A letter from Sep 10th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, It's me, You. But 1 year prior. I'm writing this to see how far we've progressed. You remember the time we became severely depressed. Those 4 months, where we struggled to get up during late afternoons, just waking up after overthinking for countless hours until late. The nights we spent venting, through clouds of vapour at the sound, no, the sounds, so melancholic, it left you numb. We started schema-based therapy in June. We took a step forward to save ourselves because we knew that no one was going to be there to help us. When we were bullied for years. When we failed to meet expectations. When we were mistreated despite being kind. There was never anyone there we could share our feelings with. Times changed though. We became this emotionless block of human flesh, hateful, spiteful, but never vengeful. Hateful of ourselves, our surroundings and every aspect of our lives. We're not doing that anymore. It's time to start loving ourselves. I hope you're doing the same. I'm struggling. I do struggle, I do get demotivated, I do procrastinate, I do develop bad habits, but at the same time, I DO want to get better. So in one year, I hope things have gotten better. I hope I'm driving (finally). I hope we can travel wherever. I hope you went on the night city bike ride. I hope you have more self-discipline. I hope you're more fit. I hope you look hella drippy. I hope you have a better fashion sense. I hope you helped your youngest brother's transition into high school. I hope you've started to love yourself. I hope you've developed a bit of a passive income. I hope you've become more emotional. I hope you've developed more social skills, I hope you've got some control over your social anxiety. I hope you'e able to focus again. And I hope for soooooo much more. But baby steps. You've got this lad. If anyone does, it's you. Cause y'know, Ethan hates being complacent. But what do I hate? Well... "I hate wasted potential, It crushes your spirit." Make sure you keep reading them self-improvement books, meditate, work out, watch Motivational videos, inform yourself about mental health, watch Jordan Peterson, Dr. K, Psych2Go and Sisyphus 55. Stay happy! But above, don't be someone you're not. Because that's who I am. And that's not what I want. Please, Take Care! M. P.S. Have I cried anytime during this next year? You know we haven't cried in 3 years. Maybe If I cried I could let loose a bit. Lmaooo

Epilogue

about 10 hours later

To the "me", who had lived in the year, one previous.

We've come far.

I'm thankful, for the fact that you wrote this letter.

Truly, I'm grateful.

Over the last...

Smiet lfte e,ayr deric ta egutgd,rls anym dan we ltso a.
We eresrvpdee tbu.
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4 tdartes iivrdng anlylif iafnlgi i msiet treaf vrig,nid ltbeai test eht. Gismrrasa(b,en ea)war 'im.
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I slilt eistmseom ardh ny,itrseivu ni 'its srltggeu. 'im fo bcaseue but rowk giecffatn aslo i dgion afmllaii tpyrla cueaesb etsnpre eemsr,tes cbutjse eht oru ,rmeo oyln neo twan to eusssi mohe itsh.
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R!okw i of arsetdt kpsniaeg !bjo a.
Roelng pexieceenr sa we orf si ot lahuf,ktnly dan het veslseuro oiwrkng ugalretf ofr ni owkr yiaflm e'rwe ti eht turisontpepio enic i'm as ei,dagn seusb,sin uhmc on.
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Adnetw btu ,iseoniistrblyp jcrtpoe dda sitem of yaser ym nvidoelv feont ti trucner twroh egt ewf lto ,erol ni s'ttha uor a ?uoesvrip ta a sitnsrges, wylaria reebemrm 'tis htat to nad. Oanptmirt ag,lnrine 'wahts 'were has'tt nda.
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,eugohn a ew'er inuflyn ngogi ildohay on wrorotom. Oiessnpvrui our httouwi ftsir lrteanap tpri. Xeiit,ncg konw i. Adn onigrpsea to eraok orf yads r'ewe ddeeah 12. Of miht be a mh,daoo va nda smaz, pgour til'l hitw ,5.
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Ssreupri irsp,rseu.
H?hu so to lewl to epdtcxee cg teamn aliiintyl doresbr j'spana gnebi the saw 'etb wree lhewo otg p,anaj htat easppdrc oyu kicy, ttah revne tbu og. It tsr,elu is si pelope moes htaw oy'n,wk a ti o,ut but pdopdre sa.
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Lsceo w'ere hitw eevr tllis as sa entha. Nya itme adn eanhcg uro nitkh sono wlli i yad hatt ,1 otnd'. Anwt ti n(or ot i od. ).
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Laleyr lsoa neog etidny kiy,vc we to ,etcexyundlep craba and mtsie with ewv'e csloe nda a ethm few got with. .
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Ylon aehv nulstfhigi been i htwi, and lyasaw ahd i ietqu ohgthtu ewf i altks htta eedp hte tbu as oldcu hlle olduw tiedny eahv htane rpoesn be aveh a. .
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Amecknisn ea,tms jv, n,da ypswi osme ew dna kwno ouy drmsu,ta iun eth dmea emus,r ure,bs. Yreevnoe tuo nilgalf dogo tub yneree,vo ,olnttnuefuray bntewee tsill no a htiw wsa uoyr msret hrete. Llor oknw uoy how ew.
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Aevlrl,o.
Tgneto trtebe flse'i.
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Ew nuf nigakm ew we fesndri avhe veha errevhwe nca w'ere yn,emo nad.
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'w?noky t'stah s,eeitomms estg rsustfsel feil utb ifle sllti.
Wthi ppheair mhscae tlas ew wnats' undot'cl quti gleefin eprtahy reay, i nncoect adn erh laet.
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Twon' i sit' but teyrhgvin'se sya ,reeftcp etterb.
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Wgoknri( e'rew dsrep,edes on it tisll. ).
Dan estb riytng ruo.
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Ylo,lsw si yrve ee-lvfslo motnisheg tnygir ot yllsow and do, vopingrmi ew'er ts'i.
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Neriecs,ntm tpsse lslma. .
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Tts'ha emtr!sta tawh.
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Dtdaeop b!y we ievl dna we a hpsear lnifa,yl.
Tiher ache onw! to.
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It mmbereer akem ot reus.
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Uchm ,veol.
Oy,lfurse the ryea rueuft ni neo.

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