A letter from July 14th, 2016 (Newly Sixteen)

Dear FutureMe, This birthday was much different than how they've been for a while- this one was a mixture of regretting and probably thinking more before than on the actual day but anyways- the actual day was very good and fun though, even though only a few people knew, (Note that I'm removing a line here). But anyways, the day was good. I hope you remember (it's 1:06 by the way, and this email might not matter at all but I just felt like writing, and your roommate is asleep). It probably sound like I'm typing something important the way I'm clicking and everything (not at all but could be? maybe?) It's actually better being busy all day and actually feel like you're celebrating than just remembering for a day straight and doing much else. I'm rambling a lot, I think I'll still remember the day and I hope, you can try to remember I guess. It was a good day. Good, good. But oh man I don't know what I'm doing. I really don't want to go back to school, like actual school. Right now it's a weird mix of actually doing things and learning, also going some places since there's more independence here than what I'm used to, and I think I'm enjoying myself more than I'm used to. I should keep this up when I get back but it's harder when it's just for yourself and no one is making you be obligated to do things so they aren't as set right in front of you. I'm realizing more that I actually do like learning things- much of the learning process should be made so you are encouraged to learn more about what you are doing outside of school but that sure doesn't happen at my regular school. I can't wait to get out of there, but then again it's safe, and outside is more tricky. At this point I doubt I'll read this through but I hope I do. I quite like this way of writing, just brain mush and whatever I'm thinking. I don't know. I don't know much. I was planning on watching fight club now but I doubt I'll be able to stay awake even though now I do feel very awake and much more so than I was this morning. I kind of like the way my brain thinks in streams sometimes, like now, even though I used to not to. I'm ok. Also I've found that the pokemon go game is a lot of fun and it bothers me when people blantantly hate on things that have no bad meaning or intention and are just a matter of preference. And those things may or may not be related in a way but it is obviously more than that, they aren't really, and also I've been thinking I should take more caffeine which isn't a great idea but atleast I'd be awake more of the time. I didn't even remember to bling my glasses here. If I read this at night time, or more like the morning I think I might understand it but not if it's during the day. I think I should stop worrying about some things and also my inhibitions are really off. There's a list I made in class of about five movies I want to watch and some of them are classics. Also this is very very long and I am very tired but I hope that you are doing ok. See you soon.