Dear FutureMe,
I broke things off with vlad today. He went to his moms, hes coming for toby tomorrow probably. Im going to sleep at my moms. stephanie came over and hung out for a bit. we drank wine ate pizza, cried laughed farted. He was so special to me. But in the quiet moments when it was just me, I started to feel alone. Used after ***, bothering him when he was on his computer. He denied me kisses bc he just didnt want to kiss me.
I got my peircing today. Nose ring left side bc i sleep on my right.
I have no ******* clue what the future will hold, but I am on my own now. I have to pick myself up by the bootstraps. I provide for me no one else. I will find me not in men but within. I will find my motivation to be the best me, the one I only find in the cabins in Big Bear.
You are my hope. I am holding out for YOU. Look around and tell me it gets better. I really need that right now.
Epilogue
3 days later
Hi kyla, belive it or not, sometimes, i miss YOU!! the whole world has just opened up to you for the first time, theres a crazy sense of...
Ttha drfeoem in. Bat hte htkin lla i imte yuo. Say eyb ot oybt you mbremeeerd i hswi to. No reeht ggnio tge a tol saw ,btu it, i. Wnet i r!tyiahbd uor unf os it rof wsa acgnmpi. Sqosaeui saw het it ta. Alryle egt su, her ofr i iftg i einetahsp rofm a is ogdo erteh nca tlsli uyo oeph tmacsirhs. Ilek i em w ashntk mgindirne hte onishalritpe for tddin uor avld tba gnitsh of. Won ni a icwhh hgrti rotgfe ignth asey ot sti ist wehp! is doog o,nw. Ogod esoocfur het i eikl ommtnes niemerbgrem. Ltle em tle obprttaoss yb did up cpik uoy o,uy lsefryou rlaeyl the. Aws ghat this ahrd. Dna u ubt hmewsoo ot pu netw owrk yda eryev gto. :) ni gyrteenihv won aidp esnn,raciu i i uhbtog ihbtc my !own more listl hto i room estdatr anc, otg gapyni egt this vhea my im rfo i gdnati ehathl. Radh sit eoaln eilttl be ot a. Iarees but nylloe, ist it setg. Tou og yuo eonal. Opehis w esaecp inogg h!o ur !onw ur oevl ngnoa ti you nsdfrie meor vaeh ot. Em i mbrere fo ignhintk tefuru. Geirdan tshi eertlt. Ehwer ditnd eb i nowk i dulwo. But had godo rlaley a i mrumes. Nreve etylsohn oeunhg iewtr i. Ur i tsfa i ,ubt clcik iifsdtesa heop butotn a mofr wadforr eilk rfo htci. Be ot hapyp versede ouy. Do elsfe u xxoo nda velo to ru gtri,h dokdi iltens hawt gu!t <3.
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