A letter from June 21st, 2018

Time Travelled — almost 3 years

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, So, right now, I'm sitting in Josh and I's shared bedroom in his mom's house. I just finished my first reflection journal for the first 50 hours of my practicum at SVC. I concluded this reflection by saying that I don't want to work in campus life. So, I guess that's something. I'm broke as fuck, in so much debt I could cry, and I'm not in the best physical shape. But I also have a family I love, a wonderful man by my side, and friends that mean the world to me. So, life's not bad. Sometimes I think back to when I was like 13 or 14-- did I envision my life as it is now? I'm so fucking proud of myself for the things I've overcome-- I have a college degree, I'm halfway through grad school, and i finally have a reliable mode of transport. I think little teenage me would be pretty amazed at where I am now. So, who knows where I'll be in 3 years? Will I be close to an assistant director of residence life position? Will i even pursue residence life as my first job? There's still so much uncertainty in my life, but I'm not scared of it. So, in three years from now, I'll basically be old. Just kidding. But I'll be closer to thirty. Which is when I said I'd want kids. How will I feel in three years? Will I have a better idea of whether or not I actually want to have children? I think I chose thirty because by that time I should know what the hell I want in life, right? I'll be more stable financially I hope, and I'll be ready to decide if I want to have a child. Who knows. I'm only 22 right now, not yet 23. On another note, I realllllly don't care about any more of my birthdays. Maybe 25 because car insurance or whatever. I guess I'm a little scared of aging-- It means losing touch with youth, getting more wrinkles, and physical deterioration. But even when I get this letter I'll still be in my twenties so maybe I should stop being so morbid. Okay, I'm seriously getting annoyed by myself, so I'll wrap this letter up. I guess this will be a neat little surprise in my inbox three years from now. Maybe I can do this again after I receive this one. PS thanks Pantsuit Politics for telling me about this. Hopefully your podcast is still going strong in 3 years. Or, ideally, Beth and Sarah will be running the country in some capacity. FUCK Donald Trump. okaythanksbyeeeee

Epilogue

about 1 year later

It's kind of a weird feeling to read this as a 26-almost-27-year old. I've been through so many changes in almost five years that I view my 22-year old self...

Do iwll ievf that as seugs i oyu ot olagbl a !onw eysra apimencd + so aveïn. .
.
Ma i :sreilpo hhig rgneol my sohj tihw tesaewhtre lschoo no. Of eddne best the i olucd so,lhoc ncdisoie dne obth iaoltenhirsp arey rof ym to cieddde in edguarat hwhic i oru veha -m-eda pu su begni salt of lnylfia. Lyrebidinc nda rfo stuj wert'en rehoegtt were cahe we we rhtoe ypuphan irgth. Ot pnokse him oeph eethr i i own hnatv'e lelw in 'she sraye oigdn tub. .
.
Tesb nad madrrei i m'i prat berofe yllaatcu syrea leiosrp nwhe eh entnri na nwo i at was frd;nei sneomeo anmgear atwrlma a was my etm ot :ii. Ntcendeecor a was no egesasdm __"_ tirsf omfr mhi acliscs app ihgnt we eht gndtai dna lwa"t?amr i. A eendd ttha edgwdni up in vwso ahpers asol ym. .
.
My of bjo !!)(! fo am i uot iishnf rfsti yrae arudtgea hcloos toaub 3 ot. Ftca thta teh 'im to eylnetrc acctedep pya htta piooisnt osrcesp si sllti iygntr nahtero nscgiiftnia a sirae i. .
.
Aahh edenseric atht up den odeosnsg up ddi ni ngappnehi ttha ;eilf ta katnh cfta ouwdl i otuhtgh nde i tno hte. .
.
Nihagv hell mi' kdsi on oh nya yhea, tmei way noos in ehrts'e. This !oyec?onm i'ts ehav ni node od i a neo adn fi dich,l. .
.
Atuob aerc my tuabo thrysidab nodt' i ,soal em gin:th oyramen rgiht stap noe wsa. Dlo khnti the afhl abuto hvea i to temi hwo ma i. .
.
Me hsa g,gnia it trnoaeh oywrr uaotb shit lsilt fo trpa ot of gtiryn ecmaebr rtap tbu em si. Hwich for efil rveey omesc yad nda aeg am i wthi wdsmoi niprexeeec ulaftger. I twhi as awnom egrouny oietnc em etrsoh of i raec a tegdrgsul agsttnri sels mieyslmne ithkn uabot i am thta athw to ichwh. Erom itb; the ta eb lte lfie go enchgtai ukcs nrse"gi wlli litlet soe"nlo ot dna ubt fi lilts patteni to uyo a em i ear ecertn negbi taipnte svnete. .
.
Htis fo svsheeemlt parst taht in dera ese i can dna tsih hsroet pohe. Dxprieneeec msltyo elttre nesci ifle but vife nad rtoew oesm se;yar rfsit vomdprie ni semniem cfdilutif acnhsge ytalvs my my lmotas tmesi hortgw sa sha a 2dl-a2o-rye erwe i've i. I out lpna sit' ew(h)w! toseh funyn wduol yaw pensiirtdco file oenn nda ti layp fo uret ym nda uto eon ot cmea woh tdnawe molsat ohgtuth. .

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