A letter from Jun 03, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hiya ******, how ya doin? Obviously, today is the 3rd of June. You're going up to Dublin tomorrow, hope you have fun. You're gonna be 16 in 2 days (no ****) So to start things off, how was 5th year? What's your favourite subject? Least favourite subject? Favourite teacher? Least favourite teacher? Here are the teachers you are currently banking on having: Mr Conboy for spanish Ms Jones for art Ms Healy for business Mr Dowdican or Mr Hedderington for history (not) Mr Hanratty for maths Whats it like being in a class with all the previous 3rd years? Are they annoying? I hope you make friends with some of them, you need some different friends. Do you have a girlfriend/ partner? Pleasee say yes. Got a crush on anyone? On this topic, how was pride? The lesbian apocalypse in going on rn, it is so much fun, so many lesbians!! Your follower count rn in 420 (hehe), what is it now? Your favourite song rn is Mary on a Cross by Ghost and your favourite book is Last Night at the Telegraph Club. What's your favourite song and book now? Rn in terms of music you like Pheobe Bridgers, Mitski, Lorde, Vundabar ( since the past 2 years) and a bit of Florence and the Machine. Who do you like now? What book are you currently reading? Rn you're watching bones. What are you watching now? How was the rest of Kenobi? On a scale of 1/10, how sad was it? How was bad batch s2? Did anyone leave/die? Did cody die? (please say no) Who showed up in s2? How was Tales of the Jedi? How was Andor? Mandalorian s3? Ahsoka (if it came out)? You still on that star wars discord server? Met any friends irl who like star wars? What does your room look like now? I hope mam let you put up a ton of posters. Got a career path yet? Does it have to do with history or art history? How's things with Rosanna? Nicole situation? How's Alannagh? Has Linda gotten married yet? Any new hobbies? Do you still have shaved sides or have you grown them out? Gotten any taller? (probably not) What makes you happy right now? How was the cruise?! Has anyone died? If you don't realapse, you'll be 4 years clean of self harm, so congrats. If you do relapse, I'm sorry, you probably felt horrible afterwards, or not, who knows. But I don't think you will relapse. Do you feel like you can be more honest and open with people? Are you happy? Did you ever ask for to go see a doctor to see if you have ADHD or did you just push that to the side? Since now until you get this letter: What is you happiest memory? Funniest memory? Saddest memory? Something you wish you could go back in time and change? Something that you learned a lesson from? A person you are happy you met? Biggest achievement? Biggest change in your life? Has how you see yourself changed much? For better or for worse? Have you learned to love your smile? I hope you can fully view being a lesbian as something good and beautiful, and not something bad. You don't always see it as something bad, but when you do, it goes deep. I don't think that will ever fully go away though, but that's alright, I can live with it. I hope it's still something important to you. I hope family wise, everything is alright, as alright as it can be. **** can hit the fan at any moment. It'll never be whole, but we know this, and we can't change it, no matter how much we would like to, it'll never happen. I don't think you'll ever get fully used to it, but it's understandable. If **** does happen between now and when you recieve this, I hope it isn't too bad, and if it is, well what can you do eh. I hope that you are somewhat happy with who you are. Sometimes you aren't, but somethings, you cannot change, and you have to understand that. If you have to live with some of the ugly parts of being you, I hope you learned to embrace them, and see a little bit of beauty in them, whatever they may be. If you can't change what it is, change how you percieve it. I hope that you can be who you are, without feeling weird or guilty about it. Not everyone will like you or what you do or what you like, and thats okay. **** them anyways. Lots of Love, From, Practically 16 year old you :)) xxx

Epilogue

5 days later

5th year was a strange year, I still don't know how to think of it, it went by so fast omfg, but overall, I think it was good
fav subject...

Nlgihes tihsoyr blabpyor or is.
For uyo fva (ufck ujtsbec smath sm tar ro letas. Gean).
Vaf mr is bpor creaeht. Hayel ms ro oehnnrttgieh.
Ms. Fucgnik gnae %100.
No rm. Hnsisap ocoynb for.
Sm aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa agne.
Layeh hsse :( ngvalie sm utb issb!euns rof.
Rm orf (tub othisyr sm nnerje. Fro nntheriehgto il!!eg)shn.
Ubt 2 het mr at fro mt,sah eth srtat sm mhnots ttaanhry yrea orf of atb nenyk.
Olt sarey nt'are ehmt edam ba,d a twih rfdsein het dr3 of oevprsiu i.
Evah no i ftus otdn a fg.
No ucshr.
Was os ufn !zanga!im! cumh derpi.
Sa bealsni eray llwe slyacoppae tshi.
Ttah oflelwro 00+5 :cac no ountc.
By by osng fva cfoiint bkrae or rn is laxe g uyro vretieal nljiue wnag.
Nrgay fva nlog to ywa book is etalnp amsll a teh.
Polpe,e hmuc sa the mchu smae rn ettrpy bamye ont uyo tsmkii ekil. Dad wen to ungeyisbo to teh si dnba tisl a.
To by mi geoger nr boatu 8149 tatsr ewlolr.
Flsei learny the :( ngtcwhia r,n 'im x im eifdinsh.
.
Oogd rsta rwsa notd fans keil emso tub utsj ,mio ws ,it bokeni aws elki didnt epelop. Ti geiv id a 18/0 olsdi. Dsa aws qiute it. .
2s wsa rpyett oogd bb. Tche ddie fcugkin. Ehtc cdoy is but tno is ,dead. Aslo asw ogt cohsk htat ievl eb a of edpovtelmne ceaartchr ,thb dkin mhuc on,t ot too doweall to eh tbu. Eairkbng drunog ynbodo esowhd up.
Was dogo tjot.
Aws daonr thta but lal hucm it aedtkl gmn,zaia uatbo nodoyb.
Ti dgoo, ansso,es as saw gdoo het was not s3 oterh dmaon as gdoo tbu.
Itddn emoc out oaashk yte.
Not meraony eth on eevrrs realyl htb.
No (:.
Orom u!p rosepts edb, eosm enw ce,tarp uyo uble eth yuro deno swall got eyrg aer mreo n,ow.
Meuuysm oy yebam to ihwt or wloud ouy ty,iorsh do itnsemogh od oraeoagcyhl iklr sftfu.
Si h,e oasannr si ohw ti ky.
Kaoy ig.
Eenb sephtipa sochlo eftl hse's lo)l czu( hes.
Fo iwndged ryae is ntxe hte juen.
On ewn bhiesob.
I heva slilt hmet.
No futs.
To nunys salo ,nigaa hangiv hte dytus tsi nad nserdfi tfac not.
Irsuce swa !amzign!a!!.
(osh)pow ciaenrteh idde.
On ot nodt tnaw trieeh serela,p.
Nac knhti i i.
I shit neommt ihntk i ma ni ,nr pyhap tselata.
. . . . . . . . . . . . No inmovg.
Ro oensar orme rof pihpstae rdeip rdie tath sub to rbpyabo mrye:mo omse.
?? enfnutsi :omryme.
Nmatieroc ietrachnes sstedad meoy:mr.
I ,vehi aphpy lppoee mi teh hatt ostmly eth p,leeop or etm fwe orfm unajlai a.
Ieehva:cntem oseht aadwsr mcnreoey swaard ta pu hheeeh rgnkcai gebsgti all teh.
Igtgesb i:fel dki in gnehca my.
G,eanvhs omes seom e'iv berte,t for for roswe.
Ahn.

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