A letter from Sep 05, 2022

Peaceful right?

OG LETTER: Dear FutureMe, I'm currently a 16 year old mess I have no idea what I want to do in life I have no idea who I want to be in life I've never dated. I've never had my first kiss. I've never had a job. I feel like I've never done anything. How have I lived 16 years on this planet and done nothing. I've watched every episode of Supernatural, I've tried all the iced coffee in Tesco but I've never REALLY lived. I want to live not just exist. I feel so lacking in everything. I love reading, I love writing, I love to delve into these fictional worlds but I feel like I'm missing so much in the real world. I hope you, future me, are living and feeling better than me. I love you no matter what. ----------------- Dear FutureMe, wow I forgot about this I cant believe its been a year update time!! so I'm still a mess, just a 17 yo one now - but i think I'm a better mess :)) I feel a bit happier with myself and my world now. It's kind of the opposite now, I have so many ideas of what I want to do with my life, its hard to narrow them down. I'm doing a gap year next year, I can't wait. I think working will be tough but I'm excited to leave work at work and come home and not have to worry about homework and things like that. A Levels are brewing ahhhh but I AM GOING TO WORK HARD (manifesting haha) because I deserve to do well. Still never dated. Still never been kissed. I am scared I'm missing out. At the same time, I'm working on loving myself, adding someone else into the equation might upset the balance at the moment. Jobs: haha still never had one, too much volunteering so random but it rained so hard and there was so much lightning last night - I liked that Awwww Supernatural, those were the days. I've got a more healthy relationship with it, and TV, these days - not much more heathy but a little bit, I just started Doctor Who!!! Iced coffee is still my drug of choice, I'm sure it will be in 5 years as well. It's cheesy but I think you forget you're already living - every second, every breath you ARE living - just try and enjoy it a bit more, put a bit less pressure on it. what I'm learning is the real and the fictional worlds can exist at the same time, I don't have to put my all into one - it's about balance and that's ok. Working out that TV and books is what makes me happy doesn't mean you have to abandon real life. I am doing better, sometimes it doesn't feel like it but then I look back at my 2020 and 2021 self and I realise how far I've come. I'm going into my final year of compulsory education tomorrow, crazy times. and then the fun/work begins :))) I still love you, you idiot, love yourself a bit more <3 ------ New Questions (5/9/22) how was the gap year???? i know working was probs hard and stress BUT think of all that money and experience. did you book/go on that dream trip to crema? I know it seems super expensive - maybe just maybe talk to mum about financing it a bit - your dream of cycling round the Italian countryside deserves to come to fruition HOW'S THE SAVINGS ACCOUNT!!! you are working so hard on it right now - actually keeping up w/ your goal - its at £228 right now - pretty cool :) How did A Levels go? i really wouldn't ask but i think you will do well - i know I always say I don't believe in myself but i think i am actually pretty smart hehe OMG OMG OMG WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO UNI!!!! HOW WAS THIS NOT MY FIRST QUESTION? DID YOU MIRACULOUSLY GET INTO OXFORD LOL, OR SHEFFIELD, YOU LOVE SHEFFIELD, MAYBE EDINBURG, THEY DO A SUPER GOOD YEAR ABROAD SCHEME, awww whatever/whevever you go, make the most of it. love life... do i dare ask... finally get that first kiss yet??? if not that's ok, we're working on it :))) what tv are you watching right now? so many shows so little time lol. oooh how are the new marvel movies - last one that came out was love and thunder (mid) and ms marvel (amazing!!!) you still addicted to iced coffee lol please tell me your keeping in touch with louise and heather - you need them, they are really good friends ohhhh and Kassie and Charles!!! please tell me you kept in touch! I'm seeing them next week, we're watching The Sandman together and maybe the dofe lot - they are lovely - perhaps a yearly ice skating thing? i hope you still read a lot - it is super cool - hopefully you've had more time because you're not at school OMG DID YOU WATCH ALL THE MOVIES ON THE MOVIE POSTER IN YOUR ROOM - YOU AND DAD ARE SO EXCITED TO START IT! did you get that funky samsung flip phone? is covid totally gone by then? its not really a thing anymore but it still feels weird to think about. i still cant get over how i lost 2 years to sadness, how i could have been enjoying my family time, and exploring new things. i don't like to dwell on the past but i will be eternally sad for all the pain emma caused me - i am so glad i got out of that friendship have you and mum and dad and sister finished watching big bang theory yet - you're on season 4 right now! YOU BETTER STILL DO FAMILY MOVIE NIGHT! THOSE ARE YOUR FAVOURITE PART OF THE WEEK, NOT THAT YOU WOULD EVER ADMIT THAT i hesitate to ask but are you still friends with Annabelle, she's changed so much... it's just more awkward now... i don't think we'll ever be proper freidns again, that makes me sad ollie... just no. i hope iris is doing better - she deserves to be happy did you paint the walls of your room green? that was the dream! how hard was winter 2022 financially? mum and dad are looking nervous, talking about shutting off the heating to save money talking of that, is the war in ukraine over? is russia giving us gas again? i hope you're enjoying life just a bit more, baby steps, think of how far you have come since 2020 i love you idiot :))))))

Epilogue

1 day later

2024 RESPONSE:
BRO so much has changed this is wild, like genuinly crazy.
my whole world is like constantly shifting, this time next week im driving up to *** for...

Yhlo tgouhhr tggebsi pbaobylr eahcng leik lfei evre eenb **** tusj 'vei irneet teh niu tclsyarlida my hgne,ca iwll. Curco hte espek wdrol fo gnruitn, ttah woh no tis uatnom twssit arzyc hcmu adn the isenan em to lopt tujs. Elef ko i few pnderos eilk ot a oulhsd i qosuetisn.
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Isrf,ytl ouy hutrhog in im eewr lod as owthr s,yrro msieyr it surtt ti ,fels yuo ym adn yfrelous heapnp velo, ftac os as ot yrleal it sono ni me yrea flei my tosp sjtu onit ttsasr oury erbt,te ot woginlwla gnoig girl nxedet you i 16 tges leohw lal. Up pneo tujs veah i nouloc lees adn ywa i nbgie oeerenvy xeerepnecsi dna to adn kthin orf oyu ratts as hydes ouandr nath onos frea as urstt sptudi si thta as yuo as yawa fo em im ldowu mfor as loocre ilysl uyo esariedl ,you ense heav. Tuair,tym osemc reewh hsti k(aa and osal ertelfc back up is yoru owgr xaepnd nda bessoesd ta dsoe itsll and and veyr mroe not tniy oisnozrh ear itnortamp plpeoe hgih meit ifel bbbleu whit rhanomol 16 cryaiheh,r utsj lautpoiryp os)hloc the srileae hte ermo uyo real you with clceris eth.
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Ahecng as anrttsig dwsrtao ownk w/ ersu nad eowhl **** mi ianag - ntex tib ihecoc niegetrtgr i ifguer btu thyrsio you ihmtg time v'ie lciascss yrea tlil' dimea ym tish in adn lal gerede itmnunoicmoac ennglia ym to )hhaa a otl rneev terelt to lghhiy taht njisrmalou hsidewtc not( dna a eb ym aosl mi mi otu.
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Bsyo orb gingo lie ton ehya - g,tdian bndieh ot tlisl sgkinsi, erwe' ttepyr. A rlunynusigpis uoy ykies bjo to reyptt hewn yrt yahe os sdoe sd'a a orop niegb nda wrog ichld as ated pu. Ildw osjek ssulryioe dab hsldo chmu hwo i tllis a ouy wonk is yrsro no,w ghtin ti ti abck tbu animkg eenv si. Retbet atht hapyert or hte ahd lbates dan ehva dtapue wokder arfdia in htta btu a eb a ureyo' psitoaherinl mi hisw oybden lol i ot 0252 yppha nda tmigh i ensw. Ayw ognl did retces nbee mmu mi epurs dupro to ttah of yuo, irgayrnc idd so eh 3< ev'uyo ouy oot oyu rnuado llet thaw abtuo rof.
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Oguhht rgycni ym gto owkabtrch im astp ot i'st oyu will a eer'hty mi dna nlinefcue i ppdesuso my in eht rrlenstupaua uhmc blmrut nokw feli bsuy ermo better ko levo sa tsaht otin a omer auobt 1f ironpaielsht etegaern esbmigsrena !!k!o a rse,nao you're rof ti, 'yuveo ures ,now lstli thiw eshpas nda fo yrve eb ruyo etg ihiinsmd my lslti hppay i ubt even orme aspseh.
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Ko beieevl eoy'ur ot tihs reigil tno oigng. . . . Uoy no htta at ethm yuo abesb se'ecoff lpeac allylerti het yhea ktosc vhsseel all cstoe 'veouy fmor, korw edrit hte. . . . Iwstt hhaa ltpo. Udlwo rfsit lle'w cisederdno os edolv cry, otcse in tnelyosh wtha 'di my but hatt iev' me 19 a tnoo oabut lvesesh re,a hktin ngido at veha as etg but to tath at eb gtoinksc im yzrca ojb o onntiem 61 o'dnt i eyah ew god ereh adh het hcmu t!rlete! erve ew (ho tcseo y l)rtae.
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And yruo sa widre ouy as em akcb rtstne,ies ntikh oldswr muhc ntrae' linoghd yuo srtut yoru atem agdnier neev iiaragymn ntriwgi. Nad hti,ng otveemi ehtse sieivtnse wtna,s' mugs uchm i nad a musdase nda eadm nynfu and kndi nda ni wsa 17 nad elauv lpoepe at tpas dna iwrde sgnthi os nad lla ist yuo dna it koebwgaeedlln atth oyu me ddo aws wchhi 81 it bad.
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Teerbt tegeaen yleosruf eag bti htl,eha tou urstt oyu ixeceerspen ni can i eekp 16 wrehe uyro ahwt ihnavg essdmi dowlr ryeou' on, somtal atth idk amtenl aerl rsafe onw aws now it a ,me eewr at na ,out estoh gnissmi ta uot khnti yuo orf oyu eyartil aws eetrh.
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Em vingli freutu u,yo phoe "i ,em are trtbee ahtn lfgeein nad.
On tmerta you wtha i olve. " htwa a ceitu. Eer'w bduyd digno trtus ok em.
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Odog ewkn dna inhpgus 71 i she lvesel rewe rh,ohtug y hoste ni abtou ni tsmie of thwi ooooohlleooo ,rwko ehwn well 81 nktaihre nvibig ni a em iamgnza lgir uyo hawt suepr you uyo dneo haade ,teads rof eewr ekli yuo o assy uyo rduop hadr csuh entyo,hsl otnseerad ctfa uoyr o lla ryou tup dogo yppop oscet efoftr so irhde yuro i feel just eewr asxme heoc eibgn y.
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Taht" eahy ernida dna satl n,rai w!!on erthe ubt kdiel ti s"o ptsembeer - chmu adomnr hgitr ngith so it ningihglt ----- i os was im eninpexeirgc dhar.
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Ulce cna inu a fi rlig fecfoe haye ta pir taht dice ont me stlli i dffoar nad thhguo ti ong,rst taetl mime fcae ingog.
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Hhleta ni 18 atnmel nhtki sryro gfliear woh m(i rcehntes opsp i)s naem uro its to yunnf jeko eth em eshs dol - bcka llolllll tsuj i i odtn yrea.
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Toferf ot deen lal loco oloc teyarph afsreuc hgnti ti ayndftelie mhuc asw inu irtfs my unht too arhd dan to infindg godo het 3 a tdind put in lphe boj tsath epkt smeo ftolaa ioggn so asw uto snohtm i eht enwh 'uroye uyo eooprafnsisl me but lhpe wnhe to vleel at it tge hyea.
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Eb otbau inogd atth oa,owonhyoooo twne uthhorg hlba to nriytg i sseem i oedn leayrda ti akglitn ew ,stih hyae rof iktnh knwo hbla and to to bjo ndot eth wlel umm os alhb ont peek.
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Yob eerh ho ihtw m,seno byo orve ok tlaethcor os dbuyd lto to dgoo tiflring oh srtehe a ho cankpu yob. Ktsotik bo"atu hte owtnuld 302"2 is ntomem me see lgnilet wstti etohs si fo ihts wenh yuo bieevle me the reh hatt 2240 optl keil. Oyu to ntanco doluw hwo soryt lgir ratec fatohm orysr iths tyilralel i. Hsti otrocd lsoa to inslk loyl owh.
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Htaw, kdeli os hthuog dan ogm ellt eb ti she nac neve aws uyo and anasyyw imh dwolu i ???ot??grhet???e? esh cyilsbaal wnke otdl tsju tehy eisslhf uyo os os did rhe ielk riewd t,me kiesy etpsl haey ehyt ur'eyo eyah ,ghesdag it. Rlylae tdlo escbaeu as atth he deenpo esh a yuo saw reh ?s?e??ya aecbuse nfider ouyr tsro by fo nad acft btu so nyysawa hse i og oerm doen it to yese swa ylbciaasl doog essh anmte tno nawna dan hsse' her eess dont onrwg hrad vnree hte tath dspelogoai hes's noti hatt it or leshfsi anotsci sa. . . . Yedar gte siht ofr. . . Lloy tge ton dna a cwsdree she snoiiutta up em hewn bf a seh aobut omes retho mih dnitd eokj i eth ,ygu hlowe tsuj cmhu ash ?w??on? how usjt it emda. Of i ti somgnik svelle up enam i pu, me me keil uolirseys seesmd meesds dttsear. Emkso rysro em i me roegynu tdnid ot :(((( **** mi hppensa tanw kown uyo layler.
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Eoslhnyt odgo rdh,a also srpnoe quiliefad yhw netgitg mi em ulcyk lerliyatl hatt i uwtnold haey a awnt gto teyh jbo ubt a tnwa's. Teeems het and imporev tihs em yusreliso ni kaa( lfse my oge amc isht aetsr my fo oosp no edpleh feculenin my si gyu )again eyes.
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Ltlaauyc ****** ntmae teh on will trtaalo,ch to eht to es,oilu ampict rdnifes yruo htta yver itdfr oyru teh teltli heva aer ot mgonvi syat truts enso nihfd,isrsep will adn tec) hrt,u em ilwl nui lto kaa( neso tamne. Ltsli ipck dan finsder nwto eepplo arrbgcye/u and 'yuoll ymimj eenv otsna ggtiten up laos rakm( mihel) tlo in a eth new nlleaaeb way iwht lgaon ewf yl'lou kaa ryuo up a den lroces.
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Oyu lefi wrory otdn im a ibg het fcinfinato lrye rtehe afn awlays orme elss go but on the ouy eht bnlaece tou lwil heatylh you aett,ntnemeinr for uryo fo suer be liwl a lwrdo ertehs trpa.
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Iltl' hwo nwe nshigt od, to ihs hwo wokr dpour samx eb i btu bjo at btu ot edtfnrife nwo ist of tsju at hsi dya hscu yeha wawwww girht teh acm, alst do czrya voseeern'y rspeu imsisgn aodls ffo me eoyur' d,toya its dik him edrnwo. Ot dsrinef tifrs job het rdowl ffo idrfesn neirdsf oxf,ord i yuo cesol nabgdianno dluat ta edfrisn dan mena ot revatl srntigta imebcgrda, fsinred itreremnte, eahv ihetr. Tmei to dki idwl in eb kihnt ersay all ehrew tis 'lwel a.
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Tbneea ayaw at,eidrp ormf emda hant vnedri wseek up em oden tknhi nfalily het ni si si eiv atth a in i nleray ta t,ol m,e anpphede ehmo dr,snefi e,dew 2 het leik veha dksome, tog fidrnse up twih ciigpkn het nddaec my ssrssseyssa i sah to ugs,y f,fo ttsur uymarsm roem ttesidneer em in ym 3 ltsa usyg ifel epslt with aser droanu bp,u. Lliw netx i'm but oh" tltile ntdo etnncot i fmlsey eb tmie at mi oingg ewerh 'ill tudob ncageh niu ta iwth meontm stih uesr eayr dose rfo won"k im angilugh esh het ghnvereiyt owh. Dan opepel ot imgkan ta nda (atknh my ujts me uoy a hstat entpfirgis cyr ta atsenilrio)a htat ohw fro em acm oelv drowl iherntka i evha. Lal to ubt atht elpflyohu fro syrac going eht heagnc ): aslpee is and ist rtetbe.
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Ho **** oogfrt ahhhh dha dda to ermo i.
1. Whos in evloyl dbte) sa is (srory dahr nto yenom pga uspre o,dgo reay was etxn sa aivnhg yarse pypop dan ti ot losko etoyhlns tsi. Eend nad enwh pploee hmuc kwor ogoydbe tir,sf rcdie rwdrea dna tlo the ta ouy oyu a so hwit ouy etfrfo thta reom nhte ti rfo to oyu veol oury esls uoy neve dsai ouy ethad rweg otl a gthuho boj trtleoea.
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2. Eitm atsth hpneadpe macer nto oga onw nevre direw tath a defssu gdo neop.
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3. Up oacntu - ofr asingvs uin have i grli asdve 000,1£0.
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4. Idd oevr wlle htsi seevll bene a.
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5. I to ton kthni ulyclrulta godo lartieyll setldi tno em ,onw thtas eht mi og oy,enm ahte saec ehrte gtoofr aeltiosd nehyewra ist ligr it owyrr but up is dan ******* ot or tbu its ouy dedu tuoba its rewhe suceor leyarl rednim noevrus tbu i veetyoens mi utb ok) go yb eorwt so fo etim i tgear tisvi aylelr vyer anme fntiedfer kown mi ot ouy ontd lsoa ignbe lutaalcy gnigo ska oyu ryuo i trstu ton ttah thta egtar upc its it eta oelnni ytci nunfy lfseym cuhm nebe nad csku wiht yu'do doofxr catf ot heav in a doxing in aaahhhh obr esirndf i (im luldbei ouy adeth msylef a ulowd ti ryt adn.
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6. Sisk ftsir eyt) huts pu (no.
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7. Uroey rbani iglr as etesrh' os iprengpp tv aittsc tyeilallr inu vt iertd shosw ekil rof oruy. Oen moes ni cgitnahw aasalk im visutarilsv. I on mi atydo resu d,go nabir tfufs kmae hvea rrtevigney het i ou,y ernsdpo moes to dan i ddea to dki so but aelrilylt aonrcs ethor wnat. Ot keabr is aols rorys yuo **** ot wen evarml it.
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8. Tnwe ngvae tub eulsoi isllt ni ot lylej sehipndsrif ftedidr tognrs lsueoi medild oyu dod nda esim so of your eddygo fo arbn moes rof tea rptya esu,r nda igong yeha mdapce esom aerhhet het davok ostr neohrew.
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9. Dikle kseisa uoy, maed hatt esndto - iotr nto lpets reaohnt odgoemr ho oyb orpo no 'eoyur enth to aekps whit het tno iitvmc neflgie wsa hte seh nda uyo gyu so eamrnoy eoathrlct rfgnsiowadoh got it tath. Tsih ttah ynunf qenue rdpeetsa mesan hte alos saw daet dngiy nad ndamnas cush llo lteert a.
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01. Bnieg we usjt hstta tihw no colse its luycalta taht tnrae defo ewird ot but hicll.
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11. Tchonrea os eth at mi ryev a so kucyl to sutj egginnbi cntaseen suby im itnsgr now leiyvtac og,tetreh hte raey fo rgndeai.
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21. Idk tomimc ratap tjus to ist nitdd you rryow on elfl ornehta tusff oisermp ot hatt thwac dhar tginh emht dan heay todn.
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13. Ctlolvcyliee tsuj uroy fpil gnusmas neohp uoy uy'reo risi ebudlli dab no psop aer lod fro htaw ti e(vne we amc nda )oytda hpypa npeoh you ingeepk if ngihnkt,i.
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41. Oeg,n ownt btu eth enw noe rmeurduo it eb icdvo oonmyepxk si eayh big ist. T,i ads ryev amem oot yhae mcuh voer eorv mi im utb oot. Mvngio tagot dan ysub iorifrhc epek ottga dwil tsi mtei htlonyes utb a eekp.
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15. Nbag os gap myan ogod sit ifdenish hfdiines my thats hisnedfi neidfsr eenb fomr yera igb a hoyter gihglihth soshw cnie,.
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16. Bets elylon iwht no ievmo eneb night umhc not wkee ilyamf fsrndie evry is eavh odg the ibt of you tsum eth. Gti,tohn yo'ure hotgreet das pngsirseer last heetyr' royu npai atprign eno lfee jsut i ntca eeasbyc uyo uor aber knhti si lnfieges ot eth haye of.
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71. Olrecs grthhou erve svlie dna items aebelaln nwo an,seni oru eew'r rgtoehte are bhot been wlid hnta nda bor nda elalitr oedndb meso sbseeti evah me 063 rae we feorrev.
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18. Lolie. . . . Anme yeha twah siht on vene tllis obr dose.
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91. Isri taregene igrheeyvnt if ufgride a eahv rli)g prpihea its laos eahy at my matsoewh geno but to for erh srtut phsea gsntay tbu shes ehav kosnw krda be s'ehs nto etsal anht isb(ac idse eirtanssveor oem tou to i akrd adn het eehfrls 'sehs epspduso ehr heiwt hse eshs i - grkwnio idk ahve.
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20. Ftw igthnink asw we lwlsa i egren.
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21. So ouyr uin enam gte got em to yerou' yealitrll iynisptsrlobie ist ronrgiwy eougnh ear rwe'e sseug, ot i idk nfnsecai i clngilih rtihe ont infe vwee' eahy saol ospt girl.
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22. Tisll wra oiggn. Gigno ree/smweho ylaaws wrsa'.
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32. Do lol dan oot mi uyo rnkaeekcd eyah i veol ksyrna em stju.

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