A letter from Dec 13, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Im laying down in my bed rn and I know, that I have to collect ALL my energy and get the **** up. I know that, but I’cant. Im so tired emotionally, physically, mentally… Im worrying about him ALL THE TIME. one side of me tells me, that everything is okay and I should just trust time, but other side of me is literally eating me inside and out. Maybe I just don’t want to accept the negative side of my thoughts and thats good, I think. But I know, that I have to be realistic and I will have to accept everything. It’s been 13 days now. He still isn’t on contact. Im worried. I can’t even put all my thoughts together. Im so drained, but I have so big hope, he is okay and will never leave me and specially like that. I miss you so much. Now I get how hard is life without you, please comeback soon and never leave me. I don’t want to cry, babe. Please don’t give me a reason for that. ❤️