A letter from Apr 22nd, 2021

Peaceful right?

Dear FutureMe, I really hope you feel better. Things aren't really good now. I hope you reached your goals. Did you lose weight? Did you choose a good high school? Did you get better at dancing? Can you play the guitar? How is it going in school? Do you have a roommate? Did you get some new friends? What's their names? What high school did you take? How did you decorate your room? I really hope it's green. What kept you going? Is mom calling all the time? How is it going for Andjela? How is Jovana doing in 8th grade? Is Andjela in England? Is it hard, you know, with life? Do you know what you wanna be when you grow up? Do you have your hair short now? Is it a shaggy wolf cut? Do you finnaly wear makeup? Did you get taller? Do you visit Jennifer sometimes? Did your clothes style change? Did you get a boyfriend? Do you miss Filipstad? Is it fun there you are now? Do you have a dance youtube channel? Is your fear of water better? Is Coronavirus over? I really hope it is. It's hard now. Did you forget any good stuff that happened? Do you still have contact with any of your middle school classmates? I hope you're not that lazy anymore! Get yourself together! You can do it! Make mom proud now, please... Study really hard and don't forget to rest... Are you eating normaly? Please do. There are so many things I want you to think about: Don't get too stressed. Work hard and prove mom that you can get a job. Make her the proudest mom. Let her see what amazing daughter she have. Call Jovana and help her with her studies. I know it's hard, but you can do it. Think about what you want to and will become. Write again here and send it to us when we are 19. I love you, please take care of yourself and others. Don't let me down. And, Happy Birthday. From 14 years old Kiki to 16 years old Kiki.

Epilogue

6 months later

Nothing freaking changed Kiki.
You are Sucidal!
You're still fat and ugly.
No you did not cut your hair.
Friends? You actually stopped being friends with Jennifer, but she's asking...

Uyo tkal ginaa ot rhe ot mroowrot.
Ear eppeol in oerht anhg ocolsh kaot sref?nid wthi you otu meos tyrpet eerth. They uoy not owh negimadi ear. Ouy noe of utllayac ,aldyaelr ehmt know eleln. Oyrue' mhet btu ton loces of nya whti.
Repulp cemso ihwt rmoo holso,c ryuo si ltlsi mlyiaf nda to it eivl yuo wenh ouyr.
Gmy nad not nad parolbby ldkhskpaunlsasmä alssc ruey'o yu'llo ialf ytisngud.
Ni ybo fun lkei looshc at'swh yuo a. Aognn r'yeou nnghiayt m,hi aks utb aspn rfo wnok to'nd shi ytr dna uoy oatub.
Lsao. . . . Hte stlea wheol at nfacisfnoit uohsr etmeimsso a 'eryuo gritiwn 4 dya y,da.
Pu rvyee twrho dof,o yuo o?fod mtie oyu eaht uyo ot wnat eat.
Nemtla esrnu oruy ot the lhoosc nda abd easucbe yuo ahthel og fo. .
Uyo ne?dac ncade eilk a oecn in tnmho ro lses. Ahtn it ga?utri uoy ettrbe ddi ouy nca nad listl tuairg alpy utb ussck het. Won onit u'ryoe panio emor. Het ealerdn wne piaon a uoy on nsog. Ylale ltsoneebu.
And royu teah ethy ahnt yuo unijgdg iltsl are vree eorm malyfi. Rea won iejfnner eerv he'ss gnhiton htey emth wa,s ot ocrepam ewosr atth. Sism uyo knaid reh.
Now too tlosmy nadik rifdsne uscaebe uksc yrou.
Ifsrt uyo ?cerset ever temi kurnd tgo het rof a. A lot ierdc uoy.
Ahrd oyu soal atinbgerh a tmei d,ba adh npiac antixey gto and yruo is actakt.
Drah itme usbeace atth oeftn to tionlrahe veha ehinratgb ouy you eus orgotf say. Hrsut od hvwrteea also doyb oruy you. Whta aleryl ouy nawan eatfr are tsedesrs uot scolho hihg emoebc uyo.
On inihgfcr ylejl adn oh a teutrb hcisn,wda pkop ym entw oyu eatupn oertccn. Kcche ero,s teh out ethm. An apphy mcoe hte ercctno swa erfat aibsuev pcale it os lflu htat oyu het a orhu idnd't godo aiymfl ecuasbe nda rdcei aanwn eman aveel rfo uoy ot ngaim,az.
Eliv dan if 'sit tmoemnc frmo it uoy sltli trsut ivsge waay tlltei anc, nrefinej eomh rnu tiwh neinejr,f evyer em ohtrw oyu.
Llki ady eryev ot oryu own llest lrfy,soeu you khtin keil ynrugoe guess hatt tessir ew os.
Immi tg,aer eht is ihntg gniilv love onyl uyo iknad. Felt cseni ouy gstoh imh oby ate'hvn ,yuo hihg eesn estb riefdn olshoc oryu slao etdstar uyo. Lal dna eht etfl in mhoe rae ertoh shtoer.
Own ryou on erouy'.
Darmesayd cnuto uoy lepoep teh all in uryo ofsfanitucn fi t'don nad of iueabutlf.
Maiardeyndg whit a mobeplr lstli ehav ae,yh you. Erev tis' owesr htna.
D!ie ouy hpeo e!by.

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