mdiearr he hwen 'mi wsa. The imh lcscsai ignht ftisr ppa gintad emadessg a swa dan neeetcdonrc ew rfmo i taalm"rw? no ___". Ededn my ndwdige ni epsahr a hatt up loas wsvo. .
.
Eary of obaut lhsooc stfir uto earudagt iishfn !!(!) 3 to fo my i jbo am. Iytgnr cspores lrnceyte si fatc ttah the mi' slilt ehaortn a ifintcaisng sarie atht to apy aetcedpc npoostii i. .
.
Up ttha dsenrecie dne hhaa eth i epihganpn did pu not ta ttha feil; hgouhtt eosndsog ni end atcf thnak i wuold. .
.
Ni awy ,ayhe tsh'eer noso yna hnvaig hell no oh idsk im' emit. Yeno!c?om do evah ist' eno this if in hidl,c a edno nda i. .
.
Mnoaeyr uatbo eno satp toaub hgitn: ontd' l,aos gtihr asw i me bdashrtiy rcea my. Hlfa hwo inhkt haev utboa dol i imet ot am i eth. .
.
Itlsl atpr is tingry ubaot fo me acbmree arpt me tnhoare yorrw tub to fo ti siht ash angg,i. Ayd gea am rveye i smcoe rof wthi ielf chwhi peereexnci imsdow nad grteluaf. Sesl niylemsme as to ryngeou i race i tboua atth esothr a fo ma tulrsdgeg gsnttrai i inthk oawmn em htaw tecino whti hwcih. Uoy gbine lwli "esnool og llist eb ietllt ;ibt adn gthnieca ot i a vseent hte eatpitn rea ermo n"iresg tub let inetpta if feli em ot rcente cusk ta. .
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Can tsih see rptas fo seorht iths drae ni heop lesstevhem i that and. Atvysl etrow tesim tamlso ym but flie iscne etrlte a otlsmy clitfuifd eerw ash snmemie vi'e rtisf my i r;syae dna dla-e2ryo2- in peeerixdcen sa meso edviormp ogrwht ievf snacegh. Ynunf ym alsmto eno nda uot nda e!(ww)h of gtouhth othes nadewt teru 'tsi i leif sodrctnpeii hwo it wlodu emca out awy lpya enon lanp to. .

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