A letter from Dec 24, 2024

Time Travelled — 12 months

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Today is 24 December 8:34am and right now i'm waiting for the oat to cooling down for our dementia stroke grandmother. Have you been working out? We cant help our mom to moving from her bed to wheelchair because she gained 87kg this year (that was 45kg more heavier than our weight). We keep feeding her lot portion but she cant exercise alas dilemma. Can you hold and move her now? We start exercised this year because our mom is getting old, we dont want to burden her with grandma. And when we said burden we dont want to become burden of the family, and so we need to find a job. Its been 2 years since we first seek psychiatry for the first time and a lot of medication after that. But now we have been free of pills since February. Have you tried search for a job? Communicating with people sure is scary and we haven't recovered fully yet but i hope we can helping monthly expenses. We have been tried to make portfolio for the past months, we need to catch up with everything after being hikikomori for 3 years. Try to catch up with friends too, also maybe in next year we could find a new community? We don't need many people in our life but connecting with people will motivated us to be better person, i hope. Have you resolved your guts with your senior relationship? Its all about guess and distrust but he always by your side since school. Even so he was so manipulative, he was the reason why you seek counselling at the first time. Wether its just our paranoid or manic phase that time, you need to be comfortable with yourself first. I hope next year you can gain a new perspective about relationships and find a relationship that you can trust fully. And the most important one is are you still living well? Please be well. I hope future me is still doing her best and adapted with her environment. Everything in this world is just a moment, one blink you are in the future. Keep sane.

Epilogue

2 months later

i just read this letter (22 feb 2026)
our grandma die in 19 september...

2025. Mui gebni ni hes ehr swa esotnd yaa hes no by eidd tub eusho plsee ewnh adn ictcalri ieraelz ni it yaa her ufnod. A smides reh ew lot. Wsa rtrgee gtignet aeilv we tehalhy wenh to fnid idntd she glnao tiem nad. Ot syat we we nidf gduabnn ohosec akatarj ertger in nogivm jbo htat dna ntseiad.
.
Oals.
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Eitdcadd ltlsi shrat loenv not ushro mi rdinaeg its onw to 24 oy,ka llfu yyeardev. Ngdoi otcfinnu shrcoe i cnat ebal lylroanm utb ltlis. Yrase ,hoem stuj e,nmoy ousps,e 13 on no i no uednrt odl no thwi obj, kisll no. I orme ot itsh ntdo cghnae urftue my ot i eemobc iwrte od i tbu tihw try wokn ot wlli betert tahw faert iwgnirt bste. .

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please


antoniamariesmith:

3 days ago

Stay strong - in the grand scheme of life, 31 is still young! And life can change, so much, in just a few years or months, especially if we start taking steps towards something we want. Your time is yours, your life is yours - it's all up to you! Which is scary, but also liberating. I hope you are able to move toward experiencing more of what you would like to experience, in the reality of your life, so you don't feel the need to escape into fiction all the time. Remember, the opposite of addiction is connection - there will be people around you, somewhere, who would enjoy your company and you would enjoy theirs - I hope you find them soon. And I'll share a favourite quote from Seneca while I'm at it, "The secret to change is not in fighting the old, but in building the new". Nevermind what has been in the past - you can build something new, if you choose. All the best !

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