A letter from June 28th, 2023

Dear FutureMe, So, I guess I’m writing to you as a way to make myself feel better- but also as a kick up your bum if by some ungodly reason you still haven’t gotten your **** together. It’s the end of June 2023, July marks three years since you and Rafe broke up. Yes. Three full years. And you still think about him constantly, you still miss him and you still idolise him like the idiot you are. I guess you took it a little too literally when you said “I’ll always love you”. You and I both know he probably hasn’t spared a thought about you in at least two of those years, so why girl? Why? Rationally you know the relationship wasn’t perfect, he was terrible at communication, and there were other issues too- so why this man? Don’t get me wrong, you’re okay. You’re actually pretty happy single, it’s the most authentically yourself that you’ve felt in a long time but that doesn’t change that he’s still got his claws in you. A couple weekends ago you got drunk and had a melt down to Sarah about how much you still love him and how you’re scared you’ll never love anyone that much again. I really thought after three years we’d be over this, over him. So I’m sending this to you for the anniversary of your break up three years from now. I’m really hoping you open this and your response is “oh wow I totally forgot about him. What a trip down memory lane.” I actually don’t know what I’ll do if you’re still thinking about him, that would be insane right ? We were twenty two when we got together it would be insane for you to still be thinking about him at nearly thirty. I hope you’ve found someone else that inspires the kind of feelings in you that he did, I hope you’ve had another epic love. I hope you haven’t had anymore relationships like the one that came after him, I trust you’re smart enough not to make that mistake again. Or at least i prey you are. Please write back to me, if you’ve fallen in love again in the last three years please tell me all about it, I know how much you love falling in love. I suppose there’s a possibility you don’t and you’ve been on your own since I wrote this, in which case. Good for you, you do have a little bit of tendency to get caught up- but I also doubt it. I know you. And you love being in love. Even if the last one did make you a little more cautious as to who you let into your life. Did you ever go to Berlin ? If so are you still in touch? I don’t really expect that you will be but I am curious. Tell me everything. And tell me that I won’t always still grieve this lost love.