hope you are finally happy

Dear FutureMe, You are reading a letter from your Past Self from September 2nd, 2017. I don't know if you will receive it, I can simply forget about this letter and change my gmail for some reason or who knows what can happen for the seven years? But I want to write this, because I feel that I stuck in my life. I write this in my broken English, because I want to believe in 7 years you speak it fluently and use it everyday in you life. Maybe, you didn't drop the University and now you are an English teacher. Or maybe you have a lot of foreign friends. But of course, mostly, I want to believe you left this country. I want to believe you are happy and have someone important in your life. As you can remember, now I'm lonely. I'm not sure if I have real friends. My only one not-online-friend in army now and he will come back just in three months. Are you still friends in 2024? I hope so. I'd like to have a long-term friendship. If you are still friends, tomorrow is ten years since you first met. I don't have anyone who's been in my life so long for now (family doesn't count) If be honest, writing this I think about my life's gonna be miserable. I'm not gonna have friends, I'm not gonna have boyfriend. I'll be still fat. I'm not gonna ever leave this country. What I'll definitely leave is the University. I'm really sorry if this letter hurts you. I'm sorry if you are unhappy and I made it worst. But I want to believe so badly that I'll be truly happy someday. When I'm trying to imagine a perfect life, I think about my own family. I dream about the day when I'll come out and I won't care about what people think. I dream about I'll see the world and leave this ****** and gloomy place filled with angry people. I dream about I'll be visiting mom Russia, but the country will be different. I don't want to even think about Putin still the president when you read this. I don't want to think about Russia's still suffering and people still believe in the ******** from the TV. Friends. A boyfriend. Living in a good country. I hope you have anything that makes you happy. If you don't, so get it. You are just 26 and you are not that silly and useless teen anymore. P.S: really sorry for all this cringe. I know you'll have it reading this. If you won't, you really changed.