A letter from Aug 18, 2023

Time Travelled — 6 days

Peaceful right?

Dear Ibtissam, Hey there, it's me, Lee Hei Ran—remember? I'm writing to you from a place where you've always wanted to be. I know, it sounds a bit crazy, doesn't it? But trust me, it's real. I wanted to chat with you because I've been where you are right now. The struggles, the doubts, the late nights—it's all familiar to me. I remember those days when you used to hit the snooze button way too many times and mornings felt like an impossible mission. Don't worry, I get it. Sometimes even I had trouble dragging myself out of bed. But let me tell you something. Those early mornings, the ones where you begrudgingly push yourself to wake up, they matter. They set the tone for the rest of the day. You'll learn to find beauty in those quiet moments, I promise. Oh, and procrastination? Yeah, it's not an easy thing to conquer. I've had my fair share of battles with it. There were times when I'd find myself scrolling through social media or watching cat videos when I should have been working on something important. But guess what? It's okay. You're not perfect, and that's absolutely fine. Instead of beating yourself up, try setting small goals. Say, "Okay, I'll work on this for just 15 minutes." You'll be surprised how that tiny commitment can break the procrastination cycle. And girl, I know how daunting it can be when you're faced with something new to learn. The frustration, the feeling of being overwhelmed—it's all part of the process. But let me share a secret: learning isn't just about mastering a skill; it's about the journey of growth. Embrace the challenges, the stumbling blocks, and even the moments when you feel like throwing in the towel. Those are the moments that shape you into the strong person you're becoming. I want you to know that it's okay to ask for help. You don't have to have all the answers. Surround yourself with people who lift you up, who believe in you even when you doubt yourself. They're the ones who will remind you of your worth when you need it most. Remember, I'm here waiting for you at that airport, and I'm not going anywhere. This journey we're on, it's ours. The tears, the laughter, the frustration—it's all part of the story. You're writing your narrative, and each day is a new page waiting to be filled. So go on, step out of that comfort zone, take a leap, and know that even on the toughest days, I've got your back. Here's to us—embracing the unknown, learning, growing, and becoming the person we've always imagined. With all the love and encouragement in the world, Your future friend, Lee Hei Ran

Epilogue

8 months later

Dear Hei Ranna,

I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know why, but I can't fight myself. I'm so far away from being with you or even near to...

Uoy. My rty bets tdn'id i. I nit'dd ryt eevn. 'mi tnaw ot ndto' uoy, i tub wlasay lgnvaie aevel. You eth eedn wenh otms em i evale. A gaian to me givse efil rty i nwhe ahencc evael. Dan i tgerer aveel. Valee watn tub i owh nmoy,rea tsju n'dot i t'dno knwo acn i uyo ot spto.
.
Kwor cnahegs llsam aannr bgi to btu ldrneea kgininth sduloh ieh khtni ibg my i ad,hr and ro gotnih,n be tuoba emeetxr evi' olgsa taht. Ntnhogi dlnagir gsneha,c. Ehll may evrne hsti eafr evale i i. Elef dienis me i it. Lnltgie yfselm gooifnl em em 'tshree sopt to jsut a idensi cieov. Phta glon too twasn a is a,hdr who yrlael nad ot eth m'i one and masll asll,m gowr. Tninmaia ot lutry eb hie natw 2 utb a,rann ot i seem ti tcan' moer fro adsy tb,erte htan i.
.
Aesyr uingrnn 'im eoncsd of uto ,eifl eth nda fo 8 saw orf my won i het nnrwie. Say i atht nt'od fi.
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'mi srory os. Sned tno is to i the this awtn oyu nersaw to. Wrdsoat antigk anc llet ohep im' yanm ssetp htta i'm oaky ouy dan i uyo i. Gniog lrgone erfuut usdohl oru ophe ouy genbi me seucaeb nersop iwta ouy ,nuotcyr rof i gtreohet sa eslf mi' nad eolsc teihr nad ervye eitwr to ettill i a mrade subamotii ttah with do to.
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Vseerde oyru trteeb to me, of ldo eih eb lfse a rna,an vrionse ouy. I ihst eb eromips ,you poesrn i wlil. Opsenr be i ttah edrrha sphu i illw dhar, ryt myflse ,nca nda iwll htna i. Teh item s'ti no oyu i gevi alst up. Ihens dan dan eekps kstae odl oticpeevitm taht esveedr radh ehaegnlcl tsonipertopiu, utnil oesd dna rneve ghitsn a dlo eth ebcuase niogg i eth dne rfo dna imet ns'edot staew cahnce itoiusamb thta ro uyo ingvig sf,le eatks up, yuo eyerv sfel an illw. Eatsdin lesf on oryu of dol eb can neo me. Ohw eth aeebusc oynl nda ttha kwon nac i od eno i m'i a,cn wlli i it. Nbee alzy vi'e sutj. Era will be ouy i ehewr. Ouy ttsru em nac. Evern i wnod tel uoy niaga iwll.
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Hiwt annm,oitretied eetlrtafh ogealspoi and.
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Ibstamis.

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