Hi AlishaDid you do it? If the thesis is over that’s already something to smile about regardless of the outcome. I don’t know how it went but I’ll try for you. Do you remember I wrote one of these letters when I was sobbing over my bachelors thesis? I told you I’m doing this for you so you can do this masters program. So that you could feel accomplished and advance your cv. I wanted to set you up for success in a good job. That’s why I’m suffering through this. Right now I’m at a low point. I’ve stopped doing things that are good for me like the gym, running, meeting friends. I’ve stayed inside all day. I’ve cried every day this month. I hate the process of this. I hate feeling so behind in life and I hate feeling so useless. I worry that I’ll never make it out. I want a job to feel like I’m not just a wasted human and a consumer. The reason I’m suffering through this is to give you the best chance at having a job that lets you feel fulfilled. I’m grateful for younger me for suffering through. I don’t know where I’d be if she didn’t. So I will for you. I hope this is over for you.
Epilogue
5 months later
Hi sweetheart. I didn't get the passing mark you hoped for. It was over for a long time. I stopped with academics because of burnout. I know you tried really...
Hdra. Up vgei mi' rwee hda fro hatt rorys dogo gshtin oyu uyo ot. .
Eeedvsrd teh eciaadcm wrodl ntod' kthin tprisi i ryuo. .
I unbr ssol ot itgnry tub tgmhi tath of i sjtu em i hard htta eht uot that tnihk thhogtu ylealr haev poeh toetucrnibd odwlu lwaays grnib csolre dha dan vaeh.
Htrow pnhuisg i iwth rnpsit nac ydtaes yuo mmeeitsos htta tbu hwen its' lal a go nto heav an crae and atth nwko yuo 'ist audenncer. A iirwngt tnsi' yllrae steihs riptns. Idr in micag to taht oyru owerkd few ihetss gte am tilun ownk insgth lkie ortew ltso of oyu 4 rblhcaeo it and a i gnaisty pu jtsu of. Obuta ouy dna it uoy suescsclfu! edne od rwok erst can elik bsstru fi wree utb alfwu thta omleetyplc so o'uery nielfge uyo epde. Ghnoue dan inltgle wsatn' ciukq mueotco you you yflsoreu nigod nogrud irvngdi usaceeb the te'newr gouhen forulyes wree ot gghaninc het. Ouehgn hte alwysa uyo dpee tbaou wst'an tmnheogsi wrreoid were rset eescuab. Ogihsentm etlf do oyu aswayl eeeddn ikle oyu ot. Let ads emt eenv eervy shseit rcseixee ormf and egaer eb yuo isseiloac ady gsalo ouy eewr kdseneew yuo nwtere' erew adn ot riniwgt if ewnh fere toseh.
Sjtu lvei to ok 'sti nda rhabte sseeoimmt. Hsti ouy lyarle nwke ti'ndd tbu uyo it liev. Hda i ot.
Dna sa em tub tond' yuo nceoums evah sa teyh usotbd refsa humc i eht smea tslli. And do gsive no me taht nca eoph i whta usofc i tcntone osemunc i.
To htwi bakc nda remo tieshs ocen go v'ei deicdde hatt rty. It uscaebe rfmo put acn yonl os hingts yuo iont mceo nad ti cumh gdoo. 'tsi dogo. Good rlayle 'its. Wree i i aifl thur if n'tac be you iths mtei kiel. M'i it esesn my flse httacnaig of to rwtho otn. Yb it odog noyl sr'ethe os lwli arel emor now htta tghisn ton if i etg ****** ot rokw nceo nrytig yalelr be etrs i hvae tou melfsy o'ndets niveg.
Illw ocem a bjo. Os bela tshign myna to ear od ouy. Beladapta so dna rea oyu relcev. Of to wkro fnid will you do eusocr. Csporse the edneed and tusrt as erst. Oyu i oelv.
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