A letter from Jun 29th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Hello! Today is 29th june, 2 a.m. You are now 22 years old, but your birthday is coming soon - whole **** 23 years old. Can’t even remember exact age right away. Hah, in 2023 you will be 25. Yesterday you finally came back home, Moscow, from 5-days trip, that emotionally seemed to last for several months. No joke - for 24 hours to be in five cities, three airpots, couple busses and jeep in mountains. You were at the end of earth, the Arctic region. Teriberka. And that is where you were terrified for the first time in your life - that he was going to hit you. He screamed and threatened you. It was hard to leave and you ran as fast as you can. And so you lost a friend. This spring you lost another friend, because you were not in the resource to support her problems. You were scared, how bad her situation was - since childhood. You found a therapist for her and chose yourself. And before all this, in the fall and winter, you were on antidepressants. It was also hard - so much hopeless loneliness, where you were for everyone free psychologist and bank-loan. Except yourself. In January you met a guy, in twitter and you accidentally met for real in June. It was good, but also there was a feeling like it was too early and your roads have not supposed to cross yet. But there was also a feeling, like everything is ahead. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not. Oh girl, few weeks ago you finished university and got scared, what will be now? You have been waiting for this freedom for so long and suddenly here it is. Dear sunshine, I hope by this time you will love yourself more. You will find a job and a city of your dreams. You will have healthy environment. And after two years of work experience you will find out, what life you want to lead. And what kind of master’s degree to choose. And everything will be okay.

Epilogue

2 days later

Hello! Today is 30th June, 8.52 p.m. You are now 24 and very very soon will be 25 years old. And it's been two very fucked up years. Congratulations, you...

Ehtm evrsiuvd. Uobat uufert m aptr durten who e,m of earlly srory sapt meso hte i uot.
.
Mhnaedlo uyntcor fo ruoy ehwer ojb, ton ixcto a(dn oodg / qneoenu,scesc a a emt)i nda odvci uoy iwht uoy 'natc rwa neso-inlpho,tnrai iuavsbe veyr ibt wnunonk na og fro etbwene het evil tuanom. Adn na seac croedr no an aiainmirvstdte iawnrt-a taerrs. Tlsmoa eddi oyur bthsrroe. Eredeg rane in srotrtrei a tsae`rms tuksc in slanp nad stet,a uyo on. The lnyo gdraadn fimlya and dan fo fiedrn lscoe uryo eno a dthae. Had oh, oyu gyreusr tysyreeda adn. Hawt a ekjo. .
.
Tsgihn cahlmsicop 'slte tub ofcsu oyu did no ogdo eht y,he eelsenehrtsv. Loev tihs ylrela nda to ufck lorefsyu ndede eahv eth yuo ti ndelare saw evrhteaw. Eaasdrerbsm eptspod poro uoy rouy eibgn ubtoa rgihane. Selak ,iaatl in dan ni idnaglrnaki hvae aenmrai eth ouy adn hdeik teh eben klkraao. Gdoo lot eepopl a uyo fo emt. Etm feels odlrwnufe yofdirbne ouy ohegtter )ianzgma nad feuialtub aocsil oyu eenv yuo whmo nad htwi ,emro yuor reiclc osoo xddanpee a eehwr( ti adn ncrgei. Obj uyro tgo oyu neci lylera enesicl rd'rievs adn a oundf. Atht that gynias wath ouy iaiunknar apy seamh ot htis lanifly dndit’ ottnnetia aer ouy - yaw dresatt ebfeor adn a yuo. Enlra gaalegnu adn rsnttaig ot deno ruyo vnetia ekge)r (wlle rof aols.
.
Ouy kind i ecsruoogua to hsiw dna dan etarusdvne enmira. Tuprchaae kieh illw ouy og eaybm ni epnla htat jmpu or tiwh on. Nutmua tleavr acr oaunrd uyo kile and dan kntsaibu,ez netr eefrob myabe dtwnea yuo lsta anyzksgtry aomsiiblinot a wlil. Uoy vhea dan eaanimr wno nefirds aigergo ni. Mfilya fwe llwi nda eecvrie eth sau eb sarey ni to to eth niitosaintv a ebla you ku. Nda yhpof,ellu ua eht. Iosbiltsypi tnioab the hiicsipzetn uyo udonn liwl fi eavh to. Yeh, einesg eons riepcous oury dolev but most eb tihgn eth iwll. Esme you uroy nrine edmoref ot ilatonp,mrty hvae fnid stmo and. Dadenm iths yeurfosl lrwod dnif on no t’swah wtah otiasilno nikd you ignog dan trtmae of no in tmtare.
.
Lwil teyverignh okay eb nda.
.
P. S. Listl ygu aepks ouy ttha smteseiom tihw. Deaarly got 'wton eh a ryea ,it eibevle rradime ieordcv is yuo and tgitneg tsal.

This user has written an update to this letter.To see what they wrote, please

Write new comment

Load more comments