A letter from the past

The one thing I most want to know about my future is .... Dear Viv, I just hope you are okay and finally at peace being alone. Some people are meant to be alone and that's fine. You and OB were never meant to be neither were you and Ifeanyi. You will only compound issues by trying to be with anyone. Take a break, relax, rest. Being single forever is no the worst thing in the world. You are better off alone. You can be big aunty to your siblings kids. Trust me, they need someone like that. Someone they can go visit since there's no grandma. And you are okay with children you can comfortably return to the owners when you're tired. You've got a great deal. You can write a book. You could just stay up all your life watching TV. You could die whenever and no one cares or would be too saddened. Trust me you're like a bird, air, the wind... Right now, it's hard. Just finish your Msc, do your PhD. Earn as much as you can. Just be happy. Be at peace. Don't be envious of your friends or people. Don't do or wish anyone bad. Please I beg you Vivian listen to me. Don't date or get married. Trust me I beg you. Please. Vivian Please. Just continue the way you are. Bringing kids of your own here is the worst mistake you could ever do I'm serious. Please Listen to me. Please Vivian. Just be with yourself. Everything you ever need and would ever need, you can have it. Chill please. This life is short. Stay alone. Please I beg you. Listen to me. You're not missing out on anything trust me. Nothing at all. If you cant stay single with yourself, how can you expect anyone to stay with you. Please Vivian, there are lots of ways to entertain yourself. Please I'm giving you wisdom. Pray to God for strength. Do away with bad friends and evil people. Just be by yourself biko kwa. You shut them all in 2019 - 2020. Who said you can't do it again. I'm begging you, just stay alone. Don;t say had I known I would have just stayed alone. Now, your only regrets are I should have been home and I shouldn't have broken up with him. But what is done is done. He is dead just like your mom. There is no use crying over spilt milk. It is finished, that part of your life is done. Tomorrow can not find you saying " Had I known I would have given OB a chance" You made a mistake,you tried all possible options to fix it and he said NO. He doesn't want to be with you. Just stay alone because there are so many other reasons why. 1. You're damaged. You are. And people usually end up with their kind so you will be matched with a damaged person as well. 2. You will keep looking for OB in a man and my dear you cant find him so why bother. 3. If the relationship or marriage goes bad, you will still be regretting not being with OB So, my dear, let this just be your last regret please. It;s obvious you still have to be alive, hale and hearty but I know regrets hurt worse. Please Vivian, stay alone. BE alone. Be by yourself. Sex is nothing. Lot's of women stay without sex trust me. Don't masturbate before you attract evil spirits into your life. Time flies. Before you know, you will be past marriageable age like 45 so then the pressure to get married will be taken off. People will just see you as an aunt and allow you join mothers in events. You'd be happier by yourself. Don't give in to anything. Right off the top of my head, I can tell you how being single will help you. Wait till you finish healing first. You'll be fine bro.