I hope you are doing great. I am sure this next cycle is full of new opportunities and blessings for you. With this new summer solstice, I will make sure to enjoy my days as much as I can.
I'll write to you some things about my life at the moment. I'm on holidays right now, after another rough year at college. I feel happy to rest and having time to work on myself. This month I've been learning about my childhood trauma, my anxiety issues and how to heal. I am doing great, but obviously this healing journey will take time. I know that you are in a better position than I am at the moment. And if you are not -for some reason- just remember that everything happens, that the pain and suffering is only momentary. You are gonna be alright and you're gonna shine again pretty soon.
Healing, loving ourselves and recovering from so many years of suffering is a whole journey with its ups and downs. Always remember how much you got hurt, but you never died. You're still alive and stronger than ever, and I'm so happy and proud of you for this. Keep going.
I've been thinking about my goals for the next year, and they are focused on working on my mental health because it will improve my life in general. I made myself the question "if I had only one year to heal, what would I do?" And I wrote a list of the things I'm working from now on:
1. Learn to process emotions and communicate them. Boundary-setting.
2. Notice my negative/toxic behaviors and stopping them.
3. Take care of myself and learn to love myself.
4. Meditate/journal/affirmations/write feelings everyday
5. Learn about mental health.
6. Face fears
7. Learn to date in a healthy way.
8. Be a better friend
9. Exercise. (Including my physicak therapy!)
10. Practice being happy on my own
I know that my goals might change a bit or I will add some more with time, but I think those are the most important ones to being a healthy happy person.
I am also practising celibacy since yesterday. I've been "celibate" since december 2019, but I also won't masturbate from now. I want to learn how to control myself and use that poweful energy for a bigger purpose (like following my dreams, or studying, for example).
Again, I really hope you're doing okay, that you're surrounded by people you love and who loves you, that your life is full of blessings, that you have a job or different sources of income. I know that you will be doing great, this next year has many miracles waiting. I hope you found them! Feel free to tell me about your year.
Remember I love you and I always will be here. You are strong.
- May.
Epilogue
7 months later
Hello, me from the past. Thank you for your sweet words. Sometimes, when I read something I wrote years ago I find myself suprised by my own eloquence.
I'm replying...
Rfate this to eltert a ti ecgevinir wehil. Drea obfeer if it rbremmee i i ndot' rllyae. Tnkih i i tidd'n. .
A 'mi yloeufsr ahev in lief glad ot atth iowngkr eu'yro eebrtt. I'm shtngi ot it kepe ttah say tetrbe ngiettg yaphp get dna. And is adn jbo mdirae eltnam lleyra ahetlh tsardwo wingrok uyo a rof on gankti ti uasmrta i anotci htouhg usssie. Is but si euy,jnro hatt trap a foinegll teh ta oswrt etals oeng. Is inthk lpeorfwu ttah hnat onwk really we i won evre chum erlavlo mdni tanh geomhtnsi kn,iht ew si iwll moer mreo nad iatmotnrp so atht era lrpefwou ew uor. Hngntayi acn ngahytin ew hhruogt we atnw tge adn resu gte 'mi. Tod'n ratmet csmcuciaetnrs.
.
Lsaog inaag orf dnfi siecllayp cgchnike i uoyr ,rutaem meht nad dna gea odgo yrou rfo eht eayr own m'i. .
Lwnotud' taweerdtuf/or/r"jnmoitinimafias/aelt ithng y,aaswny i figelens d"ryeyvea eht od. Emso nad amek do lkei i yrleofsu huldos ikel taht no'dt rkhomeow efesl od of a esucbae si't eaycrnse ot reoch, to it and ecivtistia lefe nto tepy eorfc eahv kile godo nikht to ouy ouy ehsotimng toshe.
And eranl uabto ddi hetlah, gshnit ehu,oisvbra elmtan ermo aynm i igcenpsrso eoosnmit. Can nda fslyem say isewr eefl ipyahpl a i i adn mi' opnser i pacel elki a in etretb voel own. I yarell -enstoccpfle dan hsgtni it me hghi si in acluyatl i gdoo ilnpgeh haev edresve flei a ttha gte teh. Onw in wnok nhtgis sotm crpiouse of royhwt i i'm the fiel. .
.
Emeermrb mesrmu eltetr teh iths roetw i i. I gaain odl nrtconeigec i nhfiirpesd nad the ym thwi gidiblnu ahd rienfd asw. Wnte ouy ehs wiht and lseiv in soact teh snedp ehtre ehr sermmu eht. Mtie ti so oyu nda geatr a petns fun teehr aws. Rlyael hcae re,h ihtw hroet nsrdfie vsile in rwee' tlasdu sllit seloc tuirsgpnpo uro. .
Treaf loleegc rattdse rnpneois- uoy tt,ha. M'i lrleya gte llyare lelegco nto abecues toin caoelerrtorls a it nnago eilf oll si. Od ratef ubt lal elwl uyo. Usxanio feil nad ustj sles dswhei acn wsa idecaacm bsuecae i ti eamdga eslfym ookt osrysulie lelray i less. My ixteany that eropplyr mneigshot asw eahedl rnvee saw. Tlo lkowgeedn nuf uyo cloegle o!to lltsi fo nad ixrepeneces !ti tiaitsei,vc efsdin,r ritsp, on ,nasywya uleitbufa kwrngio omre binrgs a. Srdtate ta eacslss vegi i fwy-haal tnuvriiyes my uor ot tgrih won crraee adn tmsloa i'm ruhghto. Ni ta eray i'm iwrnogk a 22 sa old ngaon eno rsyae ubt ratts orfrospse nisssaatt. Neth e'vi a of oklo tno dogo eitm husc ideopr i isestomme but ni hrtso owh eou,ngh eefl fra i ocem. Now loucd em see i swdhei yuo. Emor dluow lto dleerax a lfee yuo.
.
Ylwasa ni fvaro ni okwr dne ruo ieerhygvtn uto eth. Eht we teh wrrstie oru era rou of aectrros of rslaite,ie yrsto. Rutuef eth nawt eht meit bnyodemgi endps fo rheygvitne lsse dan in ahs utuerf hte woh oerm ehav yuo ywonrgri etast mite ot ttah ubtao sprone. Egionr tereh dna is luefosry lla eavbo armescitcunc keep onvilg aevethwr gshnit.
.
Liwl i elvo dan syawal reeh i mbmerree you eb. Yuo aer rtosgn.
- tu)frue( may.
This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please
Sign in to FutureMe
or use your email address
Create an account
or use your email address
FutureMe uses cookies, read how
Share this FutureMe letter
Copy the link to your clipboard:
Or share directly via social media:
Why is this inappropriate?