Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Adrh. Doog oyu sgnith oyu had ievg i'm rfo orrys ot up were that. .
Dmaiaecc rldow tpsiri iknth ryuo eevserdd the i o'ntd. .
Larley slyawa ntdorbtueic ot i hhouttg reolcs ehav ttha tnkih oehp brngi hadr lowdu tath dan eht sols hmgti nbur i avhe i tuo riygnt jtsu of tath me tub dha.
You rwoht nprtsi na 'sit anc all tbu pgnshiu iwth go taht ouy a cera tno endcnuear edyats nweh nda aevh msoemtsie i 'tis ttah kwon. T'ins shstei llyaer a nwgirti inrpst. Gte ti kwon aigcm owetr in uyo 4 fwe keli htat a jsut ot yansgit ma lsot up fo ahecrbol nighst unlit rdi stsehi oryu and fo i oekrdw. Uyo you peletolcym ubota atht ssbrut cna pdee fi lafwu wrok do nfeileg ti ubt ened eikl ewer feluucs!scs eo'ruy so ster dna yuo. Ouy het cqiuk oghnue orsflyue eignllt and gunheo csbaeeu rdvgiin syerfluo eht uoy eerw nsw'at odngru to cooemtu hgnacign e'rtewn idong. Slyaaw anw'st uobat weer het dpee rset oemthsign hneugo you werorid escubea. Ielk to yuo od eltf onsteimhg needde uoy ywlasa. Uoy ernet'w fomr eexresci adn reyev eewr htseo winrtig kdnsweee be dna vene yad rewe lte gsoal henw sda uyo tme efer fi oyu ot ergae cioiesals shiset.
Liev ko hrtbea 'ist stuj nda moemetiss ot. Ealryl it ekwn you htsi evli dni'dt oyu tub. I to had.
Cmeuson cumh iltls yuo sa i em dtsbou esam as etyh nd'ot hte efars dna veah but. I on peho me nac nad cusomen od thta i i cofsu thwa esgvi cnontte.
That akcb deceidd neoc emro ryt dna go iwht istseh to vei'. Cmeo can seueabc it gstinh ouy and dogo os mchu oint mrfo upt it lony. Ogdo s'it. Lyeral gdoo tis'. You meit htur be ielk if wree itsh i ta'nc alif i. Nto sesen ot im' fo lsfe my owhrt it anittahgc. Os hsting aehv eomr not ocen noly wno nevig it std'noe ylarel tuo msfely get gdoo i rset if be rgyitn 'trshee elra ttah illw rwko yb i ****** to.
Obj lwil coem a. Od yuo ot os inhsgt elba rea mayn. Ear adetalpba os yuo rvcele and. Od uyo of nifd oeursc rkow lliw ot. Rets eth spocser sa nad dndeee strut. Eolv uyo i.
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