A letter from Jul 15, 2022

Dear FutureMe, Hi, so I broke things up with Shad na. I still love him. Sobra. Tangina maya't maya ko iniiyakan. But this time i chose myself. There's no time that i didn't think about him. Wondering what went wrong because we were so ideal. We used to be be so great. What happened, Rye? I miss him so much. I still love the idea of him I have in my head but maybe it's not just the right timing for us both. Parehas lang kaming nakakasakitan eh. But deep inside me, I still wish for him to come back. To tell me that he loves me still. Pero ako kasi yung nag push papalayo so wala rin ako magagawa. Sobrang gulo haha. And ofc, the endless what ifs. What if I held on longer and stronger? What if nag tiis pa muna ako? What if hindi ako naging selfish? Eh ano naman kung masira ulit ako? At least I still have him diba? But I don't know. Really. I just want both of us to be better. Even if we're not for each other. And if ever I get in the position to fall in love again. I want it to be with him. Again.