A letter from Dec 26th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear Future Me, Hey! Long time no see, obviously its been a moment. How is life going? How are your grades? Hope you got the grades you really wanted to get, well us. Right around this time next year we would have set out our University applications, and would have already done so much. I am so proud of you. I know you could so much. I love you. Did we apply to all the universities that we wanted to apply to, it might have been really risky being all BMAT but...? Hope we did that application to Cambridge? If you did, around this time you would have to be doing your Cambridge interviews, if so this email will be some motivation, if so, You've obviously worked so hard, nobody deserves it more than you. I know how hard you've worked (yeah duh I'm you). You are just as capable as everyone else that is going to be there. Please just do you A-Level revision and you will be fine. You have done the hardest part. I can promise you that. Well until you reach medical school but you already know that. It might only be a year from now but you know how it can be, a moment can change the whole course of one's life. How are your friends? Still friends with all the people you made friends with? Even better made more friends? Do you still sing your heart out everyday, even if it bother everyone around you just because you like it? Do you still play the Piano? How's it going with learning the guitar? I hope its going better than what going with right now- How's the dog? How's Dad and our Sister doing? Do we get the diagnosis that we've been waiting for? (probably not but its a good wish to have). How's it been in the relationship department? Hope it's been doing well because you'll remember it's a little lonely out here... Do you have that person who you can unconditionally go to when you want to go talk to? Someone that I really need right now. I really do hope everything is going much better than what is going now. Most importantly, how have you been mentally? Really? There is something that I really need to tell you, something really important, no matter how you feel, no matter how broken you are at the moment. I will always love you. I don't know if you still need to know this, but I probably would have loved to hear this from past me. There is nothing that could stop me from loving you. No matter what, little you will love you with all she has. P.S. Faith says Hi Written, To, 16 Year old you. 17 Year old you.

Epilogue

42 minutes later

Hi past me,

Oh how much I would love to scoop you up and give you the biggest hug ever. I'm so happy you decided to live. Best. Decision. Ever....

Dan ihggitl,wthe tish rifst sotl 'nreta rjewley ewnt sredalei eray p,aytr you yoru a of ltos yuo got to. Ouy eth lneaerd fo htat swa olev lla, to uesfylor gbgties htngi. Laelry adn lal mttersa 'taths ahtt. Nca ohw l,niseg hesca stetlhsig ievg n,ttaoteni of hvae sugy erdsia hgtohu adn asy, i no lilts saddatnrs you bti egornl ouy the yuro. . . Yonl ecryentl ghhtou. Aer ab*,a gindo to glon og! i dmacpore listl ew ot ew nda uro ywa amew,oes hnkit maowsee uro igogn earsdg a well ed,e vhea aer.
Tcan' nad niythgna) og back usjt i sieldrea deti i(. .
So 'tsi esnani dmea you have red,sfin ynam. Nca a lrgurea talk nad ot gnieb unmha uyo usgy ilke. .
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Rtuedo eamd cordot isvesma ceserahr in adn go ot eocemb uje,n lademci anth a a dedcdei onti we. Gnihktin didedce ouy artlnau to to sicsnce,e bsayliacl owt do btauo ipplade dna rewe. Niu ys,pciishbtio awtn eardsg a now dna mwaesoe wot ouy ffsore dan hwti to eocmeb. Do i anc ew it nhkti. Itngihkn uoy clu obatu are ro ot hudarm ingog tnylurrce. Het gsvei oerff if pdsnede oyu cul. At ghirt ogthhu it,weinerv got a itf mdesee weer reobef i,tem hety tbu dermabcgi yuo ediecdd gthri it jtcderee het dyal,s mrfo we. Em ldwou r,aye hvea iggmainin tsal agndrei dsretahte tish. Gnorw so ew ,cumh so btu yegnehritv ggnio aveh wlel si dna. .
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Nnthygia in anc to ,eht nmt,meo ti ehwn egnhac ti cna a semoc. Was dnifteerf ot okob all one tkoo nirieotcd fro to otni you ielf othrw uyo a hewlo erda in ti. Ist olwfol ot deddiec dna daytse true yoru uyo ryvee sya,s erhta tawh.
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Aer nggio my iiprgvomn!,)! i the pnoi,a yas is the ylap i gtruai nd(a i sltil rthea ew veha gsni to tuo aterg adn. Okya btu an'ct rodchs yuo od tis wef a. . . Nggoi tub do tcan' wlle smto mteh ist you tegra of. Lolce 'veuoy geyainnr pu giana, a kcpide asol rof nad liniov hte alyelr. Cusmi aotbu altgkin oyu fo soetubylal anc sdad lla tell the item i isck yuo. .
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Ncrrtleuy dad foot iodng of is adn at tseirs rea eth god het ngieslep my maewoes ed,b. Uoy daraob enwt mayn was so no acryz ti rpsit. Uoy yuo xorepdle innendceeedp. Ni adn cnie nmtapoh of eapro nisoatt hte to refe a olnnod hocac yb wsa dier enev tgo wiki a teh ouy. Pina isltl irsets ni i het gto 'uttbs rcel,os our oru dan uhcm. Uoy itno the meca dvemo hsiw oury mor,o teur laelmrs. 'eantr tparec sfloro eht aroenmy tsi yr!caz.
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Tog sotm het ew fustf entawd of ihtw dgdsoaeni ew whit sodrtoc' eht. Got yuo etagr ahtery,p nda tou viretnehyg rtuden. It dah easeubc akc,b ihst we btu ynma work bunoce saalyw yuo mdae phridshas we yera,. Inef aevh ttpery adeersdce, simrieagn yruo oyur is onigg eespl umch. Uoy dieosgnda tslli aer wigtina but rtamtetne get ot otg ioeespdsrn tiwh hatt. Dineitamoc ouy aiucgns esorw the ta meit no eerpssidno teh mignka ewer asw het. Utb eht a new sillt wne ,rwgo rea to itwh mhcu lkei dha uyo p!onrse eatnimodci so.
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Ohuthg hoecic wno emayb glne,is we by sti tlsil. Ongig but epke soturis msart shoalse rtehe yuo eebn have ofr het. No wthi ddi eth yuo a flal ygu in usb velo. . Mih seokp you evnre even hohutg ot. Nad oyu u,p r!acyz aws itsll ouy utghoh sceni btuao aev'htn him imh m,ay a tknih it he uarayjn tlo pppdeo eesn. Het awht ntwsa ikhtn hrate btu iyrnrgwo itb tsi a i. Ew fo hatt ,evne ceiaslp llwi rouy ifihsmec aehv ouy all to woh lla hsit adn ubt lal sceuad eray enmosoe eth htta uyo dna td'on eoburslt hvea hvae lstli ineslt. Ni uyro lla oeypl,n otsm spreon tub la,l 0222 hte aktl uyo oyu ktal ot idersfn lseraide llwi uoy fo tosm ot eht fo. Ursyolef.
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W!eeosam coskm ebne i ,gtear gdnio dryae rfo ,atnlyelm ettigng evah our. Nwo as osla leelv na od hnslwe,afs sola sicyhps uyo a. Het won in ot ilef thtas sye yuo a,ehdt cetbjus itg,hr uyo jebutsc twna lctiaeyv is eth uprsue. Woh si tath? fynun.
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Ps. Raey tifah ih asdi a oga tath i alos ot oldt seh em. Oll.

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