Nina,
This year I didn't wait for the first letter to come through. I, sadly, have been trhough so much since our lettter in 2024. I knew it was bad when i started listening to 3DG lmao.
The year has been, ironically the most difficult of our life. I try to keep it up around people, and i don't want to die so i guess that's progress, but still.
I wish i could go back to Nina 2024 and warn her. Tell her she will finally be diagnosed, she will finally have the help she needs but still feel incredibly alone. I feel incredibly alone. Sadly (again) since our diagnosis, some people left, or don't ask how I am, how we are. Thank god for Max, I think I would be deeper in depression if he wasn't there.
Sometimes i pull throught, other times i don't. I feel the need to reassure the people around me who don't see me everyday.
I guess i don't have a lot of positives things to say this year.
I hope 2026 will be kinder, i hope we will get the help we desperally need.
Love u,
you
Epilogue
10 days later
Dear past Nina,
Oh if you knew. If I could warn you for what is coming.
2026 will be the worst year of your life (so far). We will lose...
Eon fo eht epolep we kwen steb. Lppeeo fo toievruaf one uro. .
Ees ilaoptsh het bt,u tbes ta by dema iecinsdo go nsgohoic him we het to. Aws ardh ti. Aulwf ti aws. Tub ot hnsad iabfueutl ish imet aws ti salt oldh oen soal. It ew si atht ymroem fdsueco os in lohdgin no hsi reegavdn rou hcum nadsh.
Eht eftra be orstw wlil fo day yuor flie. Eht rcymonee. A noftorc lakebtn us all , dna ilhngod kile sactke i sih ilc,hd our aann ebmerrem si nboibsg sgenmrcai. Ni ehwtr owh eht uedd dan ihs hesas llwe teh. Gtniorfocm eh a dha arua.
.
Will tnaw die ot oyu. Uyo cry llwi to eyrve mtei uyo wa,kl atke a ehva to tpes. Ilek elfe dan eh him ernsodps etmmeioss klta oyu ot lwli. Scmui ouy ot reeyv ltensi ycr oyu item lilw. You urtgai wlil gnlypai tpso. Oeyramn who yuo ear owkn wotn' oyu. Oyu. Ilwl tawn. To. Dei. 'hes liivgn od if saceebu deamirr hatw nto ? t'anc eomigbcn he hrtee why ekpe ouyr gte 'atcn ees ? yhgtinna eh hyw heetr fi ? fro yhw r'eyou be ddiengw if.
Feil esog no but. Nt'ca sotp oyu arll,eilty ti. Ilwl epke to kainwlg ouy ahve. Ntwa will trwehhe akte vhea ot uyo or a ptes nad ,nto ateonrh oyu ot. Htoarne nda. Ad,n wakl. Klwa reeyv yll'ou meit llu'oy utb cyr.
Atnw edi ot yelrsfou uoy ouy udolw liwl ttah say ot "pip"a nto. So ondt' uoy eid. Dna ot ltilte lliw rty sviruev you by ,tlleti. Lttile yb ebeocm nda lteli,t srunivvig ilwl nlivgi. Tye we ubt rheet era otne. Ew aer llist nvrvsgiui. Ilave nda keep ot tngyri anna.
.
Uyo eevcromo royu ylfmia llwi aecogur, evol rfndies htetnrgs rfmo adn iths dan to eedn. Aevh i nisndeg in 'im daeavnc vrniygteeh os oyu.
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Uoy evlo i.
Ietam' misa papi fotr. . . ): srèt roft.
.
You.
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