A letter from March 12th, 2024

Dear FutureMe, It's been a week since I'm writing this very depressing letter. How are you myself? Are you still fighting? How you'd been? I am very exhausted rn, afraid of everything, afraid of people, school, work, and even going outside. But I am still going to our internship. This seems to be the most difficult phase of my life. Tomorrow is my teaching demo, and I am not confident enough if I can do it. I am very anxious and afraid as of now.  Afraid of the fact that I couldn't execute that because of my condition. I am at this state for a while now, I've been stuck. I've been through a lot of things, with myself. I couldn't even help myself, I don't even know what to do. I am unsure with everything, anxious with everything. I just wanna disappear to stop these negative feelings and thoughts. I often feel detached to the world. I couldn't connect to people, I am very negative. I will make a condition to myself, that If I fail my teaching demo tomorrow, I might be seriously considering to stop my daily life. I will consider my situation seriously and talk to a psychiatrist. I am reminding you myself that you recover the real you. You just need help, from a professional that can understand your condition and put all of these into perspective and manageable solution. Don't think to end your life, pls. There's still hope out there