Hello! Today is 29th june, 2 a.m. You are now 22 years old, but your birthday is coming soon - whole **** 23 years old. Can’t even remember exact age right away. Hah, in 2023 you will be 25.
Yesterday you finally came back home, Moscow, from 5-days trip, that emotionally seemed to last for several months. No joke - for 24 hours to be in five cities, three airpots, couple busses and jeep in mountains. You were at the end of earth, the Arctic region. Teriberka. And that is where you were terrified for the first time in your life - that he was going to hit you. He screamed and threatened you. It was hard to leave and you ran as fast as you can. And so you lost a friend.
This spring you lost another friend, because you were not in the resource to support her problems. You were scared, how bad her situation was - since childhood. You found a therapist for her and chose yourself.
And before all this, in the fall and winter, you were on antidepressants. It was also hard - so much hopeless loneliness, where you were for everyone free psychologist and bank-loan. Except yourself.
In January you met a guy, in twitter and you accidentally met for real in June. It was good, but also there was a feeling like it was too early and your roads have not supposed to cross yet. But there was also a feeling, like everything is ahead. Maybe it is. Maybe it is not.
Oh girl, few weeks ago you finished university and got scared, what will be now? You have been waiting for this freedom for so long and suddenly here it is.
Dear sunshine, I hope by this time you will love yourself more. You will find a job and a city of your dreams. You will have healthy environment. And after two years of work experience you will find out, what life you want to lead. And what kind of master’s degree to choose.
And everything will be okay.
Epilogue
2 days later
Hello! Today is 30th June, 8.52 p.m. You are now 24 and very very soon will be 25 years old. And it's been two very fucked up years. Congratulations, you...
Vvrsueid thme. Arpt fo orrys ubota hte otu ertund stap i how esmo m uurtfe leylar ,em.
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Jb,o not and enetbwe usivabe heerw alnrst,ni-ooipenh oxict nda( / ogdo hiwt raw go bti uyo rfo an'ct na ryev lvie icvdo sescounecqe,n yuo oruy naomtu nnunokw a adolenhm the fo ncytour a te)im. On an trieavsniadimt t-aarwin asec na rredoc aersrt nad. Stamol rouy idde terbshro. Eat,st oesitrtrr no stcuk anspl in a in adn ouy rgedee ams`estr rnae. Adn of dienfr a secol ardgadn ruoy etdah the nad lnoy eon ifymla. Urgsrye adh ,oh and easydyrte uyo. Atwh a keoj. .
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Ddi no stle' osicpamlch reslsteevneh eth btu odog ouy yh,e gtnihs ocsuf. Velo hvae uyo teh ralyel tish nedde and ot eahevwtr leursofy wsa deanrel it cufk. Smbredraeas dpoteps oryu bneig you opro agrienh aoutb. Ni adn ihedk the hte vahe uoy kasle alkkoar dakrngaliin in nad ,ailat aarmnei enbe. Emt gdoo ouy lpeope lot fo a. Eiyorfdbn zmaia)ng nwdferlou ierccl a homw re,om dndpaeex mte ncgier osoo yuo eewr(h ouy biulfetau oyu nda itwh eetthrgo nda lisoca evne nda lseef oryu ti. Dna ojb eenicsl onfud rlayle uroy drsvr'ei ogt a ouy ince. Iths ot insgya ouy frbeoe ertdats tath - uyo atht oyu htaw taeittonn ayw a iruaninak inlayfl dan aer ypa smhea nddit’. Targisnt rof eivnta ot rnlae node rouy gualaeng r)geke osal (llew dna.
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Adn hisw i kdni dna aimenr osrgeuauoc dneaesvutr ot yuo. Aacuretph ro kieh lilw eplna hatt go ni jpum ambye itwh no ouy. Mebay retn arc wlil a efbero uyo tmuuna yuo tsmoaoiiibnl nuabsk,etzi and aelrtv tsal ekli kgznyystra nad uoradn ndweat. In own grgoeai mnaaier ridnefs nad you aveh. Asu eth will nda in ceireev ot ku esayr oyu to abel few a naitsvotini lyifma eb teh. Yhuleop,fl ua and teh. To piiibslyost eicszhiinpt if eth itnoba yuo nondu wlli veha. Irpousec otsm y,eh be insege lwil but uyor olevd tinhg eson eth. Nad veha deemrfo to ryou uyo ltnta,ypmoir mtso ndif nnier esem. Yuo wt’ahs hwta ademdn and fdin in tsih on iggno on eourslfy oldwr no rtmtea fo atrtem ndik nsooailit.
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Oaky iwll adn veghinrtey be.
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P. S. You ygu taht sepka isomesetm tihw isltl. Si vielebe adn eh iermadr uyo a ietngtg 'nowt got t,i yera laeryda stal vodecir.
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