A letter from Feb 05, 2024

Dear FutureMe, On January 31st the letter that I was awaiting for arrived.My hopes were high and yet again he shut them off.January 29 before my wisdom teeth surgery around 8 am I found myself writing a birthday letter to "mel".My hopes where that I could sign into his account and write him a letter through the account so it would seem as if he sent it to himself. Turns out future me needs you to wait at least a week before receiving a letter,and obviously since I was sending it last minute there was no way that future me would be my source.And apparently he changed his password so I had no way in.My last resort was sending the letter through an old email that I had created a while ago.So while being rushed by my mother and sister to hurry up before I was late to my surgery I wrote and sent the letter.The letter read: Omg future me didn't want to work so email is all we got Dear (Mel), I'm hoping that writing you a letter doesn't seem weird but it probably will, We just want to wish you a very very happy birthday! We hope that you have a good celebration day and that you can share this day with your family. This is just a small brief letter because clearly, I'm not good at writing letters since I already ran out of words but ummm yh that's all. Omg, also I really hope that you check your emails because if not then how are you supposed to see this 😬All my two to three minutes would be a waste if you don't read this. I feel like I need to write more but it's not like I can because I don't even know you like that soooo how exactly am I meant to write you an actual letter 🤔 that's probably the reason as to why I'm just writing my thoughts. Sincerely, Your future bestie Well, at least I hope imagine not though, that would be embarrassing. I mean I don't even know how to make friends so I have no idea how you're meant to be my future bestie, I don't even know how to start a conversation😭Umm anyways there are a lot of people that want to be your friend but don't know how to because you don't talk a lot soo we are all unsure. You just seem mysterious that's probably why everyone wants to be your friend but have no idea how. With that being said you should be opened up to meeting more people and building friendships with them, I promise it makes going to places a lot more fun and you actually look forward to being present at school which is very weird because I never thought that I would actually enjoy being at school. I'm not like telling you to make friends, actually no I am but obviously if you simply just don't want to have friends it's ok I'll understand😢 but you should try to give it a chance .😁 Okay now actually goodbye, Cya. I completely forgot that future me wasn't email so for some reason I expected the letter to be delivered to him on the day of his birthday when I realized the day and time that I had actually sent it at. January 29 "I accidentally sent the letter"so of course as any would do I started to panic.I quickly shut my computer while at the same time trying to research on google how to delete a sent email. I had no luck on figuring it out so I headed out of home with the thought of the email I had sent.I remember thinking "oh no, oh no", and then "Oh well.""Lord whatever may happen whit that letter I put it in your hands"and that was all, I got on the truck and headed to my surgery.A day after my surgery January 30 I remember mentioning to my bestfriend if I should send him a anonymous letter,me knowing very well that I had already sent him one.She agreed and mentioned that she wanted to be a part of it too so she decided to make him a small keychain as a gift.We were planning how to give him this gift when I said"ok let me write the note and then I'll show it to you"My last text to her before opening my computer was"In that case you will have to probably tell williams(teacher) to give him the note and to sing him happy birthday(This way the gift would be anonymous too)" I had no expectations to gain any sort of response from this guy due to previous interactions that I had,had with him.I opened my chromebook and waited while the gmail page was loading, and there it was a unread email. I immediately freaked out and shut my computer.I was terrified.You would've thought that I'd be excited to read the letter, but I was rather genuinely terrified.My eyes were wide and filled with horror, all I could think about was a mean response back after all the genuine words I had written to him.I quickly texted my best friend saying"Umm gen so I didn't tell you something,And I'm freaking out,I need you to respond ,NOW!" she responded quite quickly due to my concerning messages and then I started telling her everything that had occurred.(me)"I thought of writing him a letter through email but I didn't sent it, AND HE RESPONDED"(Gen)"NOOOO WAY"(me)"IDK WHAT TO DO I DON'T WANT TO READ WHAT HE SENT"I was soo scared to open that email,but eventually after my besty hyping me up I did it.In it read the following words: hi, thanks for the letter (or email if you wanna call it that) i appreciate it, i pretty much read all my emails mostly just to get assignments done as soon as possible because i’m sleepy pretty much the entire time and don’t feel like working, i read your email around second period (i think) but other then that, reading your email made me laugh because it was pretty random lol i also appreciate the advice about opening up, although the only reason i hardly talk is because i’m pretty socially awkward so i try to avoid people, ( i’ve had people in the past say i look mad all the time but that’s just my resting face 😭), never had a best friend though mostly because i’m pretty boring in general, i can’t really remember the last time i even had friends tbh, probably 2nd grade but that’s besides the point, i’m pretty bad at making friends myself as well, mostly because i don’t really socialize and because i get nervous, sometimes it looks like i’m uninterested even though i’m not, a best friend doesn’t seem bad though imo, unless i bore you to ***** that’s pretty understandable, not to mention i hardly know anyone in school which makes it harder which is why i’m usually by myself in general, like in lunch it’s getting pretty late, and i have to wake up at 4am, once again thanks for the letter, i appreciate it, i think you’re a wonderful person and the world needs more people like you, - thank you, (mel) (my bad if it’s embarrassing) I was shocked.I never in my life expected a response back let alone such a sweet one.Me and my friend excitedly messaged each other back mesmerized by such a nice response.We were soo happy! Perhaps now would be the chance after all to become friends with him.What we had awaited and planned so much since the beginning of the school year would've been all worth it. We agreed to make him the keychain an give it to him the next day (January 31st,the day of his actual b-day) Our plan was to gift this gift anonymously so that we wouldn't make him feel uncomfortable with our presence since he had mentioned that he was socially awkward and because just a day before he had received my letter.(worried that it would be too much for him to handle)Due to my surgery I was to rest and stay at home the whole week meaning that attending school to help my bestfriend with this plan was not a choice.She was on her own for the following plan. It was simple, hand the keychain and her own written paper to the teacher so that he could hand it to the b-day boy. I patiently awaited for her to get back to me.(gen)"I'm scaredd,I'm going to give it to him by hand,it's less creepy"(me)"Idk you should stick to the og plan,but whatever you can do is fine" .....(gen)"I gave it to him," HE SMIRKED AND SAID NOTHING, (me)"Omg😭,what did you say?"(gen)"I was like,I heard it was ur birthday,here"(me) "aww ok that doesn't sound too bad"(gen)"I messed up kinda,I said, sorry this is kinda weird but here happy birthday."(me)🤦.(gen)"nothing else though"(me)"oh well, now lets see what he thinks." I remember giving him a day or so in hopes that he would recover from that weird experience.After talking with my besty we decided to respond back to his email.(Febuary 1st)During lunch me and my friend planned to send him the letter, in the letter I wrote: Yay, I'm glad to know that you actually do check your emails bc in all honesty I didn't expect a response back, if anything I just expected to get an oh okay 😅I started freaking out when I noticed that I didn't send the email on the correct day but it still seemed to work out. Also why do you have to wake up at 4am 😭 that to me was the most concerning part. Omg I totally get the mad resting face I have that too! and it sucks but only sometimes because other times it helps me get away from people i'm trying to avoid😎. I remember I would use my bad resting face to not get talked to because for some reason being alone was quite peaceful most times and I would get extremely nervous whenever someone would try to talk to me. Not only that but for some reason talking to new people was always scary to me. I remember I was soo scared to even say thank you to the lunch ladies and every single time I managed to say thank you just a bit loud I would feel soo proud of myself🥲I think that the fact that I didn't have friends for the longest time makes me now open up to certain people soo fast, idk if I should consider that good or bad.🤷Omg and then coming back to school after quarantine messed me up sooo much, I literally was so awkward and had no idea how to socialize with the people that I use to, but I eventually normalized myself again and now I find myself surrounded with wonderful people that stress me out sometimes😄Anywayss what I think helped me the most to get used to talking to people again was joining a sport, I never would've thought that after school activities would help me get to meet so many new wonderful people and to think that they attended to the same school as me all this time was just so crazy to me. Sophomore year was the year that I joined my first ever sport and it was AMAZING I ABSOLUTELY LOVED THE EXPERIENCE everyone in there was sooo motivating and nice and it literally felt like my second family. Perhaps you should consider joining a sport or any other extracurricular activity such as a volunteer club or anything that just requires you to work together with other people. Unless you are specifically looking for certain people to find as friends then in that case it may be a bit more difficult🤔 But hey having a best friend is never a bad idea😌 You should also think of people in the past that you believe might of wanted to be your friends at some point because just now I come to realize how many small talks were actually people's attempts on trying to become friends with me. Whether it's a simple question or a random invitation to play a game it could just be someone trying to show interest in becoming friends with you. Ya never know 🙃Anyways it was nice to get a response back from you, hope you have a good rest of your day. Okayy BYE. 😁 Me and my friend sent the letter while she was sitting in front of him working on a paper assignment so that he could see that she wasn't behind the online sent letters.I sent it knowing that he received it since my friend described to me that he jumped and changed his whole position after receiving the notification.I was well aware that he had received it and read it, now it was just a waiting game.With this being sent I waited,and waited,and waited,and waited. I received no response back.I decided to give him one extra day to respond, but yet again there was nothing.My hopes were to motivate him to saying "yes" the next time I invited him to my favorite sport or a random game invitation to uno. I knew very well that he had seen my letter so all that ran through my head was confusion.Monday came and my rest was over.I had to wake up early in the morning and head to school after a whole week of staying at home. First period passed the second and then it was third period.The one and only class that I had with him.The seats had previously been rearranged while I wasn't there so I headed to a random empty seat near the white board.At the corner of my eye I saw him siting in the back corner.I tried my best to not make eye contact with him since I was scared that he might of figured out who was behind the anonymous letters,I wasn't ready to expose myself just yet.Third period went by so fast and nothing happened.I'm not sure what I expected from it, after all I was trying to avoid him.Then came advisory time(We had the same advisory),I headed out of my 5th period and started walking to my advisors room.As I got closer to the door I saw him coming out of the room I was heading into.His face expression seemed quite happy but I couldn't risk accidentally giving away that I was the anonymous writer. So in a attempt to look at something quick to avoid eye contact, I looked at the nearest wall near me while he passed by.I would agree with you,it was a dumb decision to make, it made it obvious that I was trying to avoid him.I came in the room and sat in my everyday seat.After coming back from the restroom he sat at his seat which just happens to be behind mine.Nothing interesting ended happening so me and my friends planed on Tuesday to invite him to a uno game. (just to see if he took the letter into consideration).Our plan is set, now all we have to do is wait for Tuesday to arrive.I can't lie,I still had some sort of hope for him to respond to my letter after school, but that wasn't the case.(And now here I am awaiting for tuesday to come, perhaps tomorrow will be the day,I won't lie I've come to a point were I'm kinda over him rejecting me so many times.In total he had rejected me and my friends around 3-4 times out of the 6 which is one of the main reasons as to why I don't really expect anything nice from him back.After soo many tries one realizes that maybe the person isn't worth their time so unfortunately this game invitation may just be the beginning or the ending of this story.) Update will come in a few days