A letter from Aug 15th, 2021

August 2021 - Three Years Ago What scares me?: Thinking about what on earth I'm going to do with my life. I guess one of the reasons I'm going to university is to stall the scary part of growing up. The facing the future as if it isn't terrifying. Being an adult - not a student - has too many downsides. I appreciate that there are some good things, but surely the bad things outweigh them? - Working in order to survive - Pressure to succeed - Having to be sure of what you're doing - Bills, taxes - Meeting more people in new settings all the time - Life questions - Wondering where your job will lead - Trying to be happy By the time I turn 18 (6 months from now) I know I won't feel like an adult. I will still be at college and as far as I can see the only perk will be legally being allowed to buy alcohol and things like that. None of the real world stuff. I'm over 17 years old and haven't even started driving. The idea of that scares me because first of all it's a big thing to be in control of, and secondly it seems like a huge step towards adulthood. And that's petrifying. Who knows what sorts of things I'll be expected to do by the time I'm 18? Never mind 21 and beyond. What am I looking forward to?: Aside from all the worries about being older, the idea of university does sound incredible. I'm excited to have my own place to stay, lots of freedom, and to be learning something I love. Hopefully I'll make a great group of friends and get all the experiences I'm hoping for. Classical studies as a course sounds amazing and even though I'm not sure what it will lead me on to, it's probably the best choice for me. Aside from studying that I would like to have something going on with film. Editing is a hobby of mine that I would like to keep up, but I don't yet know how. Bristol is known for being a city quite heavily involved in film festivals so if I get in there maybe there will be useful opportunities. However, even if I don't end up at Bristol there will still be options elsewhere and I can always visit if I want to. What are my doubts?: In terms of college, my only real worry is leaving year 2 without having made any friends. Year 1 is over and all I've really done is sit at a table with a few people I know and, quite frankly, waste time with people who aren't like me in a field. No real connections have been made and I fear it will remain that way. I doubt that I have the confidence and character to become a part of the group I talk to most and wonder if I will ever really feel like their friend. Another thing I worry about is what the same situation will be like for me at university. Having struggled so much this year I don't know how I'm going to cope moving to a whole new city and dealing with all the same doubts. It's exciting but there's a lot going on in my mind about what my social life will be like. I will need friends in order to get through my studies - even if I go to parties, doing so without any real connections will feel so empty. I didn't realise how socially unconfident I was until college, and now I fear that I will feel the same way I do now in a couple of years. I really want that to change. I hope that things are going the way you want them to. Write a response to this letter updating yourself on the things that have gone well and those that have turned out the way you worried they might. There are always going to be problems you don't want to face, but maybe in five years or so they will have changed. From yourself, in the past.