A letter from June 21st, 2011

Dear FutureMe, I'm so terrified that I'm not cut out for this. For any of this. I'm not strong, I'm not disciplined, and I'm not focused. But I want, have to be, or I'll be a failure. Again. I can't keep living like this. I can't keep living with them. I have to get out, but I'm scared that I can't. So I'm telling you, not asking you, telling you, that this is it. No more patheticness, no more childishness. You're going to go out and sell. You're going to make phone calls. You're going to have friends for the first time since fifth grade. Because I'm not going to live like this anymore. By the time I get to you, my debt's going to be gone, my iou's paid back, and I'll be alive. Can't wait to be you.