A letter from Jan 01, 2025

Dear future Maddie: ****. I don't even know what to say. 2024 was a year that actually felt like a year, so to speak. Ok lets start this *****. WILLY WONKA Oh my golly goodness. I'm actually so scared to write about this year and I feel like I'm about to cry. Listen, future me, don't you dare make fun of this. I just can't talk about anything at all. Why did Mr. Sam allows me to be an ASM? Maybe he was just like an 8th grade girl. ****. She knows what to do. Edit; I HAD NO ******* CLUE. I literally made one kid stand somewhere so I would remember that I had to do something. He was literally my notification bell. Also I literally carried. I WAS stage manager. No hate for Oliver cause he was doing mics but I CARRIED that stage crew. Let me repeat CARRIED. No, you're wrong. This isnt gonna be chronlogogical because, simply put, **** THAT. Now, your favorite chapter **** VIOLA VENEZIA She's terrible Shes ugly Shes cringy She's a ***** She's literally the rudest person ever SHE TOLD ALL OF MY LORE TO ALEX WESTRATE TO ENTERTAIN HER WHEN THEY WERE HANGING OUT ALONE Also she's a huge *************************** ADDED TO THE ALEX THING SHE DIDN'T ASK FOR PERMISSION Alex Westrate told me I wasn't *** enough to be good at carpentry. LOOK AT ME NOW (i can use a drill) (i also am lowkey highkey crushing on frankie wildman) (i'm not *** tho) (BUT SHE'S SO PRETTY) Guys a literal pair of 6 year old lusted after be and wanted to pour water on my **** so they could see my ******* and wanted me to take my pants off I have dedicated myself to apush so hard in the sole attempt to show my grandfather that im smart and worth it. I saw a rat in the kitchen run through my ******* legs and I ran away silently because I didnt want anyone to think I was a weak *****, and then I had to come down to the kitchen again so I could get my phone as it was plaing a gentlemans guide to vice and virtue tick tok. I need to do 2024 some justice so i'm gonna actually write something worth being hung up in gold and them i'm gonna go back to crashing out (maybe) I'm a diehard people pleaser. I think I would cut my hand off with a table saw if someone I loved and idolized asked me too. I don't know why. When I meet a person I think of them as the best person ever. If they do something wrong that should have them locked up in prison? What did I do to trigger that? This year, while Christmas shopping, I bought some expensive *** chocolate. Like 18 dollars for 4 pieces. I understand that that's obviously dumb an ****, but Chloe yelled at me for a solid hour, and she was mad at me the whole entire trip, and even on a call after we got home. It was that car ride home that made me realize that I was literally blaming myself for her being in a ****** mood and being a *****. Like I know I **** up so many times but I deserve better treatment. And guess what? Literally I just started thinking about what I could do to improve our relationship. Chloe isn't a bad person but ever since I was a little kid I was trying to be the perfect person for her. I changed everything about myself for her to like me. I am permanently altered as a person from Chloe Sopiqoti. Who am I without her? What music do I like? What style do I wear? And the thing is I can't even blame her. I´m a plague that has been following her since she stepped on the yellow bus for the first time. I used to copy everything she did and constantly surround her and ultimately suffocate her because I was obsessed and didn't want to lose her. I literally bit someone because I wanted her so much. And the thing is that I dont think I can actually be myself with her by my side, but never in my life would I dream of ******* doing anything about it because Charlize Mcconell is the sweetest person in my life. I would do anything for her. I would cut off my hand with a chainsaw if she asked. ****. It's starting again. This impossible cycle that entraps me. Take Viola Venezia: At first I heard her talking with Jack Grugan in art and I wanted to be her so bad, but I was too quiet and i didnt know anyone so I shut up and just daydreamed. In 7th grade I thought she was a goddess. I adored her green cardigan and her sense of humor. I thought she was the prettiest girl in the whole entire world. I kissed her. But it was almost as if that kiss took off the evil witch's spell. No longer did I daydream about her, but I lamented being with her. I hated her style, her sense of music and her ******* face. I hated sitting with her at lunch. I hated that ******* middle school libraray. It haunts my dreams. Everytime she speaks I want to.. Saw my hand off with a chainsaw. ****! I'm bleeding out and nobody is to blame but me. I fall in love with people and as soon as they love me I shun them. I´m the blueprint for a **** boy. Chloe Sopiqoti, my longest friendship and person I've based everything about myself on, is the only person I have never outgrown because she simply has never loved me as I have loved her. Do you know what honesty the most depressing and saddening and altogether earth shattering thing is? I can feel myself falling again for Audery Norton, who could blind the sun himself with a ******* smile. For Ekra Bhuiyn who is literlly the prettiest girl in the entire world, who probably ******* hates my guts. For Mr Withers who… yes is hot, but also who I need to tell me and only me that i´m ******* amazing Maddie Keely Cox and deserve to go in the APUSH hall of fame. For Caroline Mccdonnell, who is the smartest and funniest and cutest APUSH allstar. For Frankie Wildman who shines like the sun and makes me want to be as close to her as I can possibly be. For everyone else who I adore, Melody Brooks, Spencer Dunn (don't question he's so cute and nice to me in APUSH), Henry Dockum, my grandfather, and literally everyone in tech except Garrett Delivan, all for which I would saw my hand off with a table saw for them to feel even close to the way I feel about them. Bleeding out in the carpentry wing, stage right I begin to question everything. ****. Who am I? Some figment out of everyone's imaginations, who shapeshifts at the slightest touch? That can't be my legacy. I have to be more than just a chronic people pleaser who saws off her hand for some fragment of love. I have to be…. MORE. Who Maddie Keely ******* cox is Crazy *** Childish gambino fan Possibly a tiny bit *** Avid reader Avid fan fiction reader Jesper Fahey lover Monty (gentleman's guide) lover Recent heroes of olympus fan??? Don't question, ao3 did it to me Apush allstar ASM Carpenter Future ASM (hopefully) A ***** who lost her phone at potter cup New york lover Snow lover Rain lover (as long as it's not thunderstorming) A ***** who can't sing Someone who can appreciate the beauty in all things in life Lover of hello kitty pants Someone who may of just lost her first pair of airpods Someone whos wished so be skinnier since the ripe age of 10 Someone who wrote a seriously too in detail sponging who had to read it to an ENTIRE ******* CLASS A dreamer Someone who might had adhd or autism or something a tiny bit of the spectrum Someone who illegally goes to haverford high school -Briefly obsessed with Tommy Bowe Lover of B99 Dress to impress connoisseur ***** who missed her flight to see her best friends and pushed her way onto a flight instead by begging a flight attendant to go above her boss to let Chloe and Biggie go on a flight even though she was supposed to give it to someone else. Person who takes pictures of children ***** who can water ski I wanna see wicked like on broadway Beautiful and deserving of love no matter what Molly Anne Cox´s daughter, and she is the only person in my life who I will let help define me A spark of light that deserves to shed throughout the world, no matter what others think. Life is more than just other people. Be yourself or else you will regret everything. Others are important but so are you. Value and LOVE yourself no matter what others think. 2024 Maddie Keely out