A letter from May 3rd, 2022

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, For the record I still think about ***** most days. I still dread the idea of spending my last days in a hospital bed strapped to a ventilator or an oxygen tank and I'm still pretty determined to do something about it before I get to that stage. I do think about the effect a suicide (or self-euthanasia) would have on Kira - but I think (if I handle it right) in the long term it would be better for her to know I was in control and doing what seemed right to me than to see me suffering and struggling to breathe for god knows how long. That could be self justification - but who can I talk to about it?

Epilogue

4 months later

Well here I am three and a half years later and my lungs are...

Sebtla smloyt. Ot den a'cnt feli em to i trdoco eftno ofr do 'lli if nad od veha own a my tge i tboua yse knith eehwtrh it. .
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Cusaiidl edreepsds ton nda dan mi' tslli. I v'ei hsti idnm hosw tsih doluhs tiarl aym nede jsut adn cet htta nuosd leeav to a ever leph awnt mtasetrndoe to ndodutceme ot htgtuho guhohtr.
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Hatn fro it no mose oehlw the ahs aysre tbeert eneb is fiel. Tslil ullu i era dan oodg adn pahpy. Ltsaeb adn icmneo my ulrayerlg im' givasn is. Nda hiwhc fra tlfa aer dgoo ym suol nad ym a ngogi 6s0 ie'v rof tgo angedr is lyurp(e a epsca wne os llwe nyari)gmia.
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Logn ot !os ethy do unieontc aym.

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