A letter from Aug 19th, 2021

Dear FutureMe, I don't know how to start writing. A lot of things happened. No. A big thing happened. Nikhil said to me that he can sense my calmness. I am grateful for how better I feel. So much better than what I was 1 week ago. I didn't know I would start feeling so better so soon. I remember how I didn't leave that last string of hope. I am proud of myself. And right now, nobody is at home, I am alone. And I feel a different kind of lonely. Like, what to do kinda lonely. Life is meaningless kinda lonely. Yes. Life is meaningless but I love it nevertheless. And I am listening to songs on TV and sent the link of the group session but I am alone in the session. So, what? I don't remember him. And when I ponder over my history, I have always been missing something. Sometimes, knowing what, most of the time, not. It was an escape from reality. This is reality. And you tell me? Is it bad? The reality who have been running away from for a long time. Is it bad? Or is it soothing? Why are you afraid of being afraid? Don't be! YOu can ******* do anything. You will find someone, sonal. And when you do, please don't forget me. Because I will always be with you. I will never stop looking after you. I will never stop forgiving you. I will never stop loving you. SO, talk to me. Make me your best friend. And never ignore me for somebody else. Whatever happened was important. It changed you, didn't it? The most important thing you learnt is to speak for yourself. Show your real self to them. And if you are afraid that they will leave, leave them already. Please don't be afraid of people leaving you because you have spent most of your life alone. What are you afraid of? Happy Valentines Day to you! I am always here for you. You are my forever love. And no matter what, you will always have me. I am proud of what you are. How powerful you are! And you are only 19, well, almost 20. You are blessed with an open mind. Use that blessing. You are blessed with an army of people who have got your back. Be there for them the way they were there for you when temporary people left. You have to choose the ones who always stay over the new ones. Prioritise yourself, your work over anybody else. Life is so easy. Life is so good. And I love you.