A letter from March 12th, 2018

Hi, I love someone who’s far away. Far away from Philippines. He’s living on the other side of the world. We’ve never met personally but I’ve known him for almost 6 years now. We met online in a Facebook game called Pet Forest. I love him because I believe in him that one day he will come here. We’ve been through rough relationships and many times he break up with me. Reasons are, because he don’t have any time for me, no definite timeline. And one heavy reason is I will just be a hindrance to his family because I don’t really belong on their culture. It hurts. But I keep on loving him despite everything. Sounds martyr right? He asked for another chance last year. I gave it. In months of our relationship until now, sometimes I feel loved, sometimes not. But I will always be the one who love the most. I always be the one who understands and gives time. I know he’s busy always and I understand that always. I don’t know what will happen in the future. I don’t wanna let go of him because I still believe in you. You gave expectations that ***** me. You gave me the feeling of loving you despite everything. I am happy when you’re happy. I am there when you need me. I was there when you feel down. Even if I am taken for granted at times. Even if I am so dumb to love you. It hurts sometimes. But I am still treasuring the good memories. I know you don’t love me as much as I love you. I never got greetings from you during Christmas and New Year which was supposed to be one of the jolliest holidays although I know you don’t celebrate. And last year Dec. 30 was one of the bad days I had because you ****** me with your expectations of coming here. Also Jan. 15. You ****** my heart. And on my birthday, Jan 31. 12 midnight, you didn’t remember. You were busy focusing on yourself on what you wanted over me. You just greet me when I told you it’s my bday. I cried after we talked because for the past years that I’ve known you, that is the only time you greeted me. 2017 was one of the worst bday I had, you broke up with me 5 days before my bday. I know it’s ******* me, but you’re forgiven. I am afraid of our future and what’s gonna happen next. If we don’t end up together, I hope we both find happiness together on someone. I wish both of us will reached our dreams and goals in life. Thank you for giving love, thank you for giving me happiness, for taking positive in life. You will always be that one little cute kid interviewed by BBC that I happened to watch on Youtube. I love you and God Bless on both of us. Love you always, Jec