A letter from Jun 16th, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, what did the doctor tell you, was it bad news, or good news,=if you are able to have kids in the future omg thats so great, youve come so far in life, finally graduated out of high school, going to college, for summer classes, but you make it a big deal because i get to expiriment at least 3 months of college, I am proud of you for graduating last few years have been hell. they have, finally you wont be able to see rudy thank god we are passed it. so what happend? was it bad news? good news? tell me everything, are you able to have kids, did the doctor come up with a plan, during that process? if you are able to, YAY! if you arent then. well at least you can adopt a child who needs a family, or you could get a ton of dogs, and those could be your children lmao, as im writing this I am scared as ****, wanting for the 24th of june to come quick so i know if i could have kids, ive been praying day and night crying to give me the blessing to become a mother, perhaps not now, me and pranav are very busy, and right now its a difficult time for me to become a mother because of my depression. I know I shouldnt be depressed, but here I am. You have alot of things ahead of you, you have a lot to accomplish. hopefully you'll have the blessing to be a mother, your sezuires may not be curable, but dios will have his ways.- june 15, 2021 Maria Alvarez Chavez

Epilogue

almost 3 years later

Hey 18 year old self, If you would have seen your 20 year old self now you would be in pieces, the doctor told me that I just have to...

Ibt thiw i st’i adn sdki 2 fcaelur, pus not nad dno,ws that haev has cleomedpt 2240 a can flei e,greed the i ehva uoy my won illst be inbhed eeinc ubt so aevh i acdgenh ebne reya a jomra atrge odl ’im. But dkis oinynagn ’hsse dloaeba,r. Arpanv eatdcisn gncaerpny anhdgce, asy sfeeegr em llits tiqeu atth i rae hnognti on orgthtee we ,ilslt and uro ts’i rfo enbe cna crkoy olng ygunitds rea. Iroeenlrbd i ipslnrtyaeo veha nwo. Qeuit oyu ndedasrnut ou’wdlnt. ’mi yb dleausast yalexusl nyrbaa otg i syorr. Rthohug tihs hawt nebe tno hvea yuo is oigng. Hthoug ym neve i ttah llist tyeh futal yas won iekl ton is’t s’it elef. I oyu t’nahve yosrr ebne vei’ to mi’ so f”les ahtw orf eodn n“egaete tgnicut. Ehre a ltsa nad own you yrae nda hda in ekli up 21 atbdriyh keudcf 2402 oyu tno yrpat os vaeh i’ll eb deew i oroneg am 10 eoskm uyro amy a i dads’ oodg ridaaf wlli. Dikn ,pseva teh a omfr of igb tsrat dtrouesdno enrev hyep lol i. Ekpe tchib i oshet kpee vgihan kfincug gciknfu a tiherne acnt’ tharec neo ltisl uoy ojb do oebrk uoy sezesuir. Im’ eastdavdte. Htea i cunkifg ti hree. I dan dad htae os cuhm dda kema rdha hclhlaoo wvee’ eridt uogthh tosp ym so u’dtlwon eh try own ym tpso to nvee ot. ’mi tilnu ngnriut htta 12 onw. Estnp i aroymen ash hwy life ish my i lal eh ndfi to bene hmi don’t uto dkiirngn elif grtnyi tanw lal. Enwh i taconn nnagithy i nrkid dnif tub. Leef i he sdoe tn’ca twha. Ecetxp ilgawnk ynufn nusgrilr adn orwsd for. Ihst ahtrneo kbca ebgin tmonh otnlmieao! a ’lil ro tbuoa to leypr riwet. Ewest ileltt aielmbr. Tilsl ecemor🥹v,o evha raf eb to rcndeiihnl evesders who delov uyor you kool. Mees ifdn hrwee ot nat’c og to uoy. Eb cakb uryo sotl ni wordl onw l’il. Soo💖n.

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