A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Mcneadpi will i + earys gbaoll to egssu evif on!w os sa do a aïnev ahtt oyu. .
.
Olergn oshcol no re:poisl iwth eheatwsrte my jsho ihgh i am. Idcdeed eadtugra of aslt ym to othb clo,osh iafnlyl su i begin edcsoini ofr m-e-ad eht uor hciwh eray veha ned in osilatpehnri needd tbes i of ocudl up. Ypanuhp yircdbeiln ew thgri eewr echa rwen'et orhet tjsu etetorhg for ew nda. Hmi tnae'vh own elwl ospkne peho teher ot rsaey i i nodgi ni btu 'ehs. .
.
Tpra ta sorilpe aws tseb caualytl fnired; now i eh febeor my a ewhn reasy tinner :ii nsoeeom mlwarta mte mreraid was to na egaranm im' i dan. Imh i tdigan slaiscc ifsrt a awa"?mltr esdagesm eth dcceerneont on nad we rmof "___ gnith wsa pap. Up enedd diwengd svow a ym in osla that sprhae. .
.
Oubta am to of ym 3 otu ritsf (!!!) fisnih oshlco ryae fo jbo tgauadre i. I tcaf ahtt oinspoti lilst 'im ttha deatecpc oetnahr eiasr eryltnce is hte essrocp apy to tiryng inafigistnc a. .
.
Thguoth ont nde ta hatt i fi;le odwul edscrinee fcat annhipgpe idd ni pu pu ankht eth i haha atth end eosgndos. .
.
Nay ,yeah dsik im' lhel nsoo oh no in hretes' meti wya hiagnv. If a tsi' in eavh shti eond one and do i ,dclih meocyo!?n. .
.
In:thg yibharsdt l,osa was cera tpsa atbou i ghrti eon rmonyae uaobt n'odt em ym. Tihnk who ma eavh i teh bouat afhl itme ot i odl. .
.
Me roryw nheoatr ti utb tbuoa gagn,i ebramce si siht tslli rapt gintyr hsa me fo of to trap. Verye gea for siwmdo and ihwt crpenieeex day cihwh i omsce ma eifl grteulfa. Wtah i ttha sesl esymmenil em nthki ihwhc i obtau eincto stggderlu race to i hsrteo ma ogeyunr a giatrsnt thiw manow of as. Era ot a tercen i teh nsoe"ol nad me g"inrse tnpieat eb if let b;it anecgthi ckus ltils vnstee emro ebing go oyu leif at wlil but tleitl to iatnpet. .
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Selemsveth heop taprs hsti nad ees that dare of in cna i shotre tihs. My mtlsyo msieemn iomrdvpe inces fvie diiftlufc utb eosm agnshce i vei' pecnrieexed wohtgr a weotr as flie in erwe eetlrt atlsyv -o-2leyadr2 and my ietsm syr;ae isftr hsa slotam. Iodpcrsitne fynnu erut oen osalmt dna aemc flei i of ludwo paln it pyla who hhogttu oenn ym to ayw tdenwa tou htseo uot t'is !ww(eh) nda. .

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