feeling...

Peaceful right?

feeling... sharp. dangerous. full of attitude. which, I guess, is just what a girl about to go to college ought to feel like. When you, future Anna, get this, it'll be ten years from now, and the passport that you got today will have expired. How was going to school in another country? Was it far enough away from your parents? What prompted past-you to write this (besides the fact that the trusty sketchbook/journal has gone missing) is the fact that, among all of the suitcases you were looking for in the attic today, you also found a hefty dose of family history. History from 1840. A picture of the family goat. Hand drawn sketches of the cottage. Letters back and forth between two feuding families. One family claims its daughter was starved to death whilst visiting the other. The other family is outraged because of a false arrest upon an unfounded accusation of THEIR daughter being a member of a house of prostitution. All insults and accusations in flowery, minute, faint 1840's penmanship, of course. I don't even know what the point of this email is. I just think it's weird that on the eve of your departure to distance yourself from your family, just when you're feeling incredibly independent, the attic delivers. Now, past-you wants to stay connected, be Bess's great great great great granddaughter, add her own tale to the many family stories. Past-you wants to stay in the attic forever, reading the family history. But I guess that's why college is good. So you can get the hell out of that attic and this house and make your own history. Go on.

Epilogue

3 days later

Ten years ago, I was a senior in high school aching to go to college as far away from home as possible. I wanted to see other countries and make...

Eotsrsi nwo ym. Evhirnyget tedi ot ok utb nlmntamoue nnpdael t,i telf aws i lfet — i opfuehl ahtt hemo nad veela as veen to. Asw ebreof ym ekil me getnsiomh ngsiw no ruetfu pgeinno pu. .
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Nwdo adn gina,a frtueu teh elsoc ta?hw iesvl zracy pewdi eb sieometms yaaw but nac oru ts’i know uoy acn owh. 0202 hte xsi aoynne htta ah,tt how i ldeiv tne rettle lwel hogrhut tuabo ytpetr saw ayser sha rtefa lle,w freebo but wosnk nitwret ndeelar soelsn hsti mnhtso oag. Htiw doasiengd i saw cecran rbrheto ym adn —.
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Tosmla itrhg ysa, ohugne to three h’satt. Etnh wiht ecmoh wtih afrte kgitna ,eeicenrpxe the esayr ot even a ffo dne and mhi plcayti efw oceegll hte tog ni i i tlelnyveau plhe enerv eb eifnidhs othugh. Geyoa-tn-rae dlot ,roesmeim i keam ayhpp gto pclyait ihwle taht id’ oelglce astdetadev ot ,yorutnc to erhtoan be my og ro i nreev if ro flse eecl,ogl neve eb leloceg tgeninadt ni. Wkon ssol si of i of nwo eht ot omes ocremadp het hatt hortrbe sohapurmo lsos my htongin ubt elcpoeelo-hg.
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Akcb i arye odl ehr at nad mesotmeis mfro esfl i my lkoo a osrnep ilke 18 fele dertfefni lleceypmto. Lllaaerp hent reuiesnv, giinema emit moeesrhwe itegxsni fo i utb in erh eotsdiu a. Nad lwod,r in feli awya tatsr oubat natigwn ehert tish ’ehss wigrtin nda rhe ot teg tisgtin eltrte atth. The and niggo ’tyrehe adn alksw amgkni edinwnagr rrhote’sb adn tntsigi sjut no toabu ganghilu icoseko rhe hess’ italkng etehotgr nad dwno nad eisnrdf and nda ofolr ,ormo art, and iton tneh scuim won orf. Of ,itglhs obtau vhea day of odhl otn ilke goen own, on dya ezirngila lnicdea stemtra antw see hmet ot ikntagl eitm ntah ot emimrsoe noyl olko atth to noe llwi hety tyhr’ee retnnroh teh liwl og intaklg otehgert het eno elfi thta nad abuot eth nnoe dsaerm one ohw gpedinns to eb ahwt ent mroe to s,yaer in torhe it dna wlli gtrih. Aws ndrfie ym tbes he.

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