A letter from Dec 06, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hey, this is past you. It's your 14th birthday! Good luck in high school. Honestly, this probably would sound cringy as you read this, but please stick with me throughout this letter. It might just be because it's 8th grade, but happy moments seem to just pass by. Of course, I still feel happy once in a while, but I never really feel fine. Right now, it's midnight and I'm probably going through some kind of emo mood swing lol, but I don't feel okay. I hope that you, the future me, can improve your friendships and relationships. I've been a bad friend, and now, I'm distant from many friends I was once close to. It makes me feel sad because I do miss the memories I once had. I know I need to move on, but I'm constantly upset because I just wish I could be someone that people could like. Or like, how should I word this, I wish people could just like me better as a person overall. I can't tell if I even like or hate myself anymore. I don't feel as much motivation as I did last year, no matter how much I remind myself that I need to raise my motivation levels. I just don't feel anything, really. I feel like I'm just going in a circle. My friends have big potential in their own skills, and I feel like as someone who doesn't have a lot of skills, I'm dragging down or disturbing my friends from doing what they do best and just getting good grades in general. I'm too dependent on my friends for help, I know. I need to start solving problems by myself more often from now on. Please be better than what I am now. I miss the old times so much. I still want to be able to give you a cake. I would pick a cream cheese red velvet cake.