A letter from Jan 24th, 2022

Dear FutureMe, It's currently 9:30 am on a Monday, half an hour before my Italian class, and I'm sitting here writing this. Well, also waiting for a Trader Joe's quiche to heat up in the oven, but in the scope of things that feels irrelevant. Today is exactly one (1) month away from your 21st birthday, and all I can feel is existential dread. It's been over a month since I went to visit Arabella in Tacoma, and I want to get back so bad. But, I have to finish school, as pointless as it feels, since I've made it this far. Only, like, 5 more months or something like that. It feels so long and so far away, but I know that June will be here before I know it. I just can't stop thinking that this is my life. I know it isn't really going to be the rest of my life, since I have plans to pack it up & change everything once I graduate, but it feels endless. I also just spent the last week & a half holed up in my room thanks to getting covid at my shitty pet hospital receptionist job. But like I said, 5 months isn't really that long, is it? I'm not going to send this that far into the future, to see what sort of progress I make after I graduate. So, I have some questions for you. First, and most importantly, did you actually graduate?? Like, there's no reason you wouldn't graduate, but the fear that I'm going to mess up and somehow not be allowed to graduate terrifies me, so I'd like the reassurance that you actually made it through college. Second, were you actually able to move to Tacoma? If not, is there somewhere else you went? Literally, anywhere but Santa Maria, please. Don't be like your parents. Don't regret never leaving and exploring and learning about yourself. Please do not make that same mistake, even if the change seems hard. Third, are you finally not fuckin single? Like, for gods sake, it's been years since you've seriously dated someone. Could you, like, get a grip? I'm kidding (mostly), and I hope you still love yourself, which I know is hard sometimes. Fourth, what are you doing with your hair?? I'm kinda at a loss as to what to do with it right now, and I get it cut for the first time in like 3 months on Wednesday. Pretty excited, if I do say so myself. Last, who stuck around? Who are you still friends with, and who do you talk to?? Are Arabella & Trojan still around? What about Sam & Alysa? And Jasmine? What happened with Aidan & those idiots? Were you able to make friends after college?? Whenever I feel awful and terrible and scared for the future I like to come here and read the epilogues, so please remember to write back to yourself so you can return the favor to whoever else is going through it right now. Love you, dumbass Your past self P.S. Did you finally get a cat?? Please tell me you did.