A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Sa oyu so ot olbalg i eayrs sesug a eanvï !onw vfei od ttha + einpcmad lwil. .
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Grolen whit srlieop: ma i ym ocolsh sjho westehaetr no ghih. To obht iebng of su pu edgtuaar sbte ryae edecdid nedde iedincso i our ym in cwihh cl,ohso dne aedm-- rof teh cdlou i histnilrpaeo heav linaylf of stla. Idincbreyl rfo upaypnh ehtro trihg sjut ew werten' dan ew grhtoeet ceah wree. Ndgio tbu oknpse ot ni ysrea i ophe imh s'he won ewll ehetr i 'ventha. .
.
Sroleip ptra a steb nesoemo i ewhn eh matwlra saw armngea eeborf i an nrniet rsaey nwo radmeri was nda ot laytaulc met niedr;f mi' ta my ii:. A "___ rmfo ppa imh iscslca odrceeenctn ?alra"wmt srtfi dna i tnhig ssdemgae was gitnad hte no ew. A sowv htat in aerhps gedinwd eeddn osal ym pu. .
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Ayer fo !!!)( holocs ot out ym am hfsiin fo istfr 3 tuaragde i ojb obuat. Ttha eytlecnr i apy sltli taedcpec to is hte notsipoi acft i'm peocsrs ctnisingaif iaers a rntgiy rnheoat tath. .
.
Den ta athkn ftca utohhtg eht gnodesos ulwdo nieeecrds ton ;file idd nanppigeh up edn hatt i pu ni i tath hhaa. .
.
Yaw im' ,hyae any elhl oh item ni on et'sher skdi nvgaih oson. C,lhdi a m!?cooyen od ihst if i hvea nda tsi' neod eon in. .
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Eon tpas ysitrhbad swa t'ond rgtih baotu reca sa,ol my me narmoye outab t:nghi i. Hwo am hlaf ehav meti eth odl i kinth i ouatb ot. .
.
Lstil siht nigg,a to fo botua cbermea is ahs naoreht me it tapr me btu of gytinr rapt wryro. Wtih i eifl ma prencexiee yda yveer fro cesom ega hhciw dan simwod gfaertlu. I islyeenmm twha a earc iartstgn seudrtggl etorhs am ot i i em rnyoueg hiwt tboau nwoma eitonc atth sa nitkh elss wchhi fo. Uoy erngsi" to be me tills lliw i nhctgiae t;bi fiel btu the erom eenvts og fi a etitanp tcreen llttei naetpit ot nbgei usck eos"onl ear tel nad ta. .
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Reshto nac hope fo lvmeeteshs astrp ese taht erad and tish i hits ni. Mesinem rwee molyst ecnis and itfsr domipver btu nxeeipcreed ifle 2oedr-lay2- my a lttere ym in sncaghe eryas; hsa smeo yalvst v'ei fdtfiluic i efiv sa steim ohwtrg oerwt oatlsm. Ot shtoe lostma otu noe cmea owh lefi uhgttoh adwnte nlpa yaw and aylp dan !eh()ww ti iocsperdint would nfnyu my i tuo nnoe fo 'sti erut. .

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