A letter from Nov 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, Hey, so this is me from November 2021, no clue what the heck life is doing with me. Everything sucks, like EVERYTHING. I can't say anything is good, if I say it, it gets spoiled too soon. Why? Actually, why won't ***** choose me? Is there something's actually left to live? I am under verbal abuse, I am not at all fine mentally, I fear losing the people I love if I continue with this mentality. How, how much more of this is left? Just suffering, and pretending everything to be fine? How the hell do I forget my past wounds and scars, and why should I? My pre-boards are here in like 20 days, and I am trying to be okay with them. I am sending this somewhere in April because by then I hope you might have been done with grade 10, and school life completely. I know, it's hard, it's very fuxking hard to cope with this stress and your panic attacks are worse, but I hope when you receive this, hopefully, things are fine. I want you to embrace the upcoming life, though it's very much modest of me to anticipate that. Well, more than this seeming as a depressive read, I want to make an inquiry if everything's okay because everything right now feels as if in a stretched version and very elongated for an unknown amount of time. I want to check in, gosh now I should stop being so sad. Never mind, I hope you the best, Believe In Yourself >>3. Love, Anisha (November 2021)

Epilogue

about 4 hours later

dear past me,
damn! i feel and understand the pain you went through. it just gave me a revival of how sad things were back then, literally...

Sa uyo saw aids it t,rows. Tbu odog envehtygri ys,e ash ofr ge,ndhca. Eb emrt sit tjsu eekws iwht gonna llit mlca thi eebermcd seaec nagon nowd eb ntxe 'lyluo 'luylo tbu nda mero, be yuo oend 1, aer wef esorw het mmnoet. Wndo hacrm het naiag reafybru uxecnteedp srurpesi onang aranuyj ety the aer iveg osmt yb esphtiap bunr dna whihc iwll oyu. N,widhllo ryuo ouy'll iongg tanlem eht to uyol'l eerwh eb eiscovrd ktsai,sme sealrie ssorecp thomn cork tstha laylfin tseat si het tbu obot,tm ahcrm the wheer is nda eth iht. Mr fy,i. Na sksuc, dya sawted omwh ohw ouyr txace boerk odtii tsih erwe know te,mi hs'e cine yuo uoy i no. Ohmtns! aehv no,pe eodn fmor with lu'lyo ltisl emit dbrsao 4th1 my lew,l gronw be in nad 10 wlli alip-r amy os nhet uyo cmuh drgea i 6 nda pa,ss eth h72t xent evah. Myinla btu ayst grts,no. Tnmoh kwno henpap uoy, udrpo hgu vueo'y ot i is sit fien ot gngio si tlo a gnano adn nservio to who adn fo teh !cmeo face hgtti fo rae si a cry a,yuorucsoleg 6 foerlusy raf pleaes, tlrea yuo. Elvo admn gt,herhfi inef dogo nad hntsgi eb ecmo i eyt to umhc ouy are os. Irtgh veol, e'caus s,ey eth to oyu dna ietp!apsh erspupo a tmos nwo heetr aer si.
Aog hh)haa oldob 6 royu si cpdteeidr peyt rysae catyelx -sp( uyo !a-veb tahw.
,elvo.
(piarl 2)220 inaash.

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