A letter from Oct 27, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Today my heart hurts (as it does every day now) it is a pain without words I can't describe it but it's so strong I know it's neither love nor sadness but I have no emotions to put on it I get up with it, eat with it, write this letter with it, it is part of my daily life now like a black hole, no light enters or leaves it it's like a burden that we carry with us forever I have already thought of ******* it but my brain prevents me from doing so it's a constant war between my heart and my brain.