Dear Harley,
It's June 2026.
You're sitting at work, your left ovary is trying to commit war crimes, you're thinking about quitting O'Reilly's after 3.5 years, and tomorrow you have an interview.
Right now everything feels uncertain.
Maybe you've quit.
Maybe you're still there.
Maybe the interview went great.
Maybe it didn't.
What I want to know isn't whether everything worked out.
I want to know if you're proud of yourself.
Did you choose yourself for once?
Did you stop apologizing for being tired?
Did you remember that surviving isn't the same thing as living?
And most importantly:
Are you still writing?
Love,
Harley
P.S. How's the pain now? Please tell me the ovary calmed down.
Epilogue
about 1 month later
Dear Harley,
It's August 2026.
I completely forgot you wrote this.
Which feels like a very us way for this to start.
I suppose we should go in order.
You...
Did'tn el''osyril qiut.
Nttgsii owirndgen rewot atefr ehoosc ewer otg ayds ot and lvweeae— irfed hh—tstriee you froelsyu aefrt htere if eerth oyu noigg ysad lnayfil.
Aws smeo i tlle codlu i iswh ufutblaie you hreet in taht olnses. Us,hp the oresan a fro egyrtnvhie a we ttah wken phaensp deende htta snivreue or.
'im igogn do not yuo taht to ot.
Is elcru meomstsei teh kfgicun jtsu nuerievs.
Teh day? dha xtne reetniviw htat uoy and.
Obj tdni'd get uoy eht.
But thast' oyak.
Sabecue a yuo rnahtoe obj onpisoti ferodef. Okot ti uyo.
A esals ureyo' nraaemg ptras wno.
Somhwoe autbo fo nad oto gettgin ohacs, if,red eenv treaf a iedd den eth eekw het eht nawst' cubseae atht jepe.
Yes. Ephe.
I wonk.
Npaci t'ond utb. Won adnho tilop a have we. Shes' emna nad sh'se yorr uosr reh si r,ed.
Sbcllayai so uoy a nahegdc irgwitn iodserndce pcoeul tbsale erhyntigev ,wseek tnhiiw rteetl lhiew isht of.
Agecnhd orkw.
Dhcgena eth acr.
Elfi hgacend.
You to out nhrvetygei herhetw edrowk tind'd idsa tnaw know uoy.
Dais im' agdl taht yuo.
Out no, nheiygvret ubcesae wokr 'idntd.
Kwon ot instgohem wntdae tbu ouy lees.
Rdopu fo rae yuo eyforl?su.
Haey.
Cutylaal am i.
Lnhdaed yvitghener i ftcpleery eucabse otn. Dd'tni i.
Tuo onemtm ecbsuae in emfsly schoe ont rngad esom eylbrav dan 'yireol'ls i of eaincticm rehmcad. Egt i thta monmte d'dtin. Away htta mfro aws me cieohc enakt.
Tawh got ot fwdearrat ochsoe hepnpeda tbu i.
I pu ckba gto.
Toko obj hte throe i.
Sotre ewn areednl a i.
Manrega a i eambce.
Hte i tou antoiusit acr rgieudf.
Iggon for pekt i we,hn eth ot a fo ujne ublteaos tabe this dddeeci otu us ielhw n,kayrlf.
Os :ksa when oyu.
Idd coehso for uyo ?oecn uoyrflse.
I het knith wrenas si sey.
Htugoth jtsu in ppaenh oyu it ont the ulodw awy.
I eth ni'dtd gte to l'er'yliso egndin coseho at.
Taht coesh ti mcea the inbengign i eftra.
Oyu i asked if etrdi odtepsp alos nebig fro azgpnoigoli.
No.
'im oyrsr.
One 'mi no litls tath rigwkon.
Estiosmme retta a athsoexniu klie sltli gfniali tsi' i armol. Rokw aleb mreo, syta i tlsil i era,hdr knhti goign ot gleo,nr do ekep seeomtsmi ekaaw be uhosld.
But ti eb ubtao 'im ot ot rgitny us riendk.
Uoy ehtn dsake:.
Hgnit you rmeberem did hte as ttha mesa i'stn rgivsinuv i?ingvl.
To igrasntt i'm i falyinl ikhnt.
Tsuj yhppa cbeeaus em htey nitshg evi' edon mkea.
Geno ot eridp vei'. Ievmso gnoe ot 'vei. Uoiudirslc aekm uyb ebsaecu itltel sefyml thgisn ei'v let esilm hyte me. Pnsla xdteeci eahv mi' ngiueenly otaub i. Dkni yfglin are mliifgn ew of esornp yelptapnra ubecsea hastt' ehdate ontarmel tiivs maeg texn ot for eht negrcoidnsi to dan nwo a oascin,tlo tnhe omiathnl rhmca yetrcruln oingg im' layrvir to yoehck.
Ovel you enrlaenbsoau nad iyal taomnu and a,ks an beofre illts hsena se,y ew.
Smeo eghcna ntsghi do'nt.
You sgrnbi hte iarpntomt mtso adellc ot teh iwhch neo uoiesntq me.
?tgniwri lislt uoy are.
Yes.
Is cctidplmaoe too sernwa atth.
Na'etvh dah i chum sihw sa sa i ttewnri i. Wgtniri nbee trehe srsthecte vahe eebn erhew rdha hsa. For fo em rea pstuid sllti nfuenihids na iesstor doanur ylbouetsal istingt rteeh rumnbe iwnaigt.
Evlea hte tbu 'dntdi irestos.
I rnieeht did.
Listl i treace. Myeslf htme fo i dfin eceisp rthasrecac ptu sltli indeis dan. In osgtnhemi uiltn velea atht my ehda papear vaeh i aneol i ecenss thwi won't ehmt me od tslil.
Lilts a retirw im'.
Ltsil uoy mi'.
To knhti etnqious orewt het gnvreetyih i edenrhtuan you dan wanres yuatilmtle the tas'ht.
Swa no ewer haenpp yuo atuob eunj wtih iaed isntgti kwor ahtw at on ot 2. Egn,cah you kolo cagehn knwe d'itdn ilke ubt nwko thwa uyo to to eneded ggnio saw ieonsmght.
Ta,rel two nwko sillt tn'do i hpnesap twha tsnohm txne.
Now? hitrg utb.
Im' reeh.
Nlbiduig enw nomsgehit m'i.
Ot gnidfin stihng to look wrdaofr m'i.
Fo dsetina lryeme vusrive ot m'i gryint ievl.
Halrey ahye, nad.
Of us im' opdru.
Leo,v.
Reyalh.
P. S. Id,d ukfc dwon af,tc ni het yvnuelatle vryao teh clam. You nocercn ankth ryuo ofr.
P. P. S. Hvea aoutb are ysuoslr,ie adie loko ot upoecl hte on ouy wkese of lkei unfcgki hatw xetn. In orsry aadvecn. ❤️.
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