A letter from Jun 16th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, what did the doctor tell you, was it bad news, or good news,=if you are able to have kids in the future omg thats so great, youve come so far in life, finally graduated out of high school, going to college, for summer classes, but you make it a big deal because i get to expiriment at least 3 months of college, I am proud of you for graduating last few years have been hell. they have, finally you wont be able to see rudy thank god we are passed it. so what happend? was it bad news? good news? tell me everything, are you able to have kids, did the doctor come up with a plan, during that process? if you are able to, YAY! if you arent then. well at least you can adopt a child who needs a family, or you could get a ton of dogs, and those could be your children lmao, as im writing this I am scared as ****, wanting for the 24th of june to come quick so i know if i could have kids, ive been praying day and night crying to give me the blessing to become a mother, perhaps not now, me and pranav are very busy, and right now its a difficult time for me to become a mother because of my depression. I know I shouldnt be depressed, but here I am. You have alot of things ahead of you, you have a lot to accomplish. hopefully you'll have the blessing to be a mother, your sezuires may not be curable, but dios will have his ways.- june 15, 2021 Maria Alvarez Chavez

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

Hey 18 year old self, If you would have seen your 20 year old self now you would be in pieces, the doctor told me that I just have to...

Tiwh efil ksid dlo vhae i a eth yuo cna rcla,ufe a cagnedh my mlptcdeoe nad btu ti’s htta aehv psu n,wsod eb os m’i i eebn evha yrea agetr dna bti ltsli bihden i not ,eeerdg ash 2 rmjao 2420 nicee now. Aniognny reaod,bla dski ehss’ tub. Adn are ttah fsgreee rykco anvpra ttgerhoe rof i inactdes tlsil bene ew uteqi rycnepnag ysa olng rae oru gsityndu on ntnghoi me tl,isl ahd,cgne tis’ nca. Rboerineld i paslntoreyi evah nwo. Eutqi lodnw’tu oyu userndtadn. Anyrba adasuselt ’mi i rsryo xselalyu ogt yb. Ngiog hsit hatw yuo tno urhgoht eebn heav is. It’s that yhet ltlsi ysa won ont t’si ym enev i ohtguh klei utfal elef. Tntugci v’ie hetvan’ rof uyo fles” eodn so “enetaeg i m’i awth orsyr ot ebne. Oengro ni a nad i i wlli 12 uyro you oskme dasd’ aym heer a ckfude gdoo deew adn hvae pu li’l adh lkie nwo os tpayr atls adarif 2204 otn am you 01 eb yrea atirydhb. Teh i rsatt reodsuntdo from ,saevp phey nidk eenvr ibg of a lol. Nta’c oyu a nkifugc one boj od gnivha lltsi erineth icbth fcngiku toseh pkee broek epek i sireuzse oyu trheca. Adesdvetta mi’. Ti reeh iukfcgn ahet i. I akme my ot tuhhog eevw’ tpso holoachl dad ot nvee mhuc add edtri post so he nlo’udwt nad now ryt radh os htae my. Won 12 irtnugn m’i ulnit htta. Ymanroe lla all ash i nwat he efli hwy i ym tn’od ikirndng igyrnt tou find neeb fiel to ihm ihs etspn. Ndrki coannt tbu iatnngyh wneh nifd i i. Elfe sode he waht i a’cnt. Sgurilrn dwrso nad etpexc kilngaw nnyfu ofr. Ro yeprl ortahen aubot back mnhto emilo!tona ot tiewr lil’ a itsh gbien. Iltlte ewets blaermi. Dlevo oklo ecihdnlinr uyro lsitl sveeserd raf haev to eb ouy o,c🥹mervoe owh. To ot msee ntac’ hreew uyo difn go. Tosl ’lli in dlwor your eb ckab onw. Sn💖oo.

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