A letter from Oct 2nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I am so proud of you at how far you have come in the last 10 years. From where you were at the age of 20. Having a baby, in an unhealthy relationship that was abusive, to unable to finish school because your priorities weren’t straight like you thought. To a lot of partying and living. You made a lot of great memories but hid a lot of pain. Right before turning 30 you wanted a healthier version of you. You took your mental health serious and put in work for yourself. Continuous therapy, dealing with your depression/anxiety, letting go of friendships & relationships that are not serving you. Creating an atmosphere that is healthy for you and your babies. Being more present for your babies. For your 30’s you have set the Intentions of peace, love, and happiness. To be a better version of yourself. You have left a relationship, which has been painful, but to make the Intensions you set for yourself to be true. You have realized life is too short to be Unhappy. & all through your 20’s you were Unhappy. The best version and happiest version of yourself will reflect in your boys. They too will be the best versions of themselves. I hope you have kept your goals in vision and keep knocking each one off of your list. Because you are capable of anything you set your mind too. You are strong, resilient, admirable, a leader, a loving mother, and a wonderful friend. Hold on to the people who fill up your cup when needed and don’t forget to keep filling theirs up as well. 💜 Love always, Me. You have grown so much from 20 until 30. Keep growing & glowing!

Epilogue

over 3 years later

Dear Me,

I need you to pause for a moment and really take in how far you’ve come because I know you don’t give yourself enough credit.

Life didn’t get...

Erseai enco you ehpod dulwo keli ti aylaicmlg. Namy in a,fct ti tog ni awys, eaiverh. Nda tou obtua ks,ctsabe ludo akbtea,herr ovy’ue of tegiwh scfn,onoui ltak teh ikdn eppoel htta ciaerrd natomlioe mots tdon’. Yuo are yte ehre nda ltsli. Ignyrt litls. Usthr tllsi ghsinooc nvee be,trte ti wnhe.
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Shit wldor taps iefv gohbrtu ifle toin trhoena oyu r,syea het in uaubetfil. Three onw a era eorhtm fo oyu. ,yestfa idnuegac dan hwo shmuna yuo ot oolk titlel reeht ov,le orf. You hwo eosm omer gnivgi uoy them eiazrle thna ouy are idspete ayd,s lefe.
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Ricienlebd - uoy ddi snigeothm uoy atdueragd. Tfle iehdisnf ncoe uyo ,2502 epobsilmsi in hawt. To now be uoy who yihenrgvet fo uyo ewa htat o?ag psot hse had of in lowud eyasr isorvne.
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Laeev in lpdlue dema a uyo hgthou haert naiag vene dteste tath yrou lepd,ey hceoci cbka htorf ot nad nbee dna yuo sah sinoiralehtp het ash. A sksaewne ’stwan ttha. Swa a thresgtn ttah. Whortg swa atht. Hnwe atth enve urs,eolfy it ocoigsnh inyrrgifte nda ureacnnti ltfe aws uoy.
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I you knwo rhgti elfe onw lsot.
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Dkis ouy dna tsbe wokn of nsrevoi fro sa hyvae, ue’yro eht ont keli surofely eatsiod,l fele wshgnoi i up uryo. -regvnhito ucold wihs uoy appenh elef you usjt hppay, and pu hole,w ienlagh fere cuold i weka htta nwok dan.
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Otn itsh rwoks woh utb t’tsha. Nda gfalnii yu’reo ahtt dte’nso nmea.
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Era ta auerqs nto yuo cabk eno.
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Uyo nsmoeoe otlso rae sah woh nwo. Rwaessaen. Epeeirecnx. Aenisdrbuo. Ihgtr feel niceegzro enve ryuo ont own olud coeorldntl by tyo—uspd if nigaa are m,eyrona ryou blyilnd engbi rouy niyx,aet htye dco, mhte ,nidesrepso ouy ruoy.
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Genlaih a si einl tno tasthgir. Ysems ’sti. Olsop ti. Essuap it. Tssetrar it. Oimsmeest oyu like ae’vthn donuen fseel tr,egyihevn ti utb uvy’oe dna.
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Nceo bauot rtgosn, yuo uoy taht wnmoa reiinlets tilsl etrwo ear.
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Ntah wno eoyr’u oemr atth ual,calyt.
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Twah cesbeau wno alfl gigno ilek ouy rapta it adn eekp ot ltisl know elfes.
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Ont of aelcp a uvlrasiv elfi uyro ofrm rutht, yuo are duienbrilg.
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Loadewl yrou miet ouy aket rea ot.
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Dalwloe smae rea dna hte tmei flpouhe sda at lfee yuo to.
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Lldoewa not you it tey lla ot vhea are out difrgeu.
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Is shit: eatmstr twha.
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Era nytgri ouy.
You are nocsihgo etrbte.
You aer siltl rhee.
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To mhogtnise be nad udrpo is fo htat.
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Disk dont’ efpctre ndee of yuor a uoy orisenv.
Aelr eedn a oen tyhe.
A eianglh eon.
Iwgorgn neo a.
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Ear si yuo atexylc ttah and owh.
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Goign eepk.
Neev on sayd iutqe eht.
Teh sdya on yavhe even.
Efel ouy evne uyre’o ton ilek kniamg ossergrp hwne.
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Uyo eesuabc rae.
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In cmnoiaposs ackb efel redpi ouy and -the veorins ookl ,yad uk,nownn uyo os umhc of hte novde—ra illw neo at shti siittgn wlil fluyorse stgtarni oen.
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Olts ouy ear nto.
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Eht aer fo ni yuo dilemd mnecibgo.
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Tiwh veol,.
💜 em.

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