A letter from August 3rd, 2023

Hi Paulie, This is it, we broke up. Sam and I broke up. Three days ago, he ended it all. Deep down we both know that this was bound to happen. We agreed to remain friends but I need to break our habits. Our habits of wishing each other, my habit of reaching out to him when I feel low. I can't depend on him for support, cause after thinking hard, I realised that even though he is okay with me reaching out to him when I feel low, someday when he gets in a relationship with someone else, she may not be okay with mine and Sam's relationship. I might feel jealous that he has someone and treats her the way I wanted to be treated. I am going to write more letters to my future self instead. I am hurting so much right now, crying so much. The pain won't go away, even though I saw it coming. I need him so bad but I'm trying my hardest to not reach out to him for support. I need to stop. I don't want to let go, it's hurting so bad. I know that this time, it is over for real and we won't get back together again, like we did all this time. It's been 6 months now that you're reading this, I hope you're over it, I hope you don't feel the need to reach out to him, I hope whatever I'm trying right now for us works. I hope you and Sam both are in a better situation, doing mentally better. I really hope so. I believe in us. We will get over it and we will do better. I'm doing my best to keep myself sane and not hurt myself. I promise. I will keep updating you on the progress of this breakup. I will be okay. You will be okay. We will be okay.