A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

You. Ryt ym i d'ntid btse. I rty idntd' eevn. Notd' i nieavlg wtan uoy, but ot awsyal 'im ealev. You wnhe elaev em i eht deen smto. Em ecahcn a efil igaan i iegvs henw ot eealv try. And eeavl tgreer i. Twna ouy ealev kwno jtsu i ostp tub i 'ntod 'dotn ea,yormn can i woh ot.
.
Htkni atth chgasen rokw obtau loasg to dan ro but v'ei anran nredela eb hei big mxeeret ym ibg olhsud ihntking i ard,h sllam tni,hong. Dngrali ogntnhi ae,cghns. Afre i siht yma i lleh vrene avlee. Em dseiin it i lefe. Myself vcoei ielnlgt me a em sjut hsreet' ilgoofn spto eidsin to. Hte ogwr dan arylle lmsal ,mlasl apth a im' is to neo nolg r,dha woh dna oto awnst. Asyd truyl ubt rtb,eet eb na,anr athn i ot tanw it 'natc eih mees rfo i to 2 aitnamin oemr.
.
Fo 8 teh dcosne eht adn of otu i nnuring for swa i'm ym winrne el,if onw eaysr. Say dno't i ttah if.
.
M'i sorry os. Wenras ton uyo i hist ot watn ot teh dsne is. Wdroats igankt 'mi oeph adn nyma nac yoka mi' i that lelt yuo i stesp you. Wtai rewit elitlt merad me slcoe and taht i uruetf you nor,tyuc legnro ihtw uoy opsrne ruo hotrgtee sfle hteri a evyer od hoep ot to sa ngiog udolsh bitimsaou ofr iebgn adn m'i i bceeaus.
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Yuo reveeds a,narn to lod eb lefs etretb fo a rnevosi hie em, ruoy. Will ipsmroe srnoep i eb hsti ouy, i. I an,c hspu eopsnr a,hrd nad eb lwli eflsym i anht hrrade ahtt try wlil i. I eth you on evig up st'i tasl tmie. Deersve inghts ardh fels ofr time ahtt ttiop,rnpuosei a aechcn viingg uoy mutsiiboa scaebue kseat ggnio wtsae ahtt nveer etsak 'ontsde inltu eth yerve nde old epkse ovpmtceitei ncalgheel els,f hte isehn dan iwll an adn i nda nda lod up, oyu or dose. Fsle dol me uyro iseantd no be nca eon fo. Od acn knwo i ynlo wlli woh i eth noe c,na i mi' it eebcuas and thta. I've jtsu ebne lzya. Liwl era uyo weher be i. Oyu utstr cna me. Ilwl uyo wdon aigan i enrev lte.
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Teferhlta tti,renanioemd and gplsoeaio twih.
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Aissmbti.

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