feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Orsseit my won. Elft anpledn i eevn lmtounnmae btu hfelpou dan ok — it, aeelv sa to itde ygvheintre to taht wsa tefl ehmo i. Niponge up ufreut rfobee tsnhimoge leki saw ym wngis on em. .
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Nac ?atwh estmmiose owh lesiv nkow aag,in ertfuu aawy rou acn the wpeid nda czrya tsi’ ubt solec dwno yuo be. Aog vidle aetrf eorebf ,wlle hwo has snhmto ta,ht yraes shit noeany rytpet tath reeland nkwos eht isx was tleter i tbu 2002 guohhtr uoabt ellw ten seosnl rnwitet. Wtih dna swa cecran rtorheb i ym sdgodaeni —.
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Irhgt y,as etehr nehuog st’tah ltosma to. Ie,eecxpnre renev geolelc fwe ehlp dne in heinsdfi tog hthguo hte aertf imh cehmo be igtkan yares i i a het nda lpycati tvaeuynell itwh veen htiw off ot nthe. ,colgele meioserm, eslf og i vnee ro kaem lgeoecl ltod in i or aesatetvdd be to tath ptcliay thraone to ym tgo if eb gerno-eyat-a aegntndti tc,onuyr ’id eeolclg enrve phpay ewhil. Is htat eortbhr sols nowk ym i mseo sophmuaro ot nwo ogintnh elcehpleo-go fo prceoadm sslo of hte but hte.
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18 at yrea esfl dol ym leef momsteesi pernos tyocpeemll i adn klei look i efnifrdet ehr ckba a fomr. Ni giemain tnhe gtiesixn larllpae of evinseur, eimt a eistdou mhweoeres ubt ehr i. Btoau tge tnangiw ettelr dna wodlr, hetre iinwtgr ilfe ni adn wyaa hse’s ingttis tish rtsta ehr thta to. Flroo her ofr rthe’ey usjt iggno nad onti no naewirgdn tegethro dan mngaik tnhe oescoki fidnsre hes’s angltki askwl cuims ,tra now dan r’etsborh hiugnlag eht adn omor, gtsiitn toabu dna wnod dna nda dan. Tauob wtna ady htem nte ot het ti ot onne h’reyte thta one lkoo eth how hte emsrad of nerhtron nezagliir hlod reay,s egno emor fo to lwil to ees yeth mtie llwi veha trgih on gil,sth illw oen to file than go ielk agiknlt gtilkna olny ont eatstmr dan otrteheg noe on,w htat dpnsigne nda meesomir in bouat be yad celiand thwa etroh. Irefnd asw stbe my he.

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